Photographs and stepparent

I don't think you can or should exclude his mother's husband from formal pictures. Sorry.

Yeah, the new stepfather should be in the pictures. It sucks, but he is part of the family now.

I would include him. One suggestion is to have one large family picture and another with biological parents.

Include him. Be mindful that these pictures are not only to remember the present time but so the future can look back.

You include him. How else is he supposed to get to know him? Is he just going to not acknowledge him ever?

If he tells his mom, he's not only going to insult his new step-father, but her as well.

He's part of his family now, regardless of how well he knows him.

You're asking for drama and arguments if you exclude him from photographs in anyway.

Make a list with all of the picture combinations you want and give it to the photographer. Make it clear to him that no matter what other people say the day of, that master list will be followed.

However, you need to include the SF in at least one group shot and a separate shot of bride, groom, mom and sf. You can only order the ones without him if you want. This way there are no hurt feelings the day of.

IMO, it's rude to try and exclude him. You may not know him well or like him (trust me, I understand) but it's just harsh and very rude.

You can obviously just take a picture with the bio mom by herself but then you should take a pic with the stepfather AND the bio mom also but you should definitely not exclude him from a large family photo. Like it or not, he is family now.

Take some pictures with him. You don't have to put them in the album and you don't want any unnecessary drama on your day

How many family pictures do you plan to take? Usually it's a couple with the mom's, a couple with just Dad, and a couple with everyone. Have your photographer take all kinds of pictures so that he's not left out. You don't have to display the one with him in your home or anything but his Mom may want a copy.

I would not exclude the stepfather from formal pictures. He doesn't have to be in all of them, but do right by his mother and put him in a few. My mom is a step-mother, and my step-brother and his wife BLATANTLY exclude her from photos most of the time, and it hurts my mother and my step father as well.

ETA: Since your FH is worried what may come of this - the consequences of this are hurt feelings and resentment.

Thanks all! Yes, I was planning on doing separate pictures with just them and perhaps forgo a huge family picture, as with any mixed family it just makes things easier. There is a lot more to the story but in this fact compromising on a few pictures to keep everyone happy is truly my goal.

You need to include him some. Do a big family picture with him, then do one where it's blood family only. Talk to your photographer, see how the best way to approach these things are. Definitely do some with them seperately. Get one of just you guys with his mom. As long as yall are including him some, there shouldn't be issues.

Don't forego a huge family picture. That's rude and deliberately rude.

I really don't want to exclude! I totally know how bad that feels, my mom is a step mom and I'm a step sibling so we've been excluded many times, it's evening happening at my own wedding and it's supposed to be "my" day . I think it's just the art of finding the balance where there is enough pictures so his mom is happy. I am really leaning toward one with his mom, his stepdad, their two daughters and us and maybe us with just his parents so his biological mom has those photo memories as well.

You can have several different pictures. Give photographer a specific list of what you want. If biodad in picture, he may want some without stepdad.

How long have they been married? Have they been together a long time? My mom has been married 3 times so I know if she had a S/O or FH etc I would not want them included in pictures. As an adult they are just my mothers husband to me. Depending on some factor's I may include someone like that. For example my grandpa and his GF have been together for several years and although she drives me batty I'd include her.

You still have to include him or ask your fh's mom what she wants she may surprise you and think that its too soon or weird. I think were going to be doing with and with out but it will be across the board. all three of our parents are remarried and they have been around for 3-18 years and we have very different relationships with all three but we dont want to hurt any of our parents by not including their spouses.

In the same position but it's not really a " step parent ". They have been dating for 7 years but they have said they will never legally get married again. Since she's the " girlfriend " I was wondering if I include her in pics or not. This is helpful.

I was excluded from all the family photos at my Stepdaughters wedding and I can't tell you how hurt and angry I am. The photographers got the family together and as I walked over to stand beside my husband of 16 years I was told with a hand stopping me "this is a family photo". So a spouse of say five years is family but myself of 16 years is not considered family simply because of my title? I thought I had a great relationship with my Stepdaughter but I was excluded from all the family photos. So if you don't like your brother's wife are you going to exclude her from the family photos? This is ridiculous.