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Just Said Yes September 2020

Photographer

Megan, on February 15, 2020 at 3:52 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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I have been really stressed out about paying for my wedding (my family isn’t the best and everyone except for my two sisters are refusing to even help set up). I have been researching photographers for a couple weeks and finally found one that I love her style and thought that I might be able to scrape up enough money for. Just when I was getting ready to put down the down payment my sisters called me and said that they put together some money and booked me a photographer already. I was extremely surprised and grateful but also they picked my absolute least favorite photographer. I don’t like that photographers style and I don’t think she does a very good job at weddings at all. Am I being selfish? I feel so guilty but my man and I never take pictures and I was excited to have nice ones... now I feel like I’m not going to have my vision. I love my sisters and they are so incredible for everything they do for me. Am I a horrible person for feeling this way?

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Dj Tanner, on February 17, 2020 at 7:55 PM

Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 15, 2020 at 4:18 PM
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Not at all, it was generous of them to pay but also choosing a wedding photographer is a very personal decision and it was wrong of them to book one for you without checking to make sure that’s the one you wanted! I would have them try to get the money back and put it towards the photographer you want.
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on February 15, 2020 at 4:41 PM
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Yes, I definitely agree with Gen
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on February 15, 2020 at 5:13 PM
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100% agree with this
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 15, 2020 at 5:42 PM
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You are not being selfish at all. If there's one thing I have researched and I agree with is you really should invest in good photography. Sadly Brides have come to this forum to vent about how either one they haven't gotten their pictures back after weeks or months from a photographer or that they hated their pictures. Pictures are memories and are super important and you want to look back on your wedding is going to be one of the happiest days of your life. I would talk to your family and friends and let them know that you would really rather work with this photographer and that you appreciate their attempts to book one for you but see if they could get their money back. If not I would still cancel with the photographer and maybe reimburse them the deposit. I think good photography is worth investing in.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 15, 2020 at 9:59 PM
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Not at all. That’s real nice of them but you want your memories shot in a way you’d like and that makes sense
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Master May 2020
Kari · on February 16, 2020 at 11:56 AM
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I'm a photographer so photography is super important to me. I'd rather have a good photographer than an actual full wedding, so this would crush me, and I'd stress about this endlessly. If I only had a certain amount of money to spend, I'd probably get a great photographer and get married at the courthouse or elope and do a fun photo shoot before I'd spend money on a traditional wedding.

IMO your photographer is probably one of the most important vendors of your big day and who you choose is also very personal. The connection you feel with your photographer will have a huge impact on the photos, and of all the things you are paying for the photos are what will last decades from now and what you will show your kids and grandkids. To me, what's the point of splurging on a gorgeous venue, beautiful flowers, and picture perfect invites if you have no photos to capture those details and look back on?

I think you can thank your sisters for their generosity but tell them you have your heart set on this other photographer and would love if the money could be put towards the photographer whose work you love, even if it means their contribution can't cover the whole thing.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on February 17, 2020 at 7:55 PM
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No not at all! If they put money together they should have asked you who you wanted. I would seriously just tell them unless it’s too late to change or if they will lose out on money.
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