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Devoted August 2019

Photographer has gone mia

Madison, on July 4, 2018 at 10:19 AM Posted in Planning 0 34

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Hi everyone,

I’m officially having my first big stress of wedding planning. My photographer has gone MIA!

Right after my fiancé and I got engaged, I knew I wanted to ask a family friend, who is a professional wedding photographer, to do our photos. He did my senior photos back in high school and was incredibly helpful and his photos turned out beautifully.

Shortly after the proposal, I contacted him and he was very excited to meet with me and FH. We set up a meeting for a few weeks out.

After meeting with him and going over pricing, my fiancé and I decided we would book him. I tried to call and email him letting him know our decision, and it took a few days for him to get back to us. No big deal, but he said he was excited to work with us and that we would just have to sign a contract (available online) and send him the deposit.

Fast forward a week, I had some questions about the contract with specifics such as when he should meet us on the day of and where. I sent him an email asking if he could clarify. A week goes by and absolutely no word, so I try calling his number. It goes straight to voicemail. I left a voicemail asking if he could contact me at his earliest convenience and still nothing. That was 5 days ago, and I just tried calling his number again and it went straight to voicemail.

Does anyone have any any advice for me? I’m so bummed that this is happening. We loved his work but I don’t want to go through this for another 13 months until the wedding. Help!!

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34 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on July 5, 2018 at 10:30 PM

VIP October 2018
Sara P. · on July 4, 2018 at 10:31 AM
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Hire a professional that is not a friend or family member.
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Devoted September 2018
Mac2Bee · on July 4, 2018 at 10:33 AM
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It’s easy to have a family friend do pictures for your senior photos. It’s a different story when it comes to your wedding day. I implore you to go with someone else.

Let me first tell tell you about what happened with me and a family friend florist. We put off talking to her because we were really hesitant to do this but FSIL insisted. Family friend was really excited until it came to money and contracts. We couldn’t get ahold of her. No response to phone calls or emails. FH asks his sister after 3 weeks and apparently the lady has some horrible things going on in her personal life. We finally sent a “sorry but we are 90 days out and you haven’t answered us” email and went another direction. DO NOT put yourself in that position.
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Super March 2019
Mcellist · on July 4, 2018 at 10:38 AM
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*** Family friend= be careful. You never want to be making excuses for people providing a service to you, especially on your wedding day.***
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 10:48 AM
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Let me clarify, yes he is a family friend but his job is wedding photography. I definitely didn’t want to “hire” someone who takes photos as a hobby. This is his profession, which is why I’m so confused by his lack of responsiveness.
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Devoted July 2019
#WhenYouWishUponAWelch · on July 4, 2018 at 10:51 AM
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I would have to agree with PP. It sucks to have to lose whatever deposit you made, but at this point I wouldnt want to have to worry about it if I were you. While you still have plenty of time to your wedding, you dont want to end up waiting and regretting it when you cant find anyone else that you are happy with
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on July 4, 2018 at 10:57 AM
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His lack of resposiveness is likely because he’s a friend. He probably just does not see your agreement or communications in the same light he sees a client that he has no personal relationship with.
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Super December 2018
Lacy · on July 4, 2018 at 10:59 AM
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Have you given him any money yet? My advice is to drop him like a hot potato and find another photographer.

I wonder if he is like this with all his clients or if he thinks that you're more forgiving since you're a family friend.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 11:04 AM
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Luckily we have not given any money to him. Because I had questions on the contract, I still hadn’t sent him any money or a signed contract. I think you guys might be right, maybe because we are family friends, he isn’t being as professional as he is with other clients.
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Expert August 2018
Heather · on July 4, 2018 at 11:16 AM
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I know it has happened in the past, which is why everyone is all 'don't hire family friends', but I have to roll my eyes every time I see it because not everyone is like that. Almost every vendor I'm using is a family friend, and it has been nothing but great. They answer all my questions and keep their appts with me and FH just like they do with other clients.

Now, while your friend my be putting off contacting you or maybe he's got something going on in his life right now, I'd personally give him a little more time. You have a little over a year till your wedding, it's not like it's in 3 months. It is busy wedding season, so maybe he's just been super busy? A quick follow up email or text letting you know that would be cool, though.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 11:19 AM
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Agreed! I think we will give him a little more time, because there is always a chance something is happening in his life that we don’t know about. I would appreciate a text or call just letting me know that, though! We do have plenty of time before the wedding which is nice, but I know photographers book up quick and had planned on doing engagement photos in the next two or three months. I’m just bummed this is happening.
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Expert August 2018
Heather · on July 4, 2018 at 11:27 AM
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Yea, it takes seconds to type up a quick email or text, which I fully understand it's a bummer when that doesn't happen. Even if you try reaching out to him again, putting in there something like 'maybe you are super busy with other weddings/events right now, or maybe you've got some personal things going on, but if you could just send a quick response that we'll discuss the contract soon, I'd really appreciate it' hopefully he'll realize oh snap I need to at least get back to her.
I really hope this works out for y'all ❤
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VIP August 2018
Alforev · on July 4, 2018 at 11:35 AM
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He doesn’t sound professional or reliable so I would find someone else.
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Super September 2018
Ingrid · on July 4, 2018 at 11:49 AM
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I do think you still have time to decide, but I think I would be cautious if I were you. I’d dare to say the wedding photographer is the most important vendor because it’s one of the few things you get to hold on to for the years to come. For example — it took my string quartet for the ceremony a few days to get back to me, and while I thought that was weird, that’s not really one of my most important vendors. I’m probably going to be in such a daze when I’m walking down the aisle that I won’t even hear the music. But a wedding photographer is very important and you need someone you can count on!!!
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Master 0000
Judith · on July 4, 2018 at 12:06 PM
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Last I knew there was no prohibition on photographers taking vacations, being sick, going to family funerals, or anything usual people do. As long as they complete all work they have contra ted for, they cannot be expected to always answer or reply to calls, texts, for work way in the future, and be available for everyone at all times. Unreasonable to get upset, or worry. Relax.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 12:12 PM
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Uh pretty sure I didn’t say he needed to drop his whole life and get back to me within 30 seconds. Like I said in my post, he took a few days to get back to me in the beginning and I have absolutely no issue with that. And like I said in my comment, there is a strong chance he’s dealing with something in his own life and I said I’d give him more time to get back to me. In your opinion then, Judith, how long between calling someone do you expect them to get back to you?
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Master September 2018
FutureMrs.L · on July 4, 2018 at 12:20 PM
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Yeah,.. No.. If a vendor can't reply to me, for weeks, or even have an "out of office" reply if on vacation, i'm not doing business with them. I understand it's unrealistic to expect an immediate reply, but more than a week, or several weeks to reply, is poor business. If anyone treated their clients like that, they'd never have business.

If i'm paying thousands for a service, a week is more than appropriate length to expect a reply.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 12:25 PM
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THANK YOU. I don’t expect this guy to be at my beck and call, but I’m paying thousands of dollars for his work. And if all he’s expected to do is just show up on the day of, I think that’s pretty ridiculous. Obviously there is a lot of communication with vendors prior to the actual wedding day.
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Master September 2018
FutureMrs.L · on July 4, 2018 at 12:27 PM
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My photographer usually replies within a few days, as does my Florist.

Personally, i'd look for another photographer. He's not answering calls, emails, texts for based on your OP, at least 2 weeks. That's, in my opinion, not someone I want to give my money to.
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Expert June 2019
Amarriedmann · on July 4, 2018 at 12:37 PM
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It could be he’s just really unprofessional at his job - which you DON’T want! I know you’re disappointed but I’d seek out another photographer. IF while you’re searching, he gets back in contact with you AND has a really good reason - like he was legitimately in the hospital. Then MAYBE give him another shot. But I think you may want to scratch him off your list and be thankful you haven’t signed a contract yet.
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Devoted August 2019
Madison · on July 4, 2018 at 12:41 PM
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Thank you to everyone who gave advice! This is my first vendor (besides the venue) that I’m dealing with and I don’t want to over or under react to the time frames I’m getting responses from. I appreciate all the positive but constructive advice!
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