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Dedicated August 2019

Personalized "vows" pre-ceremony

Elizabeth, on May 16, 2018 at 9:47 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 13

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We're getting married in a Catholic church so we're not allowed to write our own vows - plus, to be honest, I'd probably be too embarrassed/shy to say them in front of 130 people, so I've been thinking about compromising by writing our own "unofficial vows" and exchanging them privately during our first look (with only the photographer and videographer present) and then exchanging our Catholic vows during the ceremony obviously. I feel like this will make our day that much more special and intimate we'll still get to have it captured on film so we can remember and look back on it.

Anyone doing something like this?

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13 Comments

Latest activity by paperalta, on May 24, 2018 at 10:55 AM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on May 16, 2018 at 9:50 AM
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We didn’t do this, but I love this idea!
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Master April 2018
Mrs. Sponge · on May 16, 2018 at 9:59 AM
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I think this is a great idea! H and I wrote our own vows and I would not trade that for anything!
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Devoted May 2018
Bride Brain · on May 16, 2018 at 10:27 AM
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I'm not Catholic but he is so we are getting married Catholic. I didn't even think about them not letting us write vows so we wrote our own. Our priest then suggested we say them at the rehearsal. I think it's a brilliant idea. I'm so looking forward to doing that TOMORROW. AH. Love your first look idea! It'll be personal between you all.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 16, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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I love this idea! I've seen couples write love letters to each other to open before the ceremony too. Sometimes the videographer films the couple reading them, which is super sweet.
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WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
Jo · on May 16, 2018 at 10:47 AM
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That's super cute! I've heard of couples exchanging love letters before the wedding, sometimes as a kind of first look/first touch substitute, but have not heard of them exchanging private vows. I love the idea, it sounds very intimate and sweet.

Photo from Daria & Chad's AZ wedding
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Dedicated August 2019
Elizabeth · on May 16, 2018 at 11:16 AM
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I've seen that too! Definitely considering that as well.
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Expert May 2018
Monica · on May 16, 2018 at 11:43 AM
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Why won't the Catholic church allow you to write your own vows? I've never heard of that before
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Dedicated June 2019
Ana · on May 16, 2018 at 12:15 PM
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I love the idea! My fiancé and I are also Catholic and though I haven’t given the vows situation too much thought I think this is a lovely idea! Something intimate and special. I’m going to consider doing this also.
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Dedicated August 2019
Elizabeth · on May 17, 2018 at 8:19 AM
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Thanks for all of the positive feedback guys! 🙂
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Savvy June 2018
Nicole · on May 17, 2018 at 12:28 PM
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This reminds me of the sweetheart letters people write prior to ceremony but you plan to speak them out loud.
If it would make you happy, go for it.
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Savvy June 2018
Breanne · on May 17, 2018 at 12:30 PM
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Love the idea!!
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Savvy June 2018
Nicole · on May 17, 2018 at 12:31 PM
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Just the nature of the ceremony. When you marry in the Catholic Church you agree to certain things in your marriage and in your life. The vows reflect that. You still get some options, but it's fairly restrictive. It's just part of choosing that religion.

Personally I think the Catholic vows are beautiful and I'm more than happy to speak them.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
paperalta · on May 24, 2018 at 10:55 AM
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Also Catholic. I was thinking of each of us writing our vows as letters and reading the other's vows separately in front of the videographer before we finish getting ready. Both because I don't want to smear makeup from my ugly crying while reading his vows and so we have the letters and video of us with our vows.
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