Personal Attendants

I’ve been a bridesmaid 13 times and have never heard of a personal attendant.

What’s a personal attendant? Hostes or maybe a coordinator?

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A personal attendant is someone that does little things for you like getting you something that you need from your bag or carrying your dress around for you if it has a long train. They are more common in Asia, Africa, Europe etc. but here in the US you don't see many people using them

I think this is a Southern thing (from what I've read?) and think that they're totally unnecessary and not the nicest. "Hey, you're a good enough friend that I want you around the day of my wedding but not good enough to be a bridesmaid, so I want you to run around and do things I should be doing myself or paying someone to do." I would just stick to having your DOC help keep things on track and make sure you're organized so you don't have to ask a friend to be your errand-runner all day.

View Quoted Comment Ohhh I see. Sounds like it could be very similar to a day of coordinator.

I wasn’t thinking of using them to boss around all day, but more so help with setting stuff up, maybe keeping an eye on the candy table throughout the night, help get boutineers on the groomsmen that kind of stuff. Not to get me a glass of champagne, or carry my dress around or anything like that. More so to just be an extra set of hands.

View Quoted Comment This is a job. If you want someone to do a job for you, you should be hiring them and paying them.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. OP, this is what a DOC is for. This is not something your friends should be doing.

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I have a bridal attendant that comes with my venue that does this sort of thing. I wouldn't have gotten one on my own, but it was part of the package. But yes, it is a job for the person which if that is what OP is asking, then I guess she could get two? I can't imagine I'll use mine more than to just make sure some food makes it to the bridal suite during cocktail hour.

I would be more offended than honored if someone asked me to be their personal attendant. It's not flattering that someone wants you to run their errands and get their coffee. Hire a DOC.

View Quoted Comment I paid a DOC to do this. I can’t imagibe asking a friend to do this.

I don’t know of anyone that has ever had a personal attendant? After reading the description, it’s not something I’d sign up for!

Well, I’ve already asked a friend to help me out a couple months ago and she was pleased to be doing it. I have 6 sisters that are all in the bridal party, and I don’t have any friends in it because my FH didn’t want to any more people to it. 12 is enough. She understood was happy with that. Like I previously said, I’m not going to make her run around and get my coffee or put my shoes on my feet. She’s not working for me, she’s just going to be an extra set of hands. I don’t see the big deal. 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I think you should heed what everyone here is saying. You may not see the issue....but everyone else does. “Extra set of hands” is still working.

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This sounds like a DOC. In which case, it's a hired vendor, and you find DOC's on here to see their pricing. Personally, I thought they were rather high so I decided against one. Our venue coordinators took care of the set up and details, whereas my bridesmaids were around to help with boutonnieres, errands, etc. That's part of what being an attendant includes. If you have bridesmaids, surely they can help you with being an extra set of hands.

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This as well. If you don't see it as a big deal, you're not really going to be able to take the forum advice to heart.

I didn't designate anyone but my friend stepped up and came to my room to help me get my bra on and gather everything I needed to take with me to finish getting ready at the venue. She held onto my purse and made sure I was good all night. She wasn't even a bridesmaid. She just wanted me to relax and make sure I was good. It was really sweet of her. If you already have someone I don't see a need really for 2. Having 2 may be more stressful than it's worth.

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If your friend is pleased to help then I don't see any problem with that. Just make sure you get her a nice thank you gift. It's nice when we have friends willing to help. I thought I'd be getting ready all alone until my friend stepped up and asked to help and kept making sure everything was good.

If I was asking to be a personal attendant, I'd be bummed I wasn't a bridesmaid. Maybe just hire a day of coordinator instead?

Maybe, since you've already asked her and she's on board, you could think of another way to make her feel special during the day besides being a bridesmaid? Add her to the program, save her a seat in the reserved section for the ceremony, ask her to be a greeter/ usher, do a reading, etc?

As far as the number of people to help you, it depends on how much decor/ set up you plan on asking her to help with (if any). My invited guest list is 300, and I'll be having a DOC, who will have 3 attendants to help set everything up and run the day. I'll also be inviting my 3 cousins to hang with us that morning while we get ready, they've done the same at both my sisters' weddings, and they're great with hair and makeup in case any bridesmaids who are doing their own need help, and then they get to feel included in everything also.