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Just Said Yes October 2024

Personal Attendant

Jane, on October 28, 2022 at 1:06 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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If I was a personal attendant in a friends wedding, should I feel obligated to have them as a personal attendant in mine? I don’t want a big wedding party. I already have 7 bridesmaids, and I just wasn’t wanting to do any PAs. I don’t know if that’s rude, but I feel like it’s almost worse to make her a PA in mine, just because I was one in hers.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on November 9, 2022 at 7:14 PM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on October 28, 2022 at 1:35 PM
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You are under no obligation to put someone in your wedding party just because you were in theirs. This applies to bridesmaids/MOH/groomsmen/best man, ushers, officiant, master/mistress of ceremonies, personal attendant, etc.
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Devoted September 2022
Sara · on October 28, 2022 at 2:54 PM
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No obligation. There are people that didn't get an invite to my wedding, but I was a bridesmaid in theirs! It's all up to you.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on October 28, 2022 at 4:51 PM
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Many brides and guests don’t consider a personal attendant to be a real role. It’s a fluff title for grunt work that is often done by the day/month of coordinator. No one will be offended if you don’t include that role, as none are reciprocal.

Only invite those whom you cannot imagine the day without and only ask your current closest best friends to be your bridesmaids.
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on October 28, 2022 at 6:38 PM
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What on earth is a personal attendant, haha. They should have never even asked. I'd just have them as a guest. With 7 bridesmaids, being a PA would be a glaring reminder that this person is just there to wait on the real bridal party
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Dedicated September 2023
Ali · on October 30, 2022 at 1:08 PM
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I would have to agree with the others. I don't think you should feel obligated
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Super May 2022
Erin · on November 9, 2022 at 7:14 PM
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Maybe I have this wrong but I thought a personal attendant was just another or older term for “bridesmaid”? 🤔 I guess if it’s not, definitely don’t feel obligated to make her one. Roles are not required to be all filled in everyone’s wedding. We even chose not to have a flower girl or ring bearer.
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