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Devoted January 2020

Personal Attendant Opinions?

Jazmin, on December 4, 2018 at 10:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

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Hi everyone! Someone I know has asked a friend to be their personal attendant for their wedding, and I had actually never heard of such a thing. After a quick Google search it seems like the personal attendant is a friend or family member that performs the duties of a day of coordinator. This seems almost rude to me, asking so much of a friend for a wedding. So basically I wanted to see what everyone else's opinions are, and if I'm understanding the situation and role correctly.

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14 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on December 5, 2018 at 11:22 AM

VIP June 2019
OnCloudRawls · on December 4, 2018 at 10:44 PM
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We are having a day of coordinator for our wedding and her assistant is my bridal attendant. Personally, unless someone volunteers to be your personal attendant, I wouldn't ask a friend to do it for free. I would pay them for their services.
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on December 4, 2018 at 11:14 PM
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I find the idea of personal attendants that are friends to be horrendously rude. I hate that people try to pretend it’s an honor.
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Devoted January 2020
Jazmin · on December 4, 2018 at 11:18 PM
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This is pretty similar to what I initially said to my friend after finding out what a personal attendant was. That it seemed like a lot of work to be passed off as an honor. And it also seems like a your a friend but not good enough to be a bridesmaid role in the wedding
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Devoted January 2020
Jazmin · on December 4, 2018 at 11:21 PM
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I'm kind of in disbelief that this is even a thing. Having someone you're close to do that amount of work when they should be enjoying themselves at the wedding as well, or at least getting paid for the effort.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on December 5, 2018 at 12:03 AM
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Incredibly rude. Coordinating a wedding is a job - a difficult one at that - not an honor.
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VIP June 2019
OnCloudRawls · on December 5, 2018 at 1:05 AM
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I totally agree!
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Super April 2019
Valerie · on December 5, 2018 at 4:15 AM
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Totally agree. I'd be re evaluating a friendship if I was asked to do this
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Master December 2019
Alyssa · on December 5, 2018 at 4:57 AM
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Wow

this is so awful

so instead of including a loved one in a family party to make them do a very expensive job for free?!?

super bad manners
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Master December 2019
Alyssa · on December 5, 2018 at 4:59 AM
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And this too

its an insult on so many levels between excluding them from wedding party and from guest list because now they’re a vendor

but a free one that if the torture I mean honor wasn’t forced on her someone would have made 1-2k to do probably
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on December 5, 2018 at 9:36 AM
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Nope! I would decline! At first I thought it was something like the job of an usher, which is not bad at all. But after hearing what it is I would not agree to that! Why does she even need one anyway? She doesn't have a day of coordinator I bet. I think a wedding can go off completely fine without a coordinator. I have seen it done before, in fact I have never noticed someone walking around one of our friend's weddings. We have a day of coordinator included with our venue but I feel as though most of that will just be for set up purposes and telling the set up crew what to do.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on December 5, 2018 at 9:39 AM
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Ugh. That's a big negative from me.
I'm paying somebody to help out because I don't want to ask family to work on my wedding day. My mom even flat out refuses to work
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VIP August 2018
Kristen · on December 5, 2018 at 10:58 AM
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My venue provided both a DOC and an attendant and it was fantastic to have both.
However, if the venue didn't include them I would never even think to ask a friend to do that. It sounds pretty rude to me and also like a bum deal for the friend she asked.
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Devoted January 2020
Jazmin · on December 5, 2018 at 11:02 AM
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I'm thinking she's trying to get out of paying for a day of coordinator, and picked her most organized friend for the job tbh. I agree that weddings don't need one, especially if you take the time to work out the fine details most things should go smoothly. I don't plan on having one at this point.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on December 5, 2018 at 11:22 AM
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I'm not a fan. I don't think anyone should be given a job at a wedding. I've heard it's more common in the south I guess. We are hiring a DOC to be in charge of that.
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