People trying to add guests

Boyfriends and girlfriends should have been invited, so that’s on you. Unless the relationship is a week and began after you sent invitations.

Everyone else, tell them no. Don’t give excuses.

Apologize and tell them you're not able to accommodate plus ones. I'm so glad we don't have to worry about this.

I’m waiting for our teen children to ask if they can bring a guest.
The answer will be no. My DD16 has had a BF for over a year, he’s still not invited.
Ive been using “sorry our venue only accommodates 45 and I have invited 39 plus our family of 6”
i only invited 32.

People should be allowed a plus one, at least. Did/do your invites say the one person's name only? Or have a line like: _ person/people attending out of _ guests invited?
If they're adding more people than what's written on their invitation, you need to address it with them: "Hello, [name]! We noticed additional people have been added to your invitation. Unfortunately, we are not able to accommodate any more guests at this time. We hope you understand!"

You don't have to phrase it exactly like that, but maybe something along those lines? Personally, I'd feel uncomfortable if I couldn't bring someone to a wedding filled with people I didn't know...I'd want to have a plus one just to be on the safe side.

View Quoted Comment May I ask why your daughter shouldn't bring her boyfriend? That's ultimately your decision but perhaps lying isn't the way to go about it?

OP: "I'm sorry we are unable to accommodate more"

For mothers, children of guests that will most likely be received well. For SOs, not so much.

"People should be allowed a plus one, at least."

Especially with people in (long-term) relationships! I should have added that important sentence!!

When I say SO I mean a cousin who was invited with her parents. Its not like she is coming alone. And she has been off and on with him. And they are all calling me to ask for an extra person cause we did online RSVP and it wont let them add people there.

Have a response memorized or write it out and keep it with you.

"I'm sorry, but we are unable to accommodate any extra guests. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding."

I added a frequently asked question portion to our website adrressing that very question of bringing a plus one. I hope it eliminates most of these issues.

View Quoted Comment Because if I let one, then I gotta let them all. Step daughter isn’t allowed a male companion at this time due to some screw ups. And if I let MY 16 yr old bring a “date” then step D will want a “date” too, even if it’s a flakey female friend. I wasn’t taking away from my head count to offer our teens a “date”. Not to mention the teens need to engage with family that’s coming hundreds of miles(some over 1000) to visit instead of hunkered down on snap chat with their “date”. The teens can hang with friends every other day.
My venue only seats 45 max. And I don’t want to be in there like sardines. I wanted it 40 or less total. Ultimately no one knows who or how many people we invited but us. BUT when they arrive they will see the small space and know I wasn’t lying about max seating.

For me- Anyone in a serious adult relationship or married was given a plus one. And any minor children of adult guests were addressed “and children” on envelope.
Adult children of family(like our cousins) were mailed their own invite to their own house.

View Quoted Comment If she’s an adult, she should still be allowed a plus one no matter what the relationship status.

View Quoted Comment

Agreed, there's always the truth. Lying is the worst thing you can do...especially to a child (yes I'm considering 16 a child). Just be honest, sorry no BF.

OP - If you've already sent out the invites, then yes it's too late in my opinion. For anyone who asks if they can bring someone, just tell them no. You wanted to have your nearest and dearest with you that day and are trying to keep it small (if that's true).

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Plus ones for people not in a relationship are nice, but not mandatory.

I see it this way, if you did not insinuate on allowing plus ones or they are adding more than a plus one yet they have taken it upon themselves to do so then why feel bad about shutting that idea down? Its YOUR wedding and your trying to stick to a budget. People need to understand that and if they thrown a tantrum let them cool off and come around when they understand. If they take it personal then that's their problem.
You shouldn't feel bad for shutting down someones else's rude idea. That makes THEM rude not you.

View Quoted Comment I’m a parent. For 16 years now. I’ve lied to my kid SSOOO many times.
No the cookies are gone
School will be fun
your hair looks great
no you aren’t fat
I’m broke
I did not watch that movie without you
I did not install tracking on your phone

and I will tell the kids-their friends and BF are not invited. I was referring to any other guests that want to bring extra people. Those people don’t know who/how many I invited or my venue.

View Quoted Comment SO’s should always be invited. Apologize for not including him and tell her he is welcome.