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Beginner May 2014

People RSVP'ing who weren't invited to the wedding?

Madison, on April 2, 2014 at 9:35 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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So I just had a couple RSVP to the wedding via our email response. However, they were never sent an invitation to the wedding. We invited their daughter because she's a good friend of ours, but we sent the invitation to her separate address and never gave any indication that her parents were also invited. CT (my fiance) knows her parents a little but not well.

I'm guessing they just assumed they were included as well, but I have no idea how to handle this now. We're having a bigger wedding but can't afford to host many more people without breaking our bank.

My question is, how do you tell someone who thinks they're invited that they're not invited without being completely rude?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Nay, on April 2, 2014 at 10:22 AM

Master December 2013
Kate · on April 2, 2014 at 9:38 AM
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Ugh. people!

assuming they RSVPed that they are coming? I would put it on the daughter honestly and just tell them something like "unfortunately it sounds like there was a bit of a miscommunication with Daughter and we are not able to accommodate any additional guests. Thank you so much for wanting to attend but we are at our maximum capacity with our venue."
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Beginner May 2014
Madison · on April 2, 2014 at 9:40 AM
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Yes, they RSVP'd that they are coming.
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Master May 2014
Out the Window · on April 2, 2014 at 9:40 AM
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People are the worst. Absolute worst. (This is me with 2 more days until my deadline and 75 people still needing to RSVP). You are going to have to contact the daughter and let her know that the invitation was directed specifically only to her (and her plus 1 if you granted her one) and to tell her parents they were not invited. Tell her your sorry but you're already at maximum capacity.

Who does this?!?!?
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Master May 2014
CeCe · on April 2, 2014 at 9:41 AM
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Yah, something like Kate said. I just had to do this very thing and it was SUPER awkward. Seriously, it's happened twice - once was "Well I think our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail but don't worry, we'll be there!" I was like "Who?? What?? Huh?" The other one ended up being a mistake so thankfully although that was awkward it got taken care of easily.

Good luck! Just be apologetic and understanding but firm.
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Master October 2024
Emma · on April 2, 2014 at 9:42 AM
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You're not the rude one - they are! I'd just tell them the truth. They weren't invited and you don't have enough funds to accommodate uninvited guests.
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VIP June 2014
AngelaA · on April 2, 2014 at 9:59 AM
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That is a tough one, yikes! I agree with OTW, I would speak to the daughter you invited, obviously she shared the information with her parents, so she should help you out to correct the situation. Just stick to your guns on this one!
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Master June 2015
KTizzle · on April 2, 2014 at 10:03 AM
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So glad I'm starting early and have read many posts about this. I forget who, but someone had a line on her invitations that I loved and will be using! It went: "Respectfully only named guests are invited please." I may also use the "# of seats reserved" thing.
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Beginner May 2014
Madison · on April 2, 2014 at 10:17 AM
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@FutureMrsM yes, definitely do that! I SO wish I had! I've had people say they're bringing dates even though they weren't granted one and so many other little roadbumps because I didn't make it clear that only the name guests are invited. That's a great idea!
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Master August 2014
Nay · on April 2, 2014 at 10:22 AM
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What Kate said. That's a polite way of telling them.
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