People Inviting Themselves

I think people hear wedding and get super excited. I've come across it a couple times with people thinking we forgot to send them an invitation. It's weird.

How did you respond to the old roommate?

I'm a sucker and caved in when two friends asked about the status of their save-the-dates lol. I do not understand at all the logic especially when one is unsure as to whether s/he is even invited!

It's not awkward...it's rude on their part. Nip it in the bud

Hahaha... this happened to me for the first time this past weekend. We've only been officially engaged about two weeks now, but at my FH's work party, one of his coworkers accidentally invited herself to our wedding. She said something like "We just have to come to your wedding." I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she just moved here from another country, and she was really excited and nervous and I think she wanted to convey her congratulations that way. But I was on the spot and there was a weirdly long pause and both our eyes opened wide and she started to stammer an apology and I was trying to figure out what to say, something along the lines of "We haven't decided any wedding details yet. Still trying to enjoy our engagement." Oh, the awkwardness...

I just told her I was sorry, and that it was hard with so many good friends but we already chose our party. This lady is definitely not someone I was willing to budge on. I MAY budge on an invite but I told her we were still working on the guest list and it is hard with FH huge family. We'll see what happens!

I had a relative not only invite themselves and their child AFTER RSVPs were already due, but book a cross-country flight without even talking to me first! More annoying because we didn't invite her since we're holding a second reception back home for the extended family so they wouldn't have to travel. So now I'm worried that the rest of my extended family will ask me at the 2nd reception why they weren't invited to my wedding! Anyone have suggestions on how to respond to those relatives? I don't want to embarrass her by answering "Well, we actually didn't invite her" but I'm not sure how to respond without offending anyone.

Free food. Free booze. Dancing. I understand why people want wedding invites but it doesn't excuse the rudeness

@mataDC that sounds like a terrible predicament!! Hopefully no one will ask why they weren't invited and make it more uncomfortable! I would maybe just tell them there was a misunderstanding about the 2nd reception and quickly move the conversation along!

Yup. I don't understand why people do this

Bleh, yes. I had an old friend tell me TWICE not to forget to tell him when we got a wedding date so they could save it. His wife totally got it and was all "IF you're planning to invite us, he means, don't mean to assume!" We were close in college but we see each other once or twice a year now even though we're local, soooo...they were NOT on our 28 person guest list. I phrased my reply very carefully so as not to create any expectations.

I got my very first "Are we invited to your wedding?" via Facebook messenger... from the WIFE of a sailor that we used to work with. He moved away three years ago, hasn't been in touch, and we had met her only once while they were dating (so, yeah, not like it matters but they hadn't invited us to their wedding). My FH doesn't know much about weddings or wedding etiquette and when I told him about it he was like, "Who DOES that?!"

The worst.

I've had colleagues who I didn't even think about for our rough guest list say "can't wait for the wedding!" I just awkwardly smiled and kept the conversation going in the other direction. If it's said again, I will say we have to limit our guest list due to venue limit and budget. Our venue is max 210 people but that is way more than I want to invite, we are capping it at around 180. Ideally I want to weed it down to 150. But nobody needs to know that

That ended up happening to me. After a month of planning I changed my bridal party (big no no, I know) to siblings only. Turns out the 4 that had invited themselves into my wedding party originally ended up not even actually wanting to be in my wedding party and were gracious when I asked if it would be ok to not be in the wedding. 8 months later, we don't speak, not wedding related. It's so annoying. People want to be involved initially but save yourself the headache 8 months later when no-one shows up! Just "lol" it away !!

This has been happening since before we even got engaged. Earlier it was easy because I could just say "we don't know where our venue will be, we might decide to go somewhere small and just have imidiate family" and that was the end of it. Now that we have a venue and the date is getting closer it's harder to find a diplomatic way to say 'no'.

I totally feel your pain. Some people have no common sense and it's really unfortunate. We, too, are keeping wedding details off facebook as not everyone we are facebook friends with is invited. Luckily no one has posted anything about it yet but we haven't even sent the STDs.

I had a relative who I wasn't planning to invite tell my grandmother that she would definitely be able to travel out for my wedding. Um...what?!

I had a response all ready: "We are capped at 50 at both the ceremony and reception so I know you will understand and wish us well!" Then stop talking. People are so rude these days. Listen, please don't put me in an awkward spot.