Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Ashley
Dedicated September 2021

People assuming they're invited

Ashley, on March 15, 2021 at 10:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17
Saved
Reply
Hi all!

My FW and I enjoy posting about our wedding planning ventures on things like FB and Instagram, especially my FW because she loves photography and posting the pictures she takes. However we've noticed that when we do post, some people will comment in a way that suggests they're expecting to be invited. Examples are one of my FWs ex-coworkers who she's not particular close to and they haven't seen each other since she left that job five years ago, another is someone from our old Taekwondo class who we are friends with but not very close with.

Has anyone else had this happen? Especially now when we have to limit the number of people because of COVID, I feel like it's kind of rude to publicly assume that you'll be invited. How do you inform these people that they're not invited, or would you not address it at all and let them realize on they're own that they're not being invited?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Milada, on March 19, 2021 at 10:05 AM
  • Expert September 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I've had this exact situation happen to me with an ex-coworker as well. I honestly have just ignored it, mainly because if you don't even talk to this person anymore, they'll probably forget about it!

    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Devoted March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would let the lack of an invitation speak for itself.
    • Reply
  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would just let them realize they aren't invited, or if they do happen to ask you can just tell them because of covid that you have limited seats and unfortunately cannot invite everyone and leave it at that.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I had this happen too!! For some, we ignored it and let them figure it out. For others that made comments before we sent out invites, we replied with, "We haven't figured out our guest list yet." Once we did send out invites and people asked, we replied with, "Our venue has a very limited capacity, and we are bummed that we couldn't include everyone that we wanted to invite." We also had COVID as an excuse.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I'm just like your fiancé I love posting our engagement pictures and just little things about the wedding. I have gotten people who say things that imply they think they will be invited. I chose to just ignore the comments and go about my day. Personally I wouldn't acknowledge those comments. These people will eventually find out they didn't get an invitation. I've learned that unfortunately with wedding you will get at least one person who even though you and the person haven't seen each other in 10 years think they are invited and get upset when they realize that they didn't. It's crazy to me that people are like that, I would never think I'd be invited to someones wedding whom I clearly wasn't close with especially during covid.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My fiance a couple of years back was upset because he didn't get invited to this guy's wedding whom he was friends with but not really close. I say they were more like acquaintances than friends because they both had the same group of friends but they weren't particularly close with each other. I asked my fiance why he was upset, he said because they were friends, I asked if they talked every week or even hung out every week, he said no, and I told him then I don't understand why you are upset. He can't invite everyone he has ever come across to his wedding. I think though my fiance was just upset because everyone in his circle was at the wedding except him. But all the other guys are close with that guy.
    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My wedding was before the pandemic and even then people were assuming they were invited. Those kind of a part of the reason to why I never actually announced my engagement on social media because I didn’t want people assuming they were going to get invited
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The general pre Facebook policy has been to follow standard etiquette. One does not talk more than briefly about upcoming events in front of people not invited to them. You don't talk about the invitations, you don't talk about the menu, the vendors, all that, with those not invited. Therefore when you have pages open to 10-20-50 people, anyone allowed to read various limited pages would think they ARE invited if you have been allowing them to know about the details of your wedding planning. Facebook encourages people to post the private details of life on a bulletin board, with many private pages. This is a common thing for those who use social media wide open to those not invited: people who assume they are.
    • Reply
  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would just ignore it. We had a similar situation happen with us. These are usually the ppl that think they can bring their besties as a plus 1 n then rsvp yes n then half the time dont even end up showing up. You dont owe them any explanation but if they ask just blame it on covid.
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I wholeheartedly agree. There is no reason to post about your wedding planning on social media. It just comes off that you’re rubbing it in people’s faces who aren’t invited. Like I mean it’s fine she’s excited, but believe it or not people who you are not inviting to your wedding do not care about you planning your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Agree with this. Ignore the comments. Also have not experienced this nor known anyone else it happened to

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with this. I posted a picture from my shower, but otherwise have kept things private. I answer questions about my plans when asked, but I don't bring up events that people aren't invited to. I think it's poor ettiquete to post all about planning and event details online when you won't be able to invite everyone
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    With this then more than half the stuff people post shouldn't be on social media. Weddings, career goals, baby announcements, etc. If people don't care they can simply keep scrolling. And people who see it and assume they are invited will figure out eventually they didn't get invited. People get excited over big things happening in their life and if they want to post it there's nothing wrong with it.
    • Reply
  • N
    Expert June 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    It is absolutely absurd to me especially while in a pandemic when people’s default thought should be weddings have to be smaller and guest list more exclusive. After we got engaged in 2019 I haven’t posted a thing about our wedding or engagement just to avoid this. I will post our wedding pictures in the summer but nothing until we get married.
    • Reply
  • Afrangram
    Devoted April 2023
    Afrangram ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yes it's highly rude for people to expect or assume that they will be invited. It's happened to me and I simply tell them that we are having a very intimate wedding with a small guest count. Then I quickly change the subject. They pretty much get the hint.

    • Reply
  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It is definitely rude to assume you're invited. Personally I wouldn't address it with these people at all. They'll figure it out eventually... Although everything about Covid sucks, the plus side is you can use that as an excuse and it's legitimate!

    • Reply
  • Milada
    Super October 2021
    Milada ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I've had this happen quite often. I usually ignore it but I did reply to my ex-family member and remind her that we're not close enough for her to expect to be invited. The other people will just have to find out when they don't get an invite. Its so rude to expect to be invited to someone's event.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

6 Second Marriage Secrets to Successful (Re)Marital Bliss
Married Life 6 Second Marriage Secrets to Successful (Re)Marital Bliss Experts share their best advice for navigating a second marriage to ensure a...
6 Gut-Instinct Signs You're Marrying the Right Person
Married Life 6 Gut-Instinct Signs You're Marrying the Right Person Getting ready to walk down the aisle? Look for these signs to tell if you're...
What to Do If You're Feeling Alone in Your Marriage
Married Life What to Do If You're Feeling Alone in Your Marriage If you're feeling alone in your marriage, you're not, well, alone. Here, experts...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics