Heather
Savvy May 2021

People asking to invite people after i said no.

Heather, on March 28, 2021 at 11:19 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 37
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My brother wants to invite his biological dad. We are not related by blood. I said no. He’s asking me if his wife’s brother can come to wedding. I did no. Now he’s saying how much it would mean to his wife if I invited him. I just keep saying I can’t add anymore people to the wedding and that I want close family only. Anyone else dealing with this?

37 Comments

Latest activity by Star, on April 2, 2021 at 5:46 PM
  • Sharonda
    Rockstar January 2021
    Sharonda ·
    • Flag
    I didn’t have to deal with this, but I’m annoyed for you. You are doing the right thing — no means no. Stick to your guns! Your brother needs to understand this is not his event. If and when he has a wedding, he can invite anyone he wants, but since this is not his wedding, he only gets the invites you gave him — no need to ask about anyone else.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Put your foot down and say no. Then change the subject

    • Reply
  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
    • Flag
    “Our guest list is at capacity and we can’t add to it.” And leave it at that.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    No is a complete sentence! Don't let him keep nagging you. You don't owe him an explanation, it's your wedding and you set the guest list. "Sorry, no, we cant accommodate that, and I would appreciate if you would stop asking"
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    WHat in the world!? Dude!! your wife will be at the wedding with you, suck it up and stop asking if u can bring others!!!! 🙄🙄😳... just keep staying strong and say “no”
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I found with planning a wedding is that family always believes there is room somewhere, the will make it work, or the well not everyone you invite will show up so you will end up with plenty of room for these people. Also people tend to treat weddings like a reunion. It's absolutely annoying af. Just keep sticking to the no and don't give in.
    • Reply
  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    Ugh I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! It's very frustrating when other people demand/expect you to invite people they know because 'it will mean so much to them'. No is a complete sentence, and I would keep repeating that each time the question is asked. Don't give in whatsoever.

    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
    • Flag

    Ugh, I am so feeling this! So annoying! My mom went to a funeral yesterday and my mom's cousin, whom we have had no contact with and is not invited to the wedding, asked if he could "crash the wedding and sit at the bar"...?? What? No, there isn't bar seating and no you cannot crash a wedding. Seriously, people are really rude. I think you are correct to stick to your guest list. Nobody needs these extra people invited.

    • Reply
  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
    • Flag

    I'm not sure why his brother in-law would want to come since he doesn't have a close relationship with you and/or your partner. This is a thing I'll NEVER UNDERSTAND. I'm 99,99 % SURE HE DOESN'T EVEN want to come since " he’s saying how much it would mean to his wife if I invited him". What?? So your Sister in-law thinks you should accommodate her???

    I agree with Sharonda,Michelle,KiwiDerbyBride,Erin,Katie,Shelly,Jamie.

    2 people do get a say on this: you and your future spouse (assuming the two of you are paying for the whole event.) , with or without covid.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super August 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Yup. We cut our list from 150 to 55. My grandmother wanted me to give her spaces for 3 of her cousins and their spouses, I have never met any of them btw, and she hasn't even seen them in 10 to 15 years she just thinks it'll be fun to catch up. I've explained a bunch of times we don't have the spots to invite people we don't know, when there are people we do know that we would love to invite but simply can't. Then to add on to that 2 people on my fh's part of the list can't come so he invited 2 close friends in their place and she got mad that she can't invite her cousins but my fh can invite his friends. I'm like hello its his wedding 😂🤣😭.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Your brother sounds like he’s doing that thing siblings do - keep poking at you until you explode.
    Ignore him. Act as if you don’t hear the question. I bet he’a doing this to get a rise out of you.
    I really din’t see why his BIL would want to go to your wedding. He’s totally making that up.
    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Expert May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag

    These people are not related to you in any way. They're probably just looking for free food and drinks. You're absolutely right to put your foot down.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    The three I've heard most since starting planning my wedding are


    1) it's just one person, you seriously can't make room for one more person.
    2) Why can't you just send so and so an invite, it's not like they will come anyway, it would be a nice gesture.
    3) I don't understand why you can't invite this person you will end up having plenty of room, not all the guests you invited are going to come.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Time to sit down with this guy, and ask when was the last time he gave a dinner party, nice and given at home, or in a fancy restaurant. with at least an hour time more than a usual meal. Friend and family relationships are supposed to be reciprocal. He un doubtedly owes a meal to bio-dad, brother's wife's family, and the many amy people who have invited him over or out on the last 3 years
    But the puzzle is why you should repay his debts. He needs to get going, with his wife, and have their own special event.
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted October 2021
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Unfortunately, he will probably keep bothering you thinking that you would change your mind. But definitely keep your foot down. If it really bothers you that he keeps asking then it's time to have a conversation with him. It's about making YOU happy and not others happy lol.

    • Reply
  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I DO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE your reply:

    "I'm like hello its his wedding" 😀 😂 😁 👍

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Did he not invite them to his own wedding and regrets it? That makes me so annoyed for you! You did the right thing by saying no!

    • Reply
  • Monique
    Devoted June 2022
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    Yes I have people who found that I'm getting married and now wants to befriend me too come to my wedding. We have cut it down somen 50to65 ppl there alot of our families on both sides that wont be there. Some of the people that are asking dont know that we have to pay for those people and it costs
    • Reply
  • Monique
    Devoted June 2022
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Even when you get and say it that way people still try but I told them as well its alot and some dont bring no gifts like a gift card or hit our registry. If I had the money then some of them ok but we are celebrating our love
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah I think just keep repeating "No" and just ignore them if they keep nagging you. Theyre not being very fair to you
    • Reply

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