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Beginner September 2019

People adding guests to Rsvps

Maria, on July 28, 2019 at 9:52 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 9

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Never in my life did I think so many people would add uninvited guests to their RSVPs. So far we’ve had 5 people add uninvited people on their RSVPs (some adding MULTIPLE PEOPLE) when the envelope is clearly addressed to Mr and Mrs ____ and not the family. Or it clearly doesn’t say “and Guest”. My parents are paying for the reception and they don’t have the guts to tell any of these people no! I’m getting so fed up with it. It’s our wedding and I don’t want these other people there that weren’t invited in the first place. What did you guys do for this situation? Anyone else out there have your parents paying for it and they refuse to do or say anything to the rude guests adding other people to their RSVP? I’m about to lose it. Thanks! Lol

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on July 29, 2019 at 1:42 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 28, 2019 at 9:58 PM
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It’s not your parents job to say something. Reach out to them and say “we received your RSVP and we’re so glad you’ll be at the wedding to celebrate with us! Unfortunately, the invitation was intended for you/you and husband/whoever only and we’re unable to accommodate extra guests. We hope that you can still make it, but please let us know if this changes your RSVP.”
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Expert October 2019
Sara · on July 28, 2019 at 10:02 PM
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I would call up the people that added uninvited guests and explain the situation. Tell them you would loved to invite them but unfortunately there isn’t enough room and you carefully planned out the guest list. It’s your wedding and you shouldn’t be stressed out. My mother in law is basically paying for the whole wedding and I would feel bad that people would be adding to the guest list. I would stand up so she doesn’t have to.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on July 28, 2019 at 10:30 PM
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I agree with everyone else. Speak up now. That’s rude of them to do.
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VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on July 29, 2019 at 12:07 AM
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This.
I think if they insist I’d probably not be so nice and say “I’m sorry, but if we had intended for you to bring along a guest, or several, we would’ve left a space and named them. Since we didn’t they can’t come.” And be like ‘duhhh can you read? Oh you can well here’s a link on etiquette!’ Sorry my cranky side comin out! lol
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Devoted December 2021
Cristina · on July 29, 2019 at 2:07 AM
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I've never been in this situation, but when I was planning my first wedding( ended up eloping) my grandmother kept adding people to the guest list. My ex husband and I were the ones paying for the wedding so I finally had to have a talk with her. I told her unless she wad planning on paying for these people herself then we couldn't invite them since our guest list was already double what we could afford. I would definitely contact the guests who added people and explain things.
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Beginner September 2020
Dana · on July 29, 2019 at 2:23 AM
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I’m not dealing with that situation and don’t plan to when we get to that point, but geesh! My God-sister is dealing with it now!! My advice, sell tickets! Just kidding,but seriously, that’s inconsiderate. I’d say if they don’t call you and have a conversation as to who they’re adding and why,their plus people will be deleted and a follow up email or something will be sent.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on July 29, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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For sure you need to address it. The first response is a good wording to go about it. Some people just don't understand the costs of weddings these days whether they are older people who aren't up to date on costs or young friends who aren't married yet and think they can just bring so and so. I already asked FH what he's going to say if someone asks for a plus one or about their kids and he said he would ask me first and I said that's fine or you can just say "I am sorry we accounted for all the guests we can; the invites are intended for only who they are addressed to."
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 29, 2019 at 1:42 PM
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I almost lost it when that happened to me. What I ended up doing was letting it slide because I saw some people not use their RSVP so it canceled out but it's still rude, nonetheless
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 29, 2019 at 1:42 PM
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Plus one RSVP** and in general it evened out with my amount of no responses
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