Paying for Wedding talk

We picked a date (it was important to us or our plan would have gone differently because that date had us planning and paying for a wedding in less than seven months). I researched venues like crazy and we toured the one that gave us the most bang for our buck. We created a guest list to see how many people were going to be invited and estimated the cost based on that. Then we determined how much money we could realistically save within that time frame and if it would be feasible. It was feasible to save for it, so we moved forward with the planning. We were going to save for a bigger down payment to buy a new house but once we put that on the backburner until after the wedding. We can only save for one big expense at a time.

Girl, the struggle is real! I had NO idea how expensive weddings were. Maybe you & your SO could meet in the middle & only invite 100 guests instead of 250? Fewer guests is always the quickest way to lower a budget.

I don’t think it’s just a party. You’re inviting everyone you know for a once in a lifetime celebration of your marriage. I took out loans for my education, for my braces, for my car, the wedding was important to me as a major life event. I did not take out a loan for the wedding because I was able to save $500ish a month for 2 years and added to what my husband had it was enough. But I would have if I needed to. I would check the interest rate and make sure you can pay it back quickly because a personal loan or credit card can have high interest.

We are looking at $30k without a honeymoon. We are DIY centerpieces, no lush florals as that cost alone can be in the thousands. Know how much money you are willing to save, or take out of savings, but also make sure you have enough for unexpected costs. We got engaged, then our dog was injured with an expensive vet bill, both of our cars were due for oil changes with an unexpected $600 worth of work to his car, the outside hose lines exploded, and we needed to put some money into house project expenses that were already started.


We chose to have our wedding sooner because costs rise so much with the change in the year. But it totally is stressful. It adds up so quickly! Once you get quotes you weren't expecting to be so high it gets very overwhelming. But you can save on quite a few things once you start digging for them!

Hi hi. I hope I do not sound rude as I do not mean to but going into debt for a wedding has nothing to do with tradition just rather not adding financial stress your lives. Statistics say that a big reason some couples get divorced are those that had big weddings. I know my FH and I said we did not want to owe money regardless of what kind of ceremony we did. I personally am not sure if 15K is easily savable in the amount of time you listed. I do feel you can still have a big wedding without all the expenses which will mostly be the reception. Could you rent an event hall and cater out? Also, I hate to be a jerk but I could never fathom how anyone knows 250 people to attend their wedding lol. I am always floored when people would have so many at their wedding. Could you cut the guest list in half? I still feel 125 would be a large wedding and I think a happy compromise for you both. Do you want to spend that much on a wedding since you would rather have gone to Vegas? What is your ideal wedding?

It is so hard and stressful but so far we've managed to save $800/month since we got engaged in Sept. So we are starting month 6 of 12 on our goal for $10k by the wedding. I've chosen to drive my piece of sh$$ car one more year to make this happen. We are soooo fortunate that my parents are matching our amount - so we will have $20k which should cover everything remaining at time of wedding. Honestly I sweat/pray all the time bc if there's an emergency we are screwed, no other savings. It's so HARD - I definitely could not do it without the full support and shared goal with FH. Good luck!

Right now our budget is about 20k for 50-ish guests and a “destination” wedding near Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. I’ve tried to overestimate a lot of things (hopefully 🤞🏻) and I’m looking for a lot of ways to save money. We splurged on our venue, food, and photographer but I’m planning to save money in other places, like decorations/flowers, my dress, renting suits instead of buying, small cake, and using local vendors (we live in North Dakota) for things that don’t need to be purchased closer to our venue (I.e. invites). We even picked a weekday for our wedding instead of a weekend which saved us $2,000!

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We booked our venue/ceremony same place already $500. Catering we are doing BBQ so we found 2 places under $5k. I am doing a simple rustic wedding. I would rather go to flordia and do a small wedding and whoever can come can come but my FH wants the big wedding at home. Yes unfortunately we know more than 250 people and have been cutting. My parents on both side invited 75. His parents are divorced and his mom alone has 85 guest. She has 16 cousins is the big issue. I know i want to cut back on her side but How do you invite only half the family and not the rest and to take that up to her as ive already asked for a guest list. Our friends/bridal party/ work is 42 people and the rest are his dads family. We are already cuting out quit a bit of people out and get cutting more but we need to sit down and see who will help pay for what and if no one wants to help us out than we will forsure cut people.

I want to add that my cousin was able to have a HUGE (300-500) wedding for only like $12,000. But everything was DIY, set up by family, including the food. It was a lot of work from close friends and family...I was so tired lol so I avoided any DIY and I don't want to add stress to my family.
-Event hall for cheap (was a bingo hall) where we completely transformed it with round tables they had, put table cloth, uplighting, and a ceiling decor.
-Bought their own drinks, alcohol, and family cooked (this might be different, her in-laws had experience cooking a ton of food for a huge amount of guests and my dad has a walk in cooler so the food doesn't spoil, might wanna do catering)
-non-floral centerpiece.

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Yes - exactly! If they don't pay, they don't get a say, and they you get to decide who comes and how many people! The beauty of being a bride is that you can also change your mind as often as you need to. Also, your mom has given you a list, but that's not an invitation just yet - it's just a list. Just say, "I know I said you could invite 75 people, but we are on a strict budget and I'm gonna need you to reel that in to about 20" or whatever number you're comfy with. I'd start with figuring out how you're getting this money before you start planning on inviting everyone. Feelings will get hurt. It is what it is. I have a wedding of 50 people. It was CRAZY hard cutting people out but hopefully they're grown up enough to understand it wasn't personal - it was financial.

Are either of you able to pull in secondary income? I would not get a loan. If anything, and only if you absolutely know you will have the money in time, a no interest for "x" amount of time card may be helpful. I agree with a PP though, planning this without knowing where the money is going to come from is going to cause more stress than anything and with a new house that doesn't sound like a good idea. You and your fiance should have a sit down discussion about the logistics of this large of a wedding and how you can pay for it without causing more problems for yourselves.

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Ours is at a big theathers hall got an awesome deal $500. so we are doing ceremony and reception there. Catering found 2 under 5k. Hired a decorator for $700.. still in the budget im feeling really good with 250 guest at 15k. Determined plus I've had time to gather quotes and find deals.

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Yeah large families make it hard. Well if you do come to Florida I can recommend the bed and breakfast or other places lol. Oooooh a venue for $500 that is nice and food for $5000 is definitely doable. Yeah it is hard to cut some people without offending them. I hope you guys can still do everything and keep it within an affordable budget.

View Quoted Comment Good job! Wish I had the dedication to do all that lol

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This! 250 guests are a lot when you are doing a wedding on a budget.

Of our total budget, each set of parents paid 40%, my husband and I paid 15%, and my aunt, who gifted my dress, paid the remaining 5%.

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Did all the parents want to help? How did you address who pays for what? My parents want to help which is great. my FH has given me $100 which trust me nice but when she has the most guest list 85 people like what is that going to do? Also FH dad we asked him to pick up the bar tab and he was okay with it at first than realized it was going to cost 3k and he seemed like he wanted to back out... IM not sure how to ask or bring it up again but ive been asking my fiance if hes talked to him and nothing,,,,,,,,,

I am lucky enough to have supportive parents who are taking care of the reception (catering/bar/venue rental) so that's helping us keep the other costs in perspective.

As far as our part of the wedding bill, I've been putting away about $800 a month since we got engaged last summer but I'm completely aware not everyone is able to do that. We're also keeping things pretty simple, I'll probably be doing some fun DIY crafts, we're getting married at a place where both I and my mom have super duper connections, I'm getting my mom's wedding dress re-purposed so my dress will cost maybe $300, our theme is Hobbit/Bag End so decor will be easily found/purchased, etc.

I would definitely recommend taking a look at your life budget and see if you can put away $50-$100 as often as you're comfortable to start saving. Smaller amounts add up after a while!

My FH and I are footing the bill for our wedding. At first I thought we were going to stay at 15k, but if we don’t go over 20k I’ll be happy. We’re getting married in July and on a Friday so that’s saving us a lot of money. We haven’t picked it out, but our two venue choices that we have narrowed it down to come as an inclusive package. It seems to me that venues that have some sort of package attached to them are a better deal. I also agree with everyone else about taking out a loan. I think it’s an unnecessary stress.

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If they've made offers to help pay, then I think it is important to talk with them very specifically about what total amount they are thinking of and when the $ will be available to you. Depending on your parents, their financial situations, etc., I think these can be very delicate discussions. Unless you get crystal clear commitments (e.g., "here's a check for $5000, use it however you want to"), I think your best bet is to assume you aren't getting anything and then be pleasantly surprised if they in fact give you money/pay for things. I also understand large families, but just because they are all related does not mean they all have to be invited -- especially if you and FH are paying and are struggling to cover all the costs. That's just unreasonable in my mind. I'm one of 25 first cousins on just one side of my family, none of them were invited to daughter's wedding. Good luck figuring out how to balance all the different wants/needs -- it's tough!