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Liz
Dedicated August 2021

Paying for wedding party attire?

Liz, on September 9, 2020 at 12:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18
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I know traditionally if you invite someone into your wedding party they pay for the cost associated; i.e. dresses/tux etc. Paying for everyone would put us way over budget to pay for the entire wedding, but we're also feeling guilty. Considering out of our 11 person wedding party;


2 live 100% off social security and cannot afford to pay for their attire, and we really want them in the party so we know we will be taking on their expenses.


2 are our minor children so obviously we're paying for theirs.


4 will be coming in from 1200+ miles away and bringing a minimum of 2 additional people (Spouses and kids) and we feel really bad asking them to shell out even more money than what they're already paying out for travel, lodging, food etc.


2 could probably afford it if they could save up but they're FH adult children who are early 20's and just starting out in life and FH wants to pay for them because he's a Dad and wants to take care of them.


1 is local and financially well off to afford her own dress and has already said she would have no issue paying for her own.


Would it be bad form to pay for only some of the wedding parties attire? Anyone have any ideas of how else to do this to make it okay for everyone?




18 Comments

Latest activity by sophie, on September 15, 2020 at 7:20 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    The other option is to just choose attire that they may already have or can borrow ! For instance all I asked for my groomsmen was to have gray slacks and white dress shirt and I provided the ties and suspenders. Those are relatively easy to get and can be inexpensive or are things a lot of people may already have. And I let my bridesmaids choose whatever dress they wanted as long as it was pink - which means they got to decide how much $ to spend or already had a dress in their closet.
    For instance my bff is getting married and she let us choose our own dress as long as it was red and so I got mine for like $10 aha
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag

    Instead of doing something expensive like tuxedos, have you considered something less formal? I know its not ideal but maybe something more "casual" I guess if they can't afford it.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I would just honestly forego them having the same attire. I was once in a very budget friendly wedding and basically we were just told to wear black but we wore whatever dresses we want. I think if finances will be a struggle for you and them then maybe just give some guidelines like cocktail dress of a certain color.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated May 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Rent the Runway is a good option too!
    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Instead of picking something fancy, just have them wear a cute black dress they already own.
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Dedicated August 2021
    Liz ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    What is Rent the Runway?

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  • Liz
    Dedicated August 2021
    Liz ·
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    You didn't run in to issues with shades of colors not matching? This is something that we've talked about but were really worried about clashing colors. Our colors are Light Blue and Grey, so for the suits we were thinking gray suits with light blue for pocket square and shirt and dark blue tie.

    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    Closet shop and use what they have /like. For example do any of them have a little black dress that you could work with as a bm dress or were any of them in any previous weddings with a color palette you can work with.



    Option 2 yea, buy their dresses but buy for all if you do it for one (except the small children which that you are naturally expected to buy as the parents)

    Option 3 rent the dresses

    Option 4 go with affordable dresses.
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Dedicated August 2021
    Liz ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    What are your thoughts when you say casual? We were already leaning towards suits more than tuxedos is that what you were meaning? If it was something different I'd love to hear your ideas. Party planning is not my forte.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated May 2021
    Emily ·
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    You can rent gowns!
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Generally the gray pants looked pretty cohesive!! The pinks I was scared about but here’s a photo - it looked pretty cohesive overall!
    Paying for wedding party attire? 1
    Paying for wedding party attire? 2


    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    You could easily give them options. I would look into Azazie which is a popular online wedding website to get bridesmaids dresses. You could pick a specific color and let them decide on the style. They have dresses under $100. I wouldn't pay for some, but not others. Other options would be to look for dresses on Amazon, but I would be careful to read reviews.

    • Reply
  • Liz
    Dedicated August 2021
    Liz ·
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    Those look great! I can barely tell the difference in the pink.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Can you give them a little more freedom and just give a color & length, so they can get their own dresses & save money?

    • Reply
  • Liz
    Dedicated August 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    I'll add that 8 of the wedding party are wearing men's clothing only 3 will be in dresses. Dresses will be for our kids and the one that has no issue with paying for her own.


    Our only concern is that we say gray for the suit and we've got 8 different shades on grey that will clash with our colors.
    • Reply
  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    I'm paying for all of my sister's expenses (she's the MOH and still in grad school) other than airfare.

    The rest of the bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, as well as makeup and hair (which I made optional). I did offer to help two of the bridesmaids with any alterations costs.

    For the dresses themselves, I told them the only requirements were floor-length, navy, solid color (texture is fine, just no prints or anything). They all got different dresses from different places, so fingers crossed it still looks ok, lol!

    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I was thinking dress pants, dress shirt & tie or dress pants, dress shirt & suspenders if they’re low on funds. Something like these pictures Paying for wedding party attire? 3
    Paying for wedding party attire? 4


    • Reply
  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
    • Flag

    I would look into birdy grey for dresses- you can get matching ties there as well, and all dresses are under $100. they could be found secondhand if you're looking for them to be even more affordable. as for pants- as long as they don't clash, i don't think having different shades should be too much of an issue or too noticeable. if you're worried about it, you could spend a little time researching affordable options and find a specific pair you would like, and i guarantee that the tie and the pants both (i'm sure everyone has a white shirt) would be able to be less than $50. not sure if that's super helpful but i wish you the best!!!

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