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Beginner May 2019

Paying for wedding party accommodations?

Allison, on September 25, 2018 at 1:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
Hi everyone!

So so I recently started looking into what I want to pay for for our wedding party. We are having a destination wedding in the states and have rented a house for the wedding party and their significant others to stay in. The house has been rented from Wednesday through Monday for a Saturday weddding with other wedding events on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. We were going to cover a decent chunk of the house cost but I’m wondering now if we should be paying for more?

I hate the answer “if it’s in your budget” I just want to know what they normally would expect?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Allison, on September 25, 2018 at 9:23 PM
  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Have you already communicated with them about the house and what the plan was for payment? If so, I would tell your bridal party what the balance would be for each of them (or as a couple) and ask them if they are comfortable paying that. Its kind of odd to me to only pay part of it but, if you have already communicated that to them just let them know what they are each responsible for. If you haven't communicated that or if they think that you are handling it I'd pay it.

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  • A
    Beginner May 2019
    Allison ·
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    Everyone is expecting they would have to pay for their accommodations but they do not have a dollar amount yet.
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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    If I were attending a wedding I would expect to pay for my accommodation. If I could afford to pay I would tell you I couldn’t go! I think most guests would expect to pay the average price of a hotel etc in the area. You just have to let them know how much.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I've been in two weddings, my fiance has been in one. The two I've been in, neither covered our lodging. They were "lower" budget weddings ($5,000 and $20,000) so they couldn't afford it. The one my fiance was in cost more, and the groom's parents rented a large suite so all the single groomsmen could stay in it and not have to pay. But my fiance was a student at the time, with a VERY part time job so limited income and he already had paid for the flight, suit rental and bachelor party. At this time, we are not planning on paying for lodging for our wedding party. My fiance's father is paying for the rooms for four of my bridesmaids (because they are all 4 in my bridal party, so they are his daughters). But that's it. As time gets closer, we may try to pay for the groomsmen or bridesmaids with low income if they need help and we can afford it. But no, normally I don't think they would expect it.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Does your wedding party want to stay in the house...? Do you want to spend your wedding night with a whole bunch of people?


    FH is in a wedding this weekend. The couple asked us if we wanted to stay at their AirBNB with them since it would be cheaper than a hotel. We declined. We don't want to stay in a house with a bunch of other people. We opted to pay more and get a hotel instead.


    On our wedding night, we stayed up all night opening cards and laughing and reminiscing on the day. We loved being able to do whatever we wanted because we had the hotel suite to ourselves. I would keep this in mind!

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  • Kelly
    Legend October 2022
    Kelly ·
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    Hi Allison! I think it's so nice of you all to cover a decent chunk of the lodging! Most people assume that they are paying for their hotel/house, so I think it would be fine to give them what it would cost per couple to cover the rest! If paying for all of the lodging is something that you want to do, I'm sure they would all greatly appreciate it, but I don't think it's expected at all!

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  • S
    Devoted January 2019
    S ·
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    You generally don't pay for their accommodation. However, it is also not standard to book housing for a group without asking everyone in the group if they want to stay there and if they are okay with the price. I think that if you want them to pay (which is standard), you have to ask if they want to stay there rather than make it mandatory. For example, some people might prefer more privacy or might be on a budget and want to find a cheaper accommodation, in which case I don't think you can mandate that they stay with you and pay.

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  • A
    Beginner May 2019
    Allison ·
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    Hi everyone, thanks for all the input! We are having a destination wedding in a slightly remote place, there's no traditional hotels nearby (the only resort in the area runs $450+/night). We pre-planned and discussed with everyone about staying in a house together and we love the idea of celebrating with our closest friends for the weekend. We of course are not requiring them to stay with us.

    As far as cost goes, we were planning on covering a substantially larger chunk than everyone else would be paying but unfortunately we can't cover the entire cost of the house. We're going to give an option for two smaller rooms to be more cost effective and of course be willing to help anyone who can only afford a certain amount.

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