Paying for weddin party's travel expenses etiquette??

No. But it would be good to have an estimate of what it will cost for them to be there.

We rented a huge house for us to all stay in and people helped pay for it but we didn't ask. Everything else they paid for

I think that it's really nice and generous if you can afford it...but know that if you can't/choose not to that you have to be understanding if they can't afford to go. It would for sure be upsetting if they cant swing it, but not everyone can afford it.

My family (parents, myself, and two brothers) didn't get to go to my aunt and uncle's Disney wedding because my parents couldn't swing flying 5 of us to Florida and paying for a room at Disney.

I don't think so BUT I decided to not have a bridal party because my wedding is a destination wedding. I'd rather have my guests spend the money to attend then worry about all the other crap that goes with it.

I have been on both ends of this. Was in a BP for a destination wedding and we paid our own way to go. Now I'm technically having a destination wedding (since 95% of guests traveling to where we live in FL) and not offering to pay for expenses.

I did offer to pay for my brother's flight since he is going to be our officiant - basically doing this in lieu of compensation for the actual ceremony.

I was just in a wedding over the weekend and the bride didn't pay for my travel expenses. I didn't expect her to either. It was a DW for most people involved.

I don't think so. I definitely have never had any bride pay for me to be in their wedding and that includes dress and shoes. I've seen some brides are paying for attire as well as accommodations. Very nice but I don't think it's required. If it is I better start saving! HaHa!

We're going to be shipping one of our friends in from the other side of the country because if we didn't, he wouldn't be able to attend. And his wife. He's one of FH's very dearest friends and probably GP, so we can spend the $400 ... $800 ... to get them to come and stay a few days with FH's family for the wedding. It's money well spent.

But to say it's a nice gesture is something I'm kinda like.... ummmm.... Because it is SUPER SUPER nice. But, I feel like "nice gesture" on here is thrown around a lot with the double meaning of "if you can pay for it." But traveling expenses is NOT one of these. You NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER have to do it. Even if you have the money, you don't have to do it.

Every time I've been a bridesmaid (4x) it's been for an out of town wedding. No bride offered to cover travel expenses, and I wouldn't have expected or allowed them to! My friend who got married in Key West paid for our bridesmaid dresses and shoes, which I thought was really generous. But again, definitely not expected!

Thanks ladies!

Yes, agree with all of you in that:

- WP should know of expenses before agreeing to be part of the wedding.

- if one of them can't afford it, it should not be held against them. I think this goes without saying.

I was just wondering if etiquette called for it. I have been a bridesmaid twice, one DW, and travel expenses were not covered. I hadn't even heard of this as a requirement until this morning.

I had heard of bride/grooms doing covering expenses but had seen it as an extra.

That being said, we will be covering lodging for everyone but we are doing it as a token of appreciation, not because we thought it was required. These people were talking about paying for plane tickets, lodging, transportation, etc. for the entire bridal party.

If I had to spend that much money on a wedding, I'd end up at the court house. :-P

It is a nice gesture, but definitely not expected!

I say no and that's what I'm doing for my DW. When I asked they did know the cost of traveling. With 7 GM and 6 BMs, it would be impossible for us

Three of my BMs are from out of town (2+ hour car ride or airplane away), so I am paying for a suite for the night before so they don't have to pay for a room, but I'm not paying for flights. But I'm also in a wedding next summer out-of-state where I have to pay for my own room for the night before. Think it's a really nice gesture if you can budget it, but not required.

ETA words

Getting there is definitely part of the responsibility of the bridal party. All travel - flights, gas, hotels, whatever - is their responsibility.

I don't think so. My bridal party lives out of state and if I had to pay for them to get here, well I just wouldn't have a bridal party. I did let them know that they were welcome to stay with me so the cost of hotel was out. I am trying to help them in anyway possible! But with me chunking thousands of dollars in a wedding it's hard to help out too much. But they know roughly about how much it will cost to get here.

I think there's a bit of a difference in a true destination wedding and an out of state bridesmaid.

When I was an out of state MoH, I never imagined anyone would pay for my travel. (Well, that bride ended up not really wanting anything to do with her bridal party and only wanted her mom to do stuff before the wedding (and for bachelorette just wanted to go to Outback and got mad when we mentioned it to the waiter), but that's a whole nother story). Similarly I'm thinking about getting a house/suite for the night before the wedding, but my understanding is it's not expected etiquette wise but can be a nice gesture.

When I think of a Destination Wedding I think of a 4 day extravaganza in Mexico at an all-inclusive or a cruise wedding or a Disney wedding. Then I think it should be made clear from the get go who is paying for what.

I don't believe it is ever the bride and groom's responsibility to pay for the BP's travel or attire.

Wedding details (including cost/budget) should be discussed openly in the beginning so that the BP can make an informed decision.

I'm not paying for my BP to be here. I am paying for their clothing and accessories so they only have to cover travel expenses. I asked them knowing they might decline because they couldn't afford it, but I couldn't afford to bring them all out.

My cousin travelled home from America to Ireland to be my bridesmaid, her and her husband paid for their own flights and made a holiday of it. I did make sure that the rest of the wedding didn't cost them anything else though. We covered her accommodation and it's normal over this side of the Atlantic to pay for clothes,hair and makeup etc for the entire bridal party anyway though. I would imagine in your case it's up to you what you want to or can afford to cover. As long as the bridal party are aware of whatever commitment is needed beforehand it should be OK.