So my parents offered to pay a set amount towards our wedding, something we never asked for nor expected, but greatly appreciated. They said we can take the money and run (honeymoon, savings, etc.) or we can use it to have a wedding. With the budget I've made, their contribution will cover roughly 70% of the wedding; FH and I are covering the rest. I know there's really no such thing as "no strings attached" with money so I wasn't surprised when I received their guest list to be invited. I wasn't thrilled about most of them, but I talked to them about the very few that I did want to cut, and that was that.
Today I ended up on the phone with my dad over a friend of his that I don't want to invite. I used to work with this friend and he wasn't very nice to me, but he's one of my dad's "best friends". The guest list my parents provided is entirely people who hardly know me, including my moms side of the family that she just started contacting again for the first time in my life. My dad and I got into a huge argument where I explained that I understood I would have to invite their friends, but to have almost 1/3 of our guest list in that category makes me uncomfortable. I wanted a small, intimate wedding and while some people don't think 100 is a whole lot, it is to me, especially when such a large percentage of them are practically strangers. I'm a very shy person and I'm not comfortable sharing the most intimate and personal event of my life with so many people that hardly know me.
We went back and forth for about ten minutes. At one point he said "at least I'm not making you invite [insert name here]", one of my dads friends who sexually harassed me and my FMIL almost a year ago. I felt like that was an unfair thing for him to throw in my face just to make his point. We kept bickering and he finally said "you know what, do whatever you want, invite whoever you want, just remember who's fronting the bill for this whole thing" and he hung up on me.
I called FH in tears and he was livid. He wants to tell my parents they can keep their money and we'll pay for it ourselves. We can afford to do it, but we've made so many deposits that the wedding I've planned is more than I would've originally done if we had been paying for it all on our own. I'm also hesitant on doing this because I don't want to ruin my relationship with my parents. We also wouldn't be able to buy a house any time soon like we've planned to do if we had to front the rest of the bill for the wedding that we've already made deposits for.
This is mostly a rant, but I'm also open to any input/advice anyone may have. Thank you to those who took the time to read this, the stress is really starting to get to me today.
