Paying for it all

This is absolutely not your or your fiance's fault. Unfortunately things like this happen. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You guys need to be able to eat and focus on recovering from the debt and job loss. Weddings are not cheap and adding that stress won't be healthy for your budget or relationship.

What do you have paid for right now? Are you able to cancel those contracts and get some money back? Do you have anyone who would be willing and able to help?

Please push it back. Going into (more) debt for your wedding is a horrible idea, you will be paying off your wedding for years. I would call all your vendors and see what you can do.
Are you working? If you arent, get a job, even a crappy one. Will he be getting a job soon? You can transfer your current credit card balance to a 0% interest card, but they typically have to be paid off in 6 or 9 months or the interest is really high. But an option so you aren't accumulating interest currently.

We put the deposit on the dresses (plural, one reception, one ceremony), and the rest has really just been picked out but not decided. We are using minted.com for invitations but I'm afraid they will get rid of the design if we dont buy it. That's happened before. I really have my heart set on a venue that is all inclusive, including wedding cake, but we can't swing 15k right now. My parents are unable to help and his parents are so toxic they aren't even invited. They were willing to pitch in but I'm not willing to deal with their presence. They are really just awful people. I'm a teacher at a nonprofit so my income is negligible and he is unemployed so we have been living off of our savings and that is now gone.

No shame in putting the wedding off vs. throwing yourself even deeper into debt! That's the smart, responsible decision to make. You guys having a roof over your head and food on your table is more important than a wedding. Push it off until you're back on your feet and no longer forced to charge things like groceries. You can and will find a different invitation template that you love just as much in a year or two from now, and you can still book that venue that you love, in a year or two.

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I'd push the date back and talk to the places where you bought your dresses. Don't go to his parents for help, especially if they're toxic enough to not be invited in the first place. That'll only lead to disaster.

What design are your Minted invitations? Do you have a photo?

I would call vendors explain the situation and hope they will be understanding if dates need to shifted.

I hope everything turns around for you both very soon.

View Quoted Comment We are having an October 30th wedding and I didn't want to do Halloween themed, so subtly fall was the idea.

Life happens. You still are so far out, that pushing it back won't make a difference for guests. You definitely do not want to go into more debt by having this wedding, if that is the case.

I'm sorry this happened but, I would definitely put the wedding on hold until you are in a better financial position.

Your priority right now should be for FH to get a job and get back on his feet. You may also want to consider looking for a better paying job (or picking up a second job) since you mentioned above you don't make much. Once you are in a better situation you can work on paying off your debt and rebuilding your savings (at least 6 months' salary). Then you can consider saving (separate from your nest egg) for a wedding again.

Invites are the least of your worries, you will find a different design you like just as much or better when the time comes. Talk to the salon about the dresses, are they able to refund the deposit? See if they are willing to work with you in some way (maybe set up a payment plan) or sell it on consignment to recoup your expenses. Whatever you do, do not accept money from his parents, you will regret it!

Definitely push the wedding back and focus on you two getting back on your feet. Honestly this is why programs like EBT were made. I know it's a hard hit at pride but you may want to consider applying for food stamps until he can get a job and you guys get back on your feet because the debt is only going to pile up if your expenses are higher than your income.

I agree with pp's about putting a hard stop on everything -- especially financial commitments related to the wedding/reception you've been planning. If I understand correctly, the only current financial obligation you have is regarding the wedding dresses. As suggested, I'd talk with the salon and see what your options are. Can the order be cancelled/deposit returned? What, if anything more, will you owe if you cancel and they do not return your deposit? How much will it cost, and when will the money be due, if you want to go ahead and purchase the dresses? Then you can decide what your best option is, based on what you can realistically afford, even if it means forfeiting your deposit and cancelling the order.

Until you can regain your financial footing, I agree you don't really know when the formal wedding/reception you want will be, so while the invitations are pretty, I wouldn't worry about that.

What steps can you and fiance take to get your financial situation under control (extra part-time jobs, selling stuff you don't need, etc.)? Do everything you can to get back on track. (If you need practical suggestions and help, the Dave Ramsey resources [copies of his books are available for free in your public library] can provide ideas about how to move forward.)

Finally, while this has to be scary, and its disappointing to have to put off your current wedding plans, working together as partners to overcome this could well be a wonderful experience for you and fiance. We've been married 30+ years, and while there have been plenty of hardships along the way, meeting each of them as partners has made us stronger. Also, there are lots of different ways to get married. If you and FH want to be married, you can have an immediate, inexpensive elopement in a courthouse, and then once you recover financially, you can make plans for a vow renewal and reception. You don't have to put off the wedding for financial reasons, just the big party. Good luck to you!

I would decide what is more important to you- a wedding, or getting married. If it's getting married, I would go ahead and do a simple ceremony and not worry about the reception. You could throw one in five or ten years if you really want to, but no obligation.

If you want a wedding, there's no shame in pushing things off. It's much better than going into debt for a party.

Ok. Wedding has been postponed for another year. Hoping that will help get our finances in check.

Hang in there! My husband had two job layoffs in the year before our wedding. I know how stressful it is! We already had our savings for the wedding so we didn’t have to push it back, but we scaled back and it was still beautiful. Good luck!

See if you can pick up another job in the mean time. Serving and bartending is quick money.....

also you can try for a loan too

but if you are in a situation where you cant pay your monthly bills. Push back the wedding. It’s no big deal Rent and water is more important lol