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Deborah
Just Said Yes April 2024

Paying for bridesmaid/groomsmen clothes

Deborah, on June 8, 2023 at 3:09 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 36
Hi! I was curious as to do the bride and groom pay for their bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits? Could I have the girls buy their cowboy boots and I buy their dresses. And for the guys we tell them what they need to order and provide one thing we pay for. Just not sure how any of this works. Lol

36 Comments

Latest activity by Alexia, on June 18, 2023 at 5:07 AM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    If it's in your budget to pay for the wedding party attire, then I think it would be a kind gesture to do so! Otherwise, I think it's totally fine to ask them to cover their own attire. In every wedding that I've been a bridesmaid in, I paid for my own dress and shoes that the bride picked out. If you are going to ask them to pay for something to wear for your wedding, make sure you check in with them on what each of their budgets are, and choose attire that's within the lowest budget. In response to your idea, I think it's totally reasonable for you to pay for the bridesmaids dresses, and ask them to pay for their boots!
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    It’s totally fine to ask them to pay. However, if you do that I think it’s the most polite thing to do to let your bridesmaids pick their own dresses so they can buy something they can afford. And then to make sure you’re picking reasonably priced suits as well
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  • Deborah
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Deborah ·
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    All of the dresses for the color at the website were using or about $80. So I think that is affordable. The guys are wearing cowboy boots, dark jeans and suit coats. Should we pay for their jackets and jeans or I don’t know how to do the guys…
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  • C
    CM ·
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    It depends where you live. In the US the wedding party traditionally pays for their own attire, but that was only ever supposed to include the dress or outfit, not footwear, jewelry, accessories etc. The reasoning is that while you have some say, you would properly have consulted in terms of budget and style for a dress they could keep and potentially wear again. You can suggest a color or color range for footwear at most but IMO it is not appropriate for you to dictate cowboy boots and certainly not to expect your bridesmaids to pay for them.

    In other parts of the world, for example the UK the couple typically pays for attire. That's always made more sense to me, especially since so many brides think it's OK to impose their wishes 100%.

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  • Deborah
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Deborah ·
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    The style of their dress is not an issue for me. Because I want them all to have a style dress that they like. The color is set as well as the website that they have to purchase it from. The boots is a bigger issue for me because I want them to all be the same color brown. Especially because the color of the leather between brands and models are so different. As is the color of jeans from brand to brand. I do not want in pictures for them to look all different colors only because already their dresses are all different. I do not want the mismatch look in pictures. Does that make sense??
    I think what I’ll do is when I have a one on one meeting with each one of them, I will give them the option of us, paying for the dress/jacket/jeans or us paying for the boots.
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  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Stacey ·
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    I’ve been a bridesmaid in 4 weddings and had to pay for my own dress, hair, makeup. I have my wedding coming up and my bridesmaids will be paying for theirs
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  • Deborah
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Deborah ·
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    If a certain shoe was a requirement did you have to buy them?
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  • S
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Stacey ·
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    Yes, there certain heels that we had to get. Just be careful it’s not too expensive.
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  • Janet
    Expert October 2018
    Janet ·
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    Do they wear cowboy boots? Speaking for myself, I would not purchase these for a wedding. I would never wear them again. I don't like the look and feel of cowboy boots and that's just a personal preference. They have way more options with he dresses as far as what style they wear and these boots can be expensive depending on which ones you pick. I would rather you purchase the shoes.

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  • K
    Super September 2023
    Kimberly ·
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    I think it’s kind of you to cover some of the attire costs since not everyone does that. Keeping that in mind, it’s fine for you to select something they need to buy, but as others have said, try to be mindful of their budgets. In terms of the boots and dictating what shoes people wear, realistically speaking some bridesmaid dresses make that irrelevant because you can’t really see people’s shoes if they’re floor length. If they are, I wouldn’t worry about that for the photos. If they’re wearing knee length or tea length dresses and wanting them to wear boots for a cowgirl theme, that makes more sense why you would want to have them in the same shoe. So again, just pick something that fits their budgets. We had our girls get their own dresses that I collaborated with them on picking, and then for shoes I got them a gift card from DSW for Christmas and said if you want to use this to get new shoes for the wedding, I hope this helps. If you already have a pair you like, use this to treat yourself. They ended up getting new matching shoes (and asked me first what color even though I didn’t care). For the guys, we’re having them get their own shirts and pants (which is so much cheaper than women’s’ clothes and so much more suitable for repeat wear), and then gifting them accessories. We’re not doing full suits for them because of the heat, but if we did we just would have done suit rental and asked them to get their own.
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  • Deborah
    Just Said Yes April 2024
    Deborah ·
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    We are all horse people. I think we all have at least 3-6 pairs. We all Live on farms. The only one who doesn’t is my Matron of honor.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    If you can afford it, paying for their attire is a wonderful gesture (after all, it’s attire that you are choosing for your event). If it’s not in the budget, I would probably suggest doing the opposite – let them pay for a dress of their choosing (so hopefully they can wear it again; and if not, at least they feel confident in what they’re wearing), and you pay for the cowboy boots. I know boots can get quite expensive, and if they don’t already own them I am assuming these are not items they are going to wear again. I definitely wouldn’t ask my wedding party to purchase expensive items that they will only wear once to my event.
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  • LM
    Expert December 2022
    LM ·
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    I would pay for the more expensive of the two, which most likely are the boots. If you are unable, I suggest a longer dress where footwear is not visible and does not have to match. Keep in mind, if you will have optional parties like a bridal shower and bachelorette, your WP will be paying for that as well.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    If you're requiring specific footwear, I think you should be covering the cost of that. Usually the wedding party only pays for the cost of dress/suit wear.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    Outside of the US, it is expected for the bride to cover all expenses of being a bridesmaid, including but not limited to attire and hair/makeup. In the US, the expenses are/should be shared with the potential bridesmaids before they are asked to participate so that they can make an informed decision whether they want to be a bridesmaid or a regular guest. If they decide to be one, they cover their own costs of dress, hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry/accessories. There is also a belief that jewelry is an appropriate thank you gift, but it is also expected to be worn on the wedding day and often not in a style that is representative of each individual, so it becomes a prop for pictures. If there is anything that is required for a specific look: a specific dress, specific shoes, specific hairstyle or makeup look, those are paid for by the bride.



    There is also a very current new trend of the couple covering all costs for guests and attendants, including but not limited to all bridesmaids’ expenses including guests’ lodgings and travel, even if that means passing on other costs to guests or cutting out guests that they would like to invite to have a second or more celebration. All of this costs more money in the end than giving bridesmaids and groomsmen an estimated budget and giving them the trust and free rein to follow that as previous generations have done with zero issues. This trend is one of the many things that celebrity influencers have changed in the wedding industry for the worse. It sends the message that if you don’t follow this and their other unattainable goals that do not align with etiquette, courtesy and logic, then you have no business getting married and you cannot afford it if you can’t cover all expenses for 25-100+ guests. That is very toxic and it needs to disappear because that is what makes people hate planning weddings. And if someone says it’s not expected to cover those expenses, they are told they are lying and archaic.
    Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for everything themselves or they decline the position and attend as guests. Please do not go into debt paying for things that are not your responsibility.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    Regardless of what you may have seen on social media etc. it's inappropriate to require a specific shoe or boot or to ask your bridal party to pay for this. At most you might suggest a shoe that most women might own or wear again that would go well with the dress. Shoes are a very personal fit and an individual thing. If you wanted something to tie the group together it sounds like you already have it in the color of the dress.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    Unless the dresses are short, no one will see or care about the shoes. If a guest does see them, they will notice for .001 seconds before moving on to the next detail. Not everyone finds the same shoes comfortable. Some people can not wear heels, others are not comfortable in flats, some people require wide sizes.


    If something is a requirement, it is the responsibility of the bride who is requiring the item to pay for them. Beyond that, it is the bridesmaids’ responsibility.
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  • Danielle
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Danielle ·
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    Traditionally bride pays for bridesmaids and groom lays for groomsmen but it’s not uncommon to ask the bridal party to contribute a portion or percentage of the cost of the attire especially if it’s not rented but something purchased they can keep after.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    Where do you live? Though I wish it was, that’s not true in the US, either traditionally or now. Wedding party has always been responsible to pay for their own attire, most properly in consultation with the couple with respect to budget and style.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    But you want to ask them all to buy a new pair of matching color boots. Seems a waste and an imposition when most of them already have boots at home they like, own, and wear. This logic would only make sense if you were saying they already own these boots.
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