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Beginner October 2022

Paying for attire/hair & makeup etiquette

Morgan, on January 23, 2021 at 1:05 AM Posted in Hair and Makeup 0 12
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Okay so we’re on a pretty tight budget. We have 5 groomsmen and 5 bridesmaids who we plan on making sure they’re willing to rent/pay for their attire before accepting the invitation to be in the wedding party. I don’t really care about hair and makeup (as long as they don’t look like slobs) but I saw somewhere that one bride offered to pay for her bridesmaids to get either their hair or their makeup done (the one they don’t choose they’d have to do themselves or pay for it themselves) I don’t know if I’m being a stingy asshole or what. What did you do or plan on doing? Help!!


Latest activity by Michelle, on January 26, 2021 at 3:38 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Bridesmaids pay for their own unless you require a specific look. In that case you pay.
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey Online ·
    • Flag
    If you aren’t requiring them to have a specific, cohesive look, then you are under no obligation to pay for hair & makeup. I would offer them the option in case they want to pamper themselves (in which case they would pay for it themselves), otherwise they also can either do their own hair/makeup or choose their own stylist and get ready offsite.
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I will be paying for my BM’s and my mom’s hair and makeup. However, that is not required. It’s just something I wanted to do for my girls. I know a lot of brides on here will not be paying for HMUA for their wedding parties.
    You definitely should pay for the services if you are requiring them, however.
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag
    I paid for my bridesmaids’ hair and makeup even though I was not requiring any specific look (each bridesmaid was free to choose any look or hairstyle she wanted) because this is customary in my social circle. Out of the 8 weddings I’ve been a bridesmaid in, the bride has covered the cost of my hair and makeup every time and there was no cohesive look going on. That being said, I had a rather upscale wedding and a sizable budget to work with. It is perfectly acceptable not to cover the cost of your bridesmaids’ hair and makeup as long as you’re not requiring that they get these services done. That certainly does not make you stingy! In your case, I would tell your bridesmaids that getting hair and makeup done is 100% optional. This takes you off the hook for having to pay.
    • Reply
  • Jay
    Dedicated September 2021
    Jay ·
    • Flag
    I’m having this exact debate right now, & may end up posting about it, haha! I didn’t plan on requiring anything because I may not even do professional makeup or hair for myself (I refuse to wear foundation, don’t like eyeliner, & have short curly hair that many hairdressers have messed up in the past, so I’m not sure what I would be paying for). But I also have one wedding party member who has expressed discomfort about doing her own makeup for something with professional photos (& she regularly wears a full face due to skin issues). I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable! I spoke with a friend who got married two years ago who required both, & she paid for one service for each person, so I may explore that option when I eventually reach out to HMUAs. I live in a hugely high cost of living area & I’m seeing over $1000 (sometimes close to $2000) for hair & makeup for 6 women (3 wedding party, me, 2 moms), which is insane to me.

    I’m also toying with the idea of going to a salon instead of having the HMUA come to us, which would make it easier for me to NOT pay because then there wouldn’t be minimums & I would feel more fine telling people they didn’t have to have either done...but then that introduces some timing & logistics concerns.
    Have you looked into beauty schools, hair or makeup artist friends (who could give a discount or as a gift), or new businesses?
    Attire seems a bit easier—I’m having them pay. They can keep attire, sell it, rewear it, cut it up, whatever. I’m also trying to keep their attire costs down by not requiring a certain shoe or certain accessories (I will request the same color shoe, gold or silver jewelry, & neutral nails).
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    So I already got married and for our wedding I made hair and makeup optional. Therefore each girl could decide on their own what if any services they wanted. I did pay for our two flower girls' (husband's two nieces) hair and makeup since their mom wanted it done and my husband didn't feel right asking his brother-in-law and his wife to pay for their services since they were already driving about 10 hours with four kids to our wedding.

    • Reply
  • Biaani
    Expert May 2021
    Biaani ·
    • Flag

    You are absolutely fine. When I've been a bridesmaid I paid for all my stuff which felt normal. My bridesmaids are paying for all their stuff. They're all really good at doing they're hair so they'll just do it that day. But I am getting a MUA and they'll be paying for that.

    • Reply
  • B
    Super July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    My ladies purchased their own attire (I gave them a color and several dresses I liked, and they picked from there, I asked for nude shoes - but no specific style, and told them to wear whatever jewelry made them happy) and I made hair and makeup optional - they all chose to pay to have theirs done. The guys rented their own suits and purchased suspenders (because we preferred them to a belt) but we gave them the option to wear whatever black shoes they wanted (only one of the guys rented shoes) - they were gifted Stance brand Disney stocks (from MIL).

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I’ve only been in one wedding where the bride paid for everyone’s hair - it was her gift to the bridesmaids. I was fully expecting, and willing, to pay for myself, so it was a nice surprise.

    All other weddings we paid for our own hair/makeup, and everyone was totally cool with that.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Rockstar November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never been in a wedding where the bride has paid for my hair and makeup or my dress, so I always go into it expecting to pay for those things myself. I even turned down being in a wedding because it was too soon and too close to another wedding I had already agreed to and I knew I couldn’t swing it all. So it’s not a necessity for you to pay for their things, some people do it as part of their gift.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    Expert May 2022
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I purchased my bridesmaids dresses, but hair and makeup can be up to them. I trust all of them enough to look decent on my wedding day.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Devoted April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I am paying for everyone's in the bridal parties hair and make up as my gift to them and because i want everyone to look their very best. I don't think this is the normal standard in weddings unless the bride wants a specific look.

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