Pastor Pushing Us to Elope

I'm Catholic and living in sin. Have been for years and now we are financially ready to get married. We bought our house first, actually. I wouldn't let anyone, even your pastor, pressure you. I get the guilt of "living in sin"... I even had a sibling suggest I move out of my home until we are married. It is a hard balance to make your own decisions that may be sinful but still live a faithful life. If you want a big wedding and not an elopement, you can have that. If you want to elope, do that. If you want to move out, do it. Just sit down with your boyfriend and figure out what you both want, pray about it and see how you feel. I feel your pain and pressure. Good luck!

Honestly, I would go to a different church/pastor if that is how they are making you feel. Do things in your time.

Dear Lord (pun intended)!

Wedding or no wedding, living in sin or not living in sin (LOL).... we should all just be the most kind, loving, helpful person that we are capable of.... and I think we and God will be just fine!

This particular pastor sounds very judgmental to me. Don't elope if you're not comfortable because it's a huge decision!

I doubt my opinion will matter much in this one, but I have to agree with Allie here. No one should make you feel guilty for living a life that doesn't hurt anyone. Being happy isn't a sin! I hope you both find a way to have the wedding you want without pressure from others that aren't in your relationship.

I'm not sure what denomination you are but I'm Pentecostal. My church reprimands those who are members for stepping out of the faith. FH and I have chosen not to live together, have sex, etc until marriage not because of what our church has told us to do but because we attend a church that already aligns with our own beliefs.

My question here would be, do you feel pressured just because of what your pastor says or is it because your lifestyle conflicts with YOUR OWN beliefs? If it is because you feel conflicted in your own beliefs (even though you don't drink, etc etc) that you may need to take a step back and decide if a period of physical separation from your fiance is what could resolve your inner conflicts. For example, living together but not sleeping together. Usually we respond in such a way to our pastor's guidance not because they're wrong or old fashioned but because somewhere in us we agree with them and know we could be doing better.

If it doesn't conflict with your own beliefs I suggest you find a new church and surround your spiritual life in a faith that is supportive of you.

Don't let them pressure you. You and your BF need to be a united front on this point - I hope he stands up for you. I'm not even clear on what they're suggesting - a civil ceremony, followed by a church wedding in the distant future? How is that better? Regardless, it's your choice.

Also, if they give you grief, I'd just point out... they don't know what's going on in the privacy of your own home. And it's really inappropriate and intrusive of them to assume.