Pastor getting married

If you invite them to the ceremony you need to invite them to the reception. Can you accommodate that?

I really don't think there's enough room. we're having the ceremony and reception at the same location.

Then there's your answer.

Yep. There's your answer

What if you had an informal celebration one day after the wedding after the services? Make it clear you do not wish to receive gifts so it doesn't look like you're throwing a party to get free stuff, and provide pizza or sandwiches to celebrate in the church hall.

I've been a pastor in a church situation for years. What is typically done is this; the entire congregation is invited, informally, to the ceremony in your church. Then you do cake and punch at the church, then your family and friends go to a reception elsewhere, afterwards. This is very, very common, and it's not considered a tiered reception.

I would really shy away from inviting some of the congregation to a formal ceremony elsewhere and reception, and I wouldn't do a second party either.

Boundary issues within church communities can be very problematic. These people, sorta, are his coworkers. They are not your family, and in no universe would I invite any of my congregation to my wedding beyond my senior pastor. And I doubt that anyone in his congregation would find it incomprehensible that you are having a family party with your relatives and friends.

He needs to get this. He is not their friend; he is their pastor. There is a power imbalance there that needs to be respected. These people are not his social group. He is a leader and that makes all the difference in the world.

The first paragraph of CM post is my suggestion.

I'm an associate minister at my church and 1 of the Pastors got married recently. The church wasnt invited but the church hosted a nice refreshments social for them. They did invite people they were close to to their actual wedding and ceremony. As far as I know no one felt any kind of way. And the church is 350 active members l. Who can host all of those people plus your personal guest

Celia's response was a much more eloquent and informed version of my opinion

Have an open wedding and a closed reception. When the ceremony is finished and they go out while pictures or taken then it becomes reception by invite only. And as they have said small cake and punch in the lobby if you so choose for the guests who aren't staying

Alana that's a tiered wedding and it's rude AF.

I know Lindsey but I've seen it done before.

Just because you've seen it done doesn't mean you should suggest that others do it. It's tacky.

In her situation I've seen it done and I can assure you no one in the ceremony I went to saw it as tacky. But I'm sure etiquette wise it would be tacky but it worked for the people who did it. Tacky or not. Would it work on this situation who knows but again what's tacky to you may not be tacky to everyone else. Shrugs

Also it was an opinion as others have issued theirs

Good thing etiquette isn't an opinion.