Party after "just us" wedding

You should not throw a potluck wedding reception. If you want to celebrate with your family you should host them.

Just tell them. This says "casual family get-together, potluck dinner" which lots of families do every weekend.

If you send out an invitation, it's a reception. Which makes you the host, which makes a potluck no longer acceptable.

You should provide the food for a reception but I don't see anything wrong with just firing up the grill and keeping it casual. I've attended a reception like that for a couple who had a destination wedding with just immediate family.

Is anyone planning to host a shower for you? The majority here will probably disagree with me and say that shouldn't be pot luck either but I think the pot luck and recipe card idea would be cute for a shower.

You could order pizza and a cake for your family when you get back and have a small get together at your home. It wouldn't break your bank and you'd still be hosting. :p

I second @FutureMrsR's suggestion!

I think the potluck/ newlywed recipe book idea is pretty great actually. But I agree, the invitation is probably not the best idea. Maybe word of mouth or email? Perhaps you could update it to your WW website? This could also be a way to get your mom and MIL involved.

You could send an E-vite? Since it is a casual occasion I don't see the need to send our formal invites. I also don't agree with others saying you should host them. I think in this case its a great idea for your family to do!

I would have no problem with the potluck idea if I was invited. Even with a invitation sent. I imagine if you mentioned the idea of a sent invite making the potluck idea unacceptable to most anyone you wanted to invite they would probably not have any idea what you were talking about and probably wouldn't care.

You know what your friends and family are comfortable with, plan your event according to what works for you and yours. Everyone is different.

There is no nice way to say, "Host the party we're throwing that's honoring us". None.

Sure, asking for recipes is quaint and acceptable. Asking for food to host your wedding reception following your private wedding is neither -- even if you assume that nobody will have a problem with it because everyone invited is immediate whomever.

If you are having a reception days or weeks (or minutes) after a wedding, do the right thing. Cater it. If you only have a budget to do a few six foot subs or some trays from the grocery store deli, do the right thing and cater it. If you can only afford some cool desserts, champagne, and punch, pay for it yourselves and don't expect your guests to show up, celebrate, and host an event you want to have in your own honor. If they want to have a reception in your honor, you'll be the people who are invited, not the people sending the invitations. Please, don't ask anyone to attend a party that celebrates something that has nothing to do with anyone but the two of you and ask them to host it. Take it back to grade school -- would you bring your child to a birthday party of his/her peer with a birthday cake, a tray of cupcakes, three bags of chips, goody bags, and a gift -- or would you say, "What?".

Your guests will be bringing gifts; they shouldn't be asked to host your event. Whether or not they'll have a problem with it isn't relevant because it shouldn't even be an issue. The fact that you even have to say they won't have a problem with it means the question will be lingering in the air.

Have your private wedding and a nice meal after it. If you want a bigger celebration after you get home, host your guests. Please. Why doesn't this make perfect sense?

Pass on the potluck

Sqwiggy! Mine, too!

I say don't call it a reception, because that really isn't one. You can just have a get together, but it would be unrelated to your wedding!

EWW SWIGGY!!!! lol

ETA: Holly if she does that than why bother having it? she wants a party to celebrate her wedding but doesn't want to pay for it. lol.

It's not that I don't want to pay for it, its that we have limited funds right now. I will also be providing some food. I just thought it would be more fun to have more dishes from others that make some good food as well. Also, my family has no problem with this. That isn't the issue. I was wanting to know if I should send out invites or just tell them. Thanks to the ones that answered the question!