Partner's Input

Sit down and have a conversation. Work out a compromise you are both comfortable with. It’s not one person getting married and the other is a guest. It gets practice in for post-wedding situations when you will have to compromise on issues that affect your lives moving forward, not just a one day event.

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Thank you for the advice. We do have great communication. Whenever we make a suggestion or have an issue we both try to compromise for one another. I did speak with FH last night about the wedding party that he wants to expand, and turns out he was thinking of me. He thought I would have wanted a bigger wedding party since this is my first and his second. He wanted me to have the shabang, a engagement party, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party and all that stuff. Glad we did talk about that, because even though I would want a big bridal party I do not want to deal with the headache of all my friends getting especially when I have friends of all types.

If my husband asked for something I tried to give it to him since he asked for so little and gave little input on anything. He asked for gold envelopes and I turned that down because gold was not even close to one of our colors. I didn’t realize how important that was to him. That was 3+ years ago and he’d still complain that He didn’t get gold envelopes.
I say if it’s something he wants and fits in budget then let him have it. If he’s ok with increasing the budget to fit more guests, and you have to funds to increase the budget (and you have space in the venue). Then, add the guests.

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Aww how cute lol We never realized how long men can really hold onto things. Thank you for sharing. You have given me something to think about it. Plus maybe he wants his side to get bigger since he didn't get what he wanted the first time around.

Sorry ahead of time for the long reply, I'm overly chatty 🤭.

My groom to-be is VERY involved, he loves to chat and make plans about the wedding day and planning, just as much as I do.

He has a 50% say on everything, I even requested his input on my future dress (I want to buy one we will both love, it's even more important to me than buying "the one" if he doesn't love it).

I wouldn't have wanted to plan anything, had he told me he wasn't interested in planning, to be honest. In this situation, I would have planned an elopement, a courthouse or a city hall ceremony.

Especially after we decided to pay for 100% and decline all parents offers to help pay ( and the VERY BIG big strings attached that would have come with their money, of course... and that means that the 2 of us are involved in the planning but no one else, maybe we will ask our parents to help with the seating chart but that's it). Fortunately, we're on the same page when it comes to the "vision": the vibe, the ceremony style and structure, the level of formality, the guest count... so it'll make the planning easier.

We are 14 months out so we didn't plan much so far, but he often comes with suggestions, ideas and I consider them. I think I'll take the lead since I am more organized but I'll give him whatever he requests, as long as his wants don't clash with mine.

The only big requeste he made so far: he doesn't want us to invite people who haven't met BOTH of us, including the SOs , he hates the idea of introducing people to us on the day of. So the guests have to introduce them to us before the RSVP deadline , even via the internet for the out-of towners.

And I know he will back me up when it's needed. He already said 2-3 firm NO to his parents and step-parents requests that clash with our or my wants.

Maybe this is just my relationship, my fiancé rarely asks for anything from me ... so when he does, I feel compelled to say "Yes!" immediately. He's also a logical guy, so I try to believe he has a logical reason for all his requests. If I don't understand it, I'll ask questions and talk about it.

In your case, it totally makes sense for you to question adding more people to the wedding party and making sure your FH understands the costs that come with that. If he's saying it's okay - if I was you, just my opinion - I would trust him and go ahead with what he wants. Unless it's something you feel very strongly against, in which case you just gotta have a larger conversation about it - ask him how he plans to pay for the extra costs that come with adding to the wedding party.

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The cost to add 6 more people to the wedding party wouldn't be an issues. I have spoke to him about it adding to budget just to let him know, but he is fine with that.

I ask my fiance CONSTANTLY about his input. He always says the same thing: "If that's what you want, go with it." I still ask him though because sometimes he does put his 2 cents in and I'm like YES! FINALLY!!

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I know the feeling.