Parents won’t be attending wedding

It's so sad how your mom doesn't want anything to do with your sister's kids! I would try not to lose sleep over this because it seems like your mom would bring a lot of negativity. Plus, she's an adult who can make her own decisions on whether or not to attend. I hope everything turns out okay!

View Quoted Comment Whoops it’s my child... she talks crap to my sister about my son and not wanting to be a grandma. Yea she does bring a lot. I’m sorta just in shock still that this is happening

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That is so awful of your mom to say, I am so sorry. Honestly, if it were me, I would tell her she doesn't need to be a grandma and wouldn't take my kid around her anymore. The day before my bridal shower, I went MOB dress shopping with my mom, and she said something about having to go to my "stupid shower tomorrow." I told her it was insanely hurtful and if she thought it was so stupid, she didn't need to bother coming. She apologized for it but it still hurt and I was tired of her making comments like that. I would just call her out on it and tell her that you'll miss them at the wedding. They will regret not going for the rest of their lives. They're adults and need to grow up, but they get to make their own decisions. It is on them, not on you. You don't have to live with that burden.

My friend's mom didn't go to his and then afterwards she kind of acts like he never got married. But yea like Pp said, you want people supportive in your life to be there.

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I completely agree with this. It's hurtful and disappointing, but it sounds like you're better off without them there and your child is better off without "grandparents" like that in his life.

That is so petty of her. I am so sorry. If she doesn't want to be a grandma, she doesn't have to be there for the kids. It's such an outrageous thing to say. Sounds like the wedding will be better without her.

WOW very petty of them, I would be so hurt, but at that point of time, it wouldn't be worth mulling over, because I know I'l have plenty other people in attendance at my wedding who truly care and love me and my FH. I don't know why some parents choose to be like this, it's really upsetting. I've been having issues with my dad, so I know the pains, but wow they really went there! UGH, I'm sooo sorry....

Mine won't as they are not part of our lives because of how they behave. I do not allow negative people around my children. You really need to think about maybe not having a relationship with her. It's not good for you or your child.

This breaks my heart. My son has such a bond with my parents and FH parents I couldn't imagine them not having it. I'd say you're better off without them honestly. I'm so sorry!

I would cut my mom out of my life completely if she didn't want anything to do with my kids and spoke about them in a negative way to anyone. Good riddance. She sounds like a terrible person.

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I second this, my FMIL is such a negative person and then she wonders why I don't like seeing her or wanting her around my home. Like she is just WOW.... So I agree with what you're saying. It's an innate feeling to protect your children, and I have 2 daughters... so it's like whenever I feel negative energy from certain people (no matter who it is) I stay away until they know how to act, apologize and make things right. No one is going to bully me when it comes to my kids.

My husband’s mom didn’t come to our wedding, also because of petty bitterness... he was initially worried he’d be upset about it, but on the day-of, he really wasn’t. He said he just felt grateful for the people who were there for us. On your wedding day you’re so surrounded by so many people who love you that it’s easy to just let yourself fill with that emotion, rather than to dwell on the people who aren’t there.

Im so sorry you’re dealing with that though it’s their loss to miss their own daughters wedding!

Wow. I'm stunned! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I became a grandma two years ago. Although I wasn't happy at first; my daughter was in an abusive relationship with the baby's father, and they were both using drugs; it turned out to be the greatest thing that ever happened to me! My daughter got clean, ditched the guy, and had a beautiful baby girl. She brings me so much joy, I can't imagine my life without her!! It's good that you told your mom the truth about your feelings, even if she didn't like it. It must have been really hard for you to do that. But the others are right, you can only control you, and your actions/reactions. I wouldn't let anyone around my child who talked that way. I'm sorry your parents think this is acceptable behavior. You and your son are better off without that negativity in your lives. It's really sad that they are so wrapped up in themselves that they would miss their daughter's wedding. They will regret it someday. But you should concentrate on the ones who will be there for you, for your FH, and for your family!! Good luck.

Thank you everyone! I really needed this! At first I second guessed myself but then again I was being honest. I am protecting my child. If you don’t want to be around my child let me know. And it’s whatever. But to seriously say that you won’t come to my wedding because of how I feel that’s a load of crap. I still don’t even have my answer which is dumb. I don’t start stuff with my family ever, but I will stand by my child, and my dad said there are consequences for your actions. I’m not a child anymore. Jeez

View Quoted Comment Thank you! That’s exactly how i feel. And them not coming is them trying to make me feel bad for what I said. I will stand by what I said. Truth hurts... we could have talked about it and fixed it or made a solutions but they went to the extreme. And if you don’t want to come then don’t come. I’ll have people there that want to be there. That’s what I have to keep in mind.

I did not invite my dad to my wedding. I haven't lost a bit of sleep yet but I can guarantee one thing, he will not be stressing me out on my wedding day!

I'm sorry you're going through this! I think it'll be tough but you'll make it through. I'm lucky enough that when I had a baby my parents were all over it even though my sister has 5! I think if that's how she feels and however you feel towards it is obviosly not in agreeance, maybe it's best they aren't there. Sorry again!

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You definitely don't need this stress. It is really sad that your mom doesn't want anything to do with your son. It is sad that she doesn't want to be a grandma. You do need supportive people around you.

My FH family is extremely toxic! Like I won’t even get into stories. He has cut contact with everyone but his brother. Now, his moms always saying he should have a relationship since they do get along and his brother isn’t as toxic. So we invited him and his girlfriend to be apart of the wedding party and they were so excited up until it came up that their mom and sis weren’t invited. The sister they understand but the new girlfriend doesn’t really understand what their mom is truly like ( the first 3 years we lived together at his mom and his was traumatizing, she called the cops on me before we moved out demanding I be arrested for slandering her name) ...that ended in the cops getting nasty with her for being dramatic and making them come out for drama I didn’t start. But his brother is a mamas boy and moved out long ago. She has tracked us down a few times but has acted as tho the cops were never called and never said sorry. This was a constant issue because we were the ones always getting blamed. My FH was adopted ito a failing marriage in order to save it and that did not happen. His adopted dad left by age 2. None the less his brother had his girl friend tell us that WE put them in a tough spot because they understand the sis but not the mom and how she’s such a wonderful mom and person and how my FH really needs to rethink his decision. So I ask if his brother still wants an invite and he says yes but hasn’t even talked to us once since then. I highly doubt they will show and if they don’t talk to us or try to get together they aren’t being invited. His girl and 2 kids make 4 spots that’s almost $400 that I’m not gonna set aside for someone who may not even come. It’s painful, his mom is always getting better gifts for her kids and blood grandchildren. There’s no pics of my FH or step sons on her walls but ones of all her blood family. She expects to be invited without even trying to offer a penny to help with the wedding. My mom is paying for it and she’s a single mother, who has helped my FH more then his own mom. Sometimes we have to accept that people don’t agree with our decision and that makes them ignorant. My FH doesn’t hold the fact that his brother talks to his mom and sis against him so why do it back when you say you want him in your life so bad!? If people like that cared, it wouldn’t be a issue, when they are always in denial and refuse to say their wrongs and they cause you pain... it’s okay if they aren’t apart of your life or major events. The people that do love you will be there and in the end it’s your parents who will be sorry. My FH mom did a lot of damage to him as well as his ex. I broke his walls down but it took 5 years. We are so much happier with out having to deal with that stuff and after awhile I’ve learned once we try to let them in, drama happens ( brother acting like a butt because mom won’t be there) if mom wants to be there so bad, being the wedding party gives you access to photos you can share with her and until his brother acted like this we offered a dvd if she payed for the extra copy. But there’s no compromise. We are bad for not inviting his mom when we have good reason not to! Do what’s best for you because I promise you won’t regret it in the end!

View Quoted Comment My FH family isn’t our life either. When I met him he was afraid to tell me how insane they were. So he told me to tread carefully and me coming from a strong family didn’t realize how crazy. I have almost never seen anything like it. My FH isn’t blood and was adopted when his mom found out his dad was cheating. He was meant to save the family but added more stress because his dad left by age 2. Then she had 3 kids and no money. His sister is 37, she lived with her 3 kids in one bedroom at her moms. Her oldest got pregnant at 16 just like her mom and moved out. His sister still lives at his moms and she’s living in a one bedroom as a felon, who doesn’t wanna work, has no money, no driver license or anything. The amount of drama they caused was insane. We moved out shortly after she called the cops on me because of a post on Facebook that had nothing to do with her and she tried to have me thrown out and told the cops I was slandering her name. The cops were very unhappy with her and unhappy his sister who used to study law before she became a felon insisting that the law says I was slandering their mothers name. If the tree is green and they say purple, then it’s purple and that’s it. Needless to say, we have been so happy with them completely out of our lives! It’s been rough with the wedding. So many questions, so many having to explain that they are just too toxic for our wellbeing and lots of comments on people’s opinions on how we only get one mom... unless you have truly been there and have had to cut your family off, you don’t understand how damaging it truly is.