Parents Under the Chuppah?

We are having our parents stand just outside the Chuppah. I think we are going to be higher!

Hi Crystal! I'm a wedding planner, and Jewish, and this comes up more often than you'd guess. I think the best way to go about doing it is just being polite, but firm and saying "it really will bother me to not be able to have both my parents under the chuppah, so to keep myself from being reminded and getting too emotional, we will be having the parents sit in the front row" and just keep repeating that whenever she brings it up. We didn't have our parents up there either, because DH and I didn't want it. MIL wasn't thrilled but she finally gave up the fight.

No, a chuppah is meant to symbolize hospitality, and open sided tent, and the welcome to everyone. I'd rethink this, honestly. I'm all about couples expressing themselves through their ceremony, but certain ethnic traditions need to be respected. This is one of them.

Thanks Nikki but I've told her this already. I also asked her to be on one side of me and guide me (along with my mom's best friend on the other side) when I do the seven circles. I got a thanks but that's not enough reply. I really do like my FMIL and FH and I are totally on the same page but this is getting to be too much for us.

@ Celia I hear what you are saying but I would rather get married in a courthouse than have my father and FFIL in chairs under the chuppah and my FMIL making demands about what should be important to us. The chuppah has many symbolic features and this is how we both feel. At the end of the day it's our wedding.

Well, it's not really your wedding, though I love that thought. It's the wedding of you and all your family.

When stuff like this gets too heated, I actually do recommend a private ceremony (with me or without me), but weddings that are 'all about the couple" usually have 10 guests. that might not be a bad thing to consider.....

I'm not trying to be a pest, but it's not all about you two. It CAN be, but not once you start inviting family and friends.

I've never been to a Jewish wedding where the parents stood under the chuppah. To be fair, only one of them was an Orthodox wedding, but with one parent being disabled and another being deceased, the couple opted out of having parents standing up there.

I'm estranged from my father, and there are a lot of things about our wedding that make me very sad because I don't really have two parents. Because of that situation, my partner and I are working to de-emphasize "PARENT" and emphasize "FAMILY." And honestly ... you wouldn't expect your ENTIRE family under the chuppah for the ceremony.

Hi. My finance and I are getting married in 2015. I'm Jewish she's not. My dad and step mom say it's tradition to stand under the chuppah. Honestly I don't feel comfortable with it and my fiance supports that. I understand it's tradition but my fiance and I are far from traditional and want this to be including the traditions were comfortable with. My thought is with weddings and planning you are gonna try to make as many people happy as you can but ultimately you need to stay true to yourself and your traditions and thoughts.

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I'm having the same dilemma! My family is Jewish and my fiancé's is Catholic so we want a non-denominational ceremony. On top of it, his parents are divorced and each have a new partner, and my mother passed away almost 10 years ago so my dad also has a new partner.

My dad has brought up this idea of having a chuppah and having all the "parents" stand under it, even though I've stressed we're having neither a Jewish nor a Catholic ceremony. I like the idea of honouring your parents, but my mom won't be there which is hard enough as it is. I really don't want my stepmom standing in my mom's place, and I think it would get complicated to have 6 "parent" figures up there. My dad seems to think it's an important tradition.

I haven't been to all that many Jewish weddings, but I've been to lots of non-Jewish weddings so I'm used to the parents sitting in the first row. I actually didn't know this was a thing. Help!