Parents Opinions & Hiring a dj

If your father is paying for most of the wedding costs, then I suggest you all sit down and talk things out. Is there a specific price that he wants the photography cost to be under? If you found a photographer who is above that price, is he will to pay the amount he is comfortable with, and you and your fiance cover the rest of the costs for that photographer? The photos will be great memories from the day, so I would suggest hiring the photographer you think is the best fit. As for the DJ, is he willing to pay for the DJ if he insists on you hiring one? If so, maybe let him send you a list of DJs that he would be OK with, and you and your fiance pick one from the list?

I completely understand where you’re coming from, and I agree with you- having a playlist and Bluetooth speakers for this type of event would probably work just fine. However, if your father is paying for it, and is very adamant that you have a DJ, then I would just have the DJ. I mean, why not?! Then you wouldn’t have to worry about procuring Bluetooth speakers that fit your needs, or worry about issues with Wi-Fi or connectivity issues, or it being loud enough, or assigning someone to be in charge of it. With a DJ, they bring all their own equipment, man it all night long, and do all their own set up and teardown. Plus, at all the weddings I’ve been to that have had children, I have found the kids absolutely love the DJ! The little ones will probably be up there dancing- which not only keeps them entertained, but also entertain guests watching them, because let’s face it, little kids dancing is hilarious & adorable! 😆 If someone else is paying for it, I would 100% go with it!

As far as the photography goes, I would ask your father what he feels is a reasonable amount to pay for photography, and then you and your spouse pay the difference. That way you are still getting the photographer you want, but at a much cheaper price.

That's difficult! i totally see what you mean because a dj doesn't sound necessary but it seems like if he wants to and is paying for it then it's kinda like ok fine whatever aha. but i think you do have to put your foot down for the photographer because you want your memories captured nicely.

I would just go ahead and get the DJ and then y’all pay for whatever he thinks is too much for a photographer. You knows but the difference.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! You're absolutely right!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Chrysta! We are paying the difference for our photographer but you're right maybe we should just go for it.

If he is paying for most of the wedding there is not much you can do. Often money comes with strings. If you want more say then I would thank him for his offer to help pay, but you will be paying for it on your own.

You will have your wedding photos the rest of your life so try to get the best that you can afford. If you aren't really big on dancing, go with a Spotify playlist. Lots of weddings skip dancing so you are fine either way.
There's nothing in the Bible that bans dancing, encourages it actually. But that's a topic for another discussion.

That said, who is paying for what at the wedding? If he is footing the bill, then it's out of your hands unless you have money to cover what he won't. If you are paying for everything and he is not, it's not his decision to make. Best of luck.

Tell him the money saved for a DJ will cover the Photographer you'd rather have instead.

I can see what you mean however if your father is paying for most of the wedding then I'd just get the dj. That's kind of what you deal with when you have others pay for your big day. My parents are paying for my cake and my fiance wants a small 2 teir cake and sheet cakes to pass out to the guests however my parents want us to have a big extravagant cake so I told him either we get the cake they want us to get seeing as they are paying for it or we tell them that we would prefer to pay. And seeing as my fiance would prefer my parents to pay for the cake he decided to just keep his mouth shut about it. They are letting us pick how it looks and tastes but they are picking how big they want it. It's the price you pay for having some pay for your wedding.

So I thought the same thing about the DJ. However when I first spoke to mine I was sold. So many things I didn’t think about literally the DJ helps run your night so you don’t have to think or do anything. They will provide mics and speakers for the ceremony. Play the songs you want during that so nobody has to try and do that during and everyone can just enjoy being there. Then for the reception, they help with announcements, letting people know when it’s time for dinner, speeches, and in your case when it’s time for everyone to go down to the lake. It’s more than just playing music. So if your dad is paying for it I’d let him. It’ll only help make your night go smoother.


As for the photographer, IMO it’s a must! You definitely want to make sure you have beautiful, good quality photos of your big day. You would be disappointed if you didn’t. Again, if he’s paying for it I wouldn’t push back on that either. Also, since you aren’t having a traditional reception it won’t cost as much as it would for others since the amount of time you’d need them for will be less
Now if he’s not paying for those things, then I can see your concern. I would suggest sitting down and talking with him about it. However if he is, or at least is paying for a good part of it I would do it because it’ll only make things better and more enjoyable for you

The DJ is a easier concept to shut down. We didn't have a DJ at our wedding but we had a stringed duo. A string duo that plays classical /jazz / modern soft pop songs is actually cheaper than a DJ so this is option A. Option b would be a Vitamin strings playlist. But what you have to say is, Dad, I really appreciate your input but I don't want a DJ on my big day.


Photography, ask what he thinks it should cost and pay the difference. Photography is an unbelievable arm and leg for a good one. I went cheap on my wedding photos and it shows on some. There are some really good shots that I am having trouble fixing. There have also been some people on here that had to redo photography after getting theirs back because it was so bad.... But don't skimp on the photographer....

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This! Both of Chrysta's responses here are, as usual, 100% on point and eloquently stated!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Sarah! The announcement part of things is what pushed me toward it. My FH is just not crazy about the idea...at all. which is now a new situation. Who knew planning would be this much work?!

View Quoted Comment Oh my goodness, I hear ya! I am HATING this planning process. We are trying so hard to keep it the way we want it, but somehow other people have convinced us to do things a different way, or at a certain standard that really isn’t us. It’s like this is OUR day and nobody else’s it should be how we want it. No questions asked