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Kerri
Expert April 2015

Parents not meeting before wedding

Kerri, on June 6, 2014 at 3:53 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 40

I was wondering if any of you are in the same boat as me. My FH and I live in San Diego. His parents are in northern Minnesota and mine are in Florida. Our wedding is next April, and at this point it's looking like there may not be a way for them to meet each other before the week of the wedding. My mom seems stressed about this for some reason, but I can't imagine we are the only ones who have families in completely different places. Has anyone else dealt with this?

40 Comments

Latest activity by Leah, on January 16, 2022 at 2:52 PM
  • Kasheena
    Super October 2014
    Kasheena ·
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    Our parents probably won't meet before our wedding either. Don't worry, everything will be fine. Even if they hate each other, you are still getting married;-)

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  • Emily
    Super October 2021
    Emily ·
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    Our parents will only have met one time (for just a couple of hours) before the wedding. I think this happens a lot, with families so spread out across the country these days.

    As Erin said, why do they need to meet in advance anyway? It's NBD, really.

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  • Brady
    Expert May 2014
    Brady ·
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    Our parents met the Thursday before our Saturday wedding. We hosted a "meet and greet" in our hotel room and had some bottles of wine and snacks. We introduced them and let them mingle for a half an hour or so and then invited all the other out of town people up there (we had a big room). It was a nice ice breaker and they didn't feel super obligated to have deep conversations.

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  • Mrs Rueckert
    Expert November 2014
    Mrs Rueckert ·
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    Our families won't meet ahead of time either.. actually, I have only skyped with FMIL. It doesn't bother me or FH. He has been in the military for 10 years so he hasn't been around his family that much because they are in different states.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Can you do a google hang/face time/OOvOO/skype call with them?

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  • L
    VIP September 2014
    LSC_sf ·
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    Ours haven't met in person and did through Skype very briefly right after we got engaged. The first time they meet in person will be at the wedding and I'm fine with that!

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  • Kerri
    Expert April 2015
    Kerri ·
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    Thanks everyone! I didn't think it was that big of a deal either, but my mom is seriously stressing about it! She brings it up all of the time. Brady- I was thinking of doing something similar. It's a DW, so on Thursday night I figured the six of us could just spend some time together then.

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  • DisneyNut
    Master October 2014
    DisneyNut ·
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    My parents haven't met his mother yet. It's all good.

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  • T&J
    Devoted June 2014
    T&J ·
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    I'm parents and FH will be meeting each other for the first time on our wedding day next week! The will meet about 1.5 hours before the ceremony starts.

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  • Tracy
    VIP February 2015
    Tracy ·
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    Our families won't meet until a day or two before the wedding. Since FH's family lives in Hawaii and my family lives in CA, they probably won't see each other again after that. I'm guessing it'll be the same with your family. Not sure why your mom is stressing.

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  • Emma
    Master October 2024
    Emma ·
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    Wow, this would stress me out as a bride ... this would seriously bother me ..... but that might just be because I am SUPER family-oriented. My parents have been with his 5 times at this point. Anyway, I get why your mom is stressed, she probably wants to have a closer relationship with them.

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  • Rebecca
    Super July 2014
    Rebecca ·
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    Are parents will not meet until the day before the wedding. With two sets of divorced parents spread out across 4 states it is hard to get everyone in one location. My mom is stressed out about it too because she thinks my FHs family is well off and they will not have anything in common. My family does not make much money and they love outdoor sports/traveling (camping while traveling) which is the complete opposite of my FHs family.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Even if the only thing they have in common is you, it's going to be just fine. I've done many weddings where the parents didn't meet until the rehearsal dinner (with or without a rehearsal, 'cause you know how I feel about them....)

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  • Jesse's Boo
    Super July 2014
    Jesse's Boo ·
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    Mine won't meet until rehearsal dinner. It'll be ok...you have a lifetime for them to meet.

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  • Kaegurl
    Master June 2014
    Kaegurl ·
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    They don't have to meet. All of our parents live in the same state and won't meet till the rehearsal dinner. My mom did meet his stepmother at my shower, but that was it. We honestly don't see any need for them to meet - we're getting married whether they get along or not. FH's mom wants to meet my parents, but given her history we don't see that happening nor do we care if my parents meet his mom.

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  • Bethany
    Devoted June 2014
    Bethany ·
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    Ours won't meet till the Thursday before the wedding...but they have chatted over email about the wedding!

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  • Mrs. A & J
    Master December 2014
    Mrs. A & J ·
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    My parents have been in CA and NM while we've been in Texas (with FHs parents). My mom has met his mom once...and it wasn't awesome haha. I don't think it's a big deal.

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  • N
    Super June 2014
    Nicole ·
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    We're all in the same town and our parents have only met a handful of times. nothing to stress about. just focus on you and your FH that week and let them do the awkward stuff lol

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  • mscountry
    Master July 2014
    mscountry ·
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    Our parents won't meet until a couple days before the wedding. Mine are in TN and FH's are in TX. I know pretty much everyone will get along but maybe my dad he is not a people person.

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  • Kerri
    Expert April 2015
    Kerri ·
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    I'm so glad to know that this is regular occurrence. I'm not even worried about them getting along...I think they will all get along really well!! I'm glad that I can now tell my mom with confidence that she should stop worrying about it because it's very common. Thanks for all of your input!

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