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Just Said Yes July 2016

Parents meeting for first time after recent engagement

rosie, on August 21, 2015 at 11:07 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Hello. I am recently engaged and we are having our families meet for the first time. We planned a lunch at a restaurant for our parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews.

The problem is that my fiancée's brother invited his new girlfriend without asking us. I met her once and she has met my fiancée's family briefly a few weeks ago, now she is coming to our "meeting of the families". A little background about the brother: He went through a terrible divorce 2 years ago, he has 3 young kids, he just met this new girlfriend about 3 months ago, and she lives in Canada. We are in NJ. Also, this lunch is happening at his brother's restaurant, which I was against in the first place, as I wanted it in a neutral place. I feel it is not the time and place to have this girl introduced his and my family. It is about my parents meeting my fiancée's family. Am I wrong for being really annoyed and not wanting his girlfriend there?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by AthenaKay, on August 21, 2015 at 11:40 AM

Master June 2015
AthenaKay · on August 21, 2015 at 11:12 AM
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It's probably not as big of an issue as you're making it out to be. It's not like the meeting is going to be focused on her. It's about you, your FH, and the families.
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Super June 2016
Tara · on August 21, 2015 at 11:14 AM
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Yeah, kinda. If you wanted it to be about meeting the parents you shouldn't have invited all your siblings.
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Master September 2014
LadyMonk · on August 21, 2015 at 11:16 AM
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It's ok to be annoyed, but I agree it won't be as big of an issue as you think. I also am wondering why you're also having all of the siblings come as well. I think just have the parents and you two would have been best.
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Master November 2014
Theresa Beale · on August 21, 2015 at 11:29 AM
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I am actually going to disagree with the majority here, I think its okay for the "whole" family to be included and in your case I would be annoyed that your FBIL is inviting his girlfriend. This is about family, why can't he introduce her to his parents and family before the lunch or after?

Maybe I am a little more sympathetic with your situation because I was in a similar situation. When DH and I got engaged only his mother had met my family and the members of the wedding party (my "side" vs. groom's "side") didn't know one another. I would have had an informal BBQ or small gathering but didn't have enough room at our apartment. I had a meet and greet at our local zoo and invited our parents, siblings and all the member of the wedding party. DH's grandmother even flew in from Ohio for the party (which was a very pleasant surprise as she was the only family member I hadn't yet met). Of course both DH and I each only have 1 sibling so it wasn't as much of a large family but it was a great time and everyone enjoyed themselves.
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Master April 2016
Ostrich · on August 21, 2015 at 11:34 AM
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I think you're worrying too much. It sounds like he's old enough that this relationship could be very serious, and this isn't them "meeting" her, as you've said they already have met her, and so have you. I'm kind of confused why you expect him to come, but can't bring someone he's close with, especially if she's visiting for the weekend. He's just supposed to ditch her? Would you rather neither of them be there?
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Master June 2015
AthenaKay · on August 21, 2015 at 11:40 AM
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Inviting all the siblings is a good point. If you really wanted it to be a focus on your parents and in-laws, you shouldn't have invited siblings. Don't sweat the small stuff. You will have plenty of other stressful things to deal with through out the wedding planning process.
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