Parents Gifts

I was the MOB. We paid for about 80% of daughter & SIL's wedding and his dad paid about 15%, his mom didn't contribute financially (and she lives out of state, so there wasn't really much involvement in any way). They gave each of us a small token gift (very customized cufflinks for the dads and embroidered handkerchiefs for the moms [mine was embroidered with something I've said to daughter all her life, so it was highly personalized]) and then each of them wrote each of us parents a very personal note/card. I will treasure my cards for the rest of my life -- especially the one from SIL. The kids met in HS and his family is kind of a mess (good people, but super dysfunctional), so he spent a LOT of time with us over the years. At the time of the wedding, he'd really been part of our family for about 8 years. In his note, he did an awesome job of making sure I understood what I mean to him. FOB's cards were similarly sweet and personal. We have no idea what they wrote in their notes to his parents, but for us, they couldn't have given us anything better if they'd spent $1000s of dollars.... Good luck figuring out what would be meaningful to your parents!

We're doing a small gift for all the parents for the day of the wedding. Mine have paid for our entire wedding so the plan is to do something big for them in the future as a thank you when we have the monetary means to. I think if you chose to do gifts for just those that have contributed I would do it in private rather than in front of everyone. You could also include a thank you in speeches something along the lines of them making this day possible

It is not traditional to give parents gifts at wedding time, except after the wedding when photos or videos are in. Get parents gifts on their birthdays, their anniversary, Mother's or Father's Day, and any seasonal or religious holiday. It is not proper etiquette to give a gift as a thank you for a gift. If parents helped financially, write a really nice thank you note. If one or more performed some over the top service for you, cooked the wedding meal, addressed all your invitations, some thing like that a small gift and a thank you note are great
If one or 2 parents or attendants did more for you, significantly more, you may give them a larger gift than other parents or BM, but give the gifts in private. Beyond BM and GM gifts for being in the wedding, one individual gift near wedding time, all of the many gifts people recommend for proposals, getting ready, at parties, to parents, these are all recent add ons by the wedding industry, promoted on reality tv, and Online, but none are traditional, or necessary. It is a trap. A couple can easily find themselves shopping for 25-60 gifts. All recent add ons. Ridiculous. And selecting and purchasing them takes a lot of time and energy better spent planning something that matters.

I also don’t understand the whole gift giving to everyone on the day of YOUR wedding. weddings are getting sooo much more expensive with all this extra stuff! Which I find unnecessary. I’m sure people aren’t expecting gifts to be honest. Again, i understand wanting to thank them for their help though!

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Honestly, I don't get it either but I've had so many people tell me its rude and whatever else to not so I just went with it. Still don't know what to get for either set of parents tho...probably just a framed picture. It's not on my mind anymore, It'll come to me eventually.

View Quoted Comment I think what I would do is take them out to dinner as a thank you. 🥰 after the wedding of course!