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Just Said Yes April 2021

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L, on August 17, 2020 at 6:00 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

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Can someone tell me if i’m overreacting please.

Im inviting my parents of course however, they’re divorced. It’s already a situation there having to keep them separated while in the same room. My venue is on the small side. One parent is very civil. The other is not. They’re talking about inviting a few people. I was reluctant about these people because some I do not know. They’re willing to pay for their meals/drinks so i said fine. I have reached my capacity limit of people so i came back and said just to keep it very minimal and don’t invite anymore people. This resulted in them asking “what about their future significant other” if they find a significant other they would want to invite them. I said absolutely not, I personally don’t want this person in the same room or in my photos. Also do not want to makeup awkward for my other guests. ALSO i can’t add anymore people. I have to check if the venue can allow a little more people. I don’t feel comfortable with them bringing a significant other and they’re not ok with my response, they want me to accept what it is but this is my day. They say they’re not comfortable showing up with the out this significant other so maybe they shouldn’t be invited if it’s going to be this difficult. I already have an issue with this certain parent accidentally drinking too much alcohol. I really don’t want my day to be filled with stress but not sure if anyone’s been in this situation.

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Trisha, on August 18, 2020 at 7:32 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 17, 2020 at 6:04 PM
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Your wedding is 8 months away. If they have a significant other, just like any other guest, they should absolutely be invited together. It doesn't make much sense that you're okay with inviting this parent's friends that you don't know, but not a romantic partner.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on August 17, 2020 at 6:09 PM
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I completely agree. If they are in a relationship then they should be allowed to attend with their significant other. You would be expecting them to celebrate your relationship, but completely ignoring theirs.
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Just Said Yes April 2021
L · on August 17, 2020 at 6:10 PM
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I get that but my other parent is not bringing their significant other because this was a nasty divorce and there would most likely be drama over it so I would rather avoid specifically them two to not bring them
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 17, 2020 at 6:13 PM
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If there's drama, it's the other parent's fault, not the significant other. Your parents are adults, they should be able to behave as such for their child's wedding. Do you plan to exclude your parents significant others from all of your future family events? Birthday parties, holidays, etc. because the other one will cause drama?
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Devoted November 2021
Maureen · on August 17, 2020 at 6:13 PM
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Are you talking about your parent bring a sig. other? Or your parent's friends bringing a plus one?
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on August 17, 2020 at 6:30 PM
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I totally agree with this. It's rude to invite someone and then tell them they can't bring their significant other.
If you got a wedding invitation in the mail today, it was only for you, and your FH wasn't invited, would you go? Wouldn't you think it was rude?
You can't expect people to respect your relationship if you don't respect theirs. You're absolutely free to do what you want, and invite who you want. But if the SOs aren't invited, you shouldn't invite those people either.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 17, 2020 at 6:31 PM
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I think this is your day, and you can invite ( or NOT invite) anyone you want. If you think your parent inviting a significant other is going to create drama and ruin your day, then I agree with you that they shouldn’t be invited. As your parents, they should want to support you on your wedding day. It is 100% you & your SO’s day and should be about the two of you, not your parents’ relationships or drama. You only get one wedding day... don’t let other people ruin it for you!
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 17, 2020 at 6:34 PM
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Just want to make sure I am reading this correctly... Neither of your parents actually have significant others at this time - they were inquiring about inviting significant others in case they found one by your wedding date, correct?
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Just Said Yes April 2021
L · on August 17, 2020 at 6:44 PM
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Correct. this significant other is a non existent person. I’m worried because i need to see the venue will allow a little more people than capacity but they’re talking about inviting all these people and a significant other if it comes up. They’re not listening that this is not an open invitation
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 17, 2020 at 6:59 PM
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That seems ridiculous to me. Who creates drama over a non-existent person?? It’s not like they are currently in a long term relationship and you are snubbing them. I’m so sorry you have been put in this position! I would put my foot down and say you have reached max capacity at your venue and no one else (especially imaginary people!🤦🏼‍♀️) will be invited. End of story.
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on August 17, 2020 at 7:33 PM
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It’s your parents, there is a good chance there is a significant other, it would be rude not to invite since your wedding is so far into the future.

I understand the divorce wasn’t pretty, but this is where you sit them both down and tell them for your sake they need to get it together and be civil. End.Of.Story. Shame on them if they can’t request your wishes
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October 2021
Kimberly · on August 17, 2020 at 7:55 PM
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👍🏻 Totally agree chrysta.
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Devoted August 2020
Lauren · on August 17, 2020 at 8:37 PM
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I agree and think its a little silly they are causing drama over a SO who doesn't yet exist. But I will offer advice as to what I did. My parents are divorced and hardly speak, the last time I saw them in the same room was about 5 years before my wedding. My mom has a boyfriend who my dad has never met but always is nasty about. This boyfriend also is obnoxious while drunk. 1. I told my mom that she needs to tell her bf in a nice way that he needs to not drink and be his sober nice self. She totally understood, did that, and he was so lovely at the wedding. 2. I told my parents im not dealing with the drama but that her boyfriend is welcome and my parents need to settle it behind the scenes like adults on their own. And they were fine with that, did so, and the 2 men ignored one another. You know your family best, do what is right for you! Good luck!
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Expert May 2021
Erin · on August 18, 2020 at 12:00 AM
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Umm the way i read the original comment was : parent 1 has a SO, but parent 2 does not. Bride already said maxed out with guests invited .. parent 2 is being a baby and cant show up alone so is asking NOW: “well if i find someone in a few months can they come?” ... NOOOO!! U were invited alone/not dating anyone.We are maxed out. NOO
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on August 18, 2020 at 4:51 AM
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So... your parent is asking to bring an SO that... doesn't exist yet?
Um... no.
You're having a very small wedding, are at capacity, and would have ZERO time to get to know this hypothetical person before hand... and they would be in a position to be in ALL your major photos, possibly around while you're getting ready, and so on. Because they'd be a parents' SO.
If said parent wanted that space for a date, they should have kept that space aside, spoken to you about it a while ago, and also, y'know... found said SO.
We only invited SOs for long term relationships. That's a cutoff you can make, so long as you're consistent about it.
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Super October 2020
Trisha · on August 18, 2020 at 7:32 AM
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If They Dont Have A Significant Other When Invited, Then No They Shouldnt Be Added Later On If They Pop Up In That Persons Life. You Cannot Accommodate Everybody. Personally We Are Only Inviting Those We Know And Partners Will Only Be Invited If Theyre Married.
If Anything, Tell Them None Of Them Can Come. Theyll Get over It, Its YOUR Day Not Theirs.
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