Parent gifts and flowers

I’m on the fence too cause we are paying for our own wedding! I think that a small gift is a nice gesture

Neither of those things are given to parents for financial contributions. Just like your bridesmaids and groomsmen, who likely didn't contribute to your wedding either, flowers are given to parents and grandparents to show that they're a VIP and to honor them. Gifts are typically given to parents to basically say "hey, thanks for raising me."

My father, mother & stepfather are paying for our entire wedding. No contribution whatsoever from my fiance's parents. That didn't change us getting them all flowers & all gifts.

IMO, yes. The flowers are to honor them as your parents, and the gifts are a thank you for bringing you into the world (basically). Regardless if they pay or not for your wedding.

Ha ha ha yes that’s what I was thinking, then I though what are they getting a gift for.....🤷‍♀️ Usually the point of the gift is a thank you for being apart of the planning and day. We are planning the day ourselves. It’s so difficult and I don’t want to sound petty but when I told my mom we are getting married she said don’t ask for money from me to help, And his mom said they will help if they can. They paid for his brother and sisters wedding but we don’t get help?!?! Ugh I don’t want to sound like a brat because that’s not the case.... ha ha sorry about the rant

Okay I didn’t look at it that way. We don’t have a wedding party. My two oldest children are giving me away and We are standing up at the alter alone.

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Based on this it sounds like you don't want to give them flowers or gifts, which I think is fine honestly. My family and husband's family actually did both help pay for our wedding but we didn't give anyone flowers except for my bouquet and bridesmaid bouquets (husband didn't even have one) and no one cared. Though both our families are a little non-traditional and don't care about things like that... I guarantee none of them even thought twice about it.

I did give my mom a little thank you gift since she was a huge help (especially emotionally) throughout the planning process. I'm planning to put together photo books as a thank you to my father in law and grandfather in law for helping to pay for the wedding because I know they'll appreciate that, but I didn't give them anything day-of.

Great idea! I haven’t fully decided yet. Right now I am 9 mo away and had no support or help in any way. It’s not about the money. We can pay for the wedding but it’s about who is there for us. It’s great you have support emotionally and financially. I would be content with just the emotional right now 😫

I'd do it anyway. I don't think their contribution matters for that. I gave it to my family to wear even though I paid for my own wedding. I also gave them gifts. Because even though they didn't help financially they were still there that day helping me set up and stuff

I'm not even sure I'll bother with flowers for myself so I can't weigh in there.
We're not doing presents for parents. We're not close to his parents and have problems with them. My parents just don't care so I'm not bothering, anything I get them will go in a closet anyway 🤷

Whether they help pay or not, has nothing to do with it. Neither flowers, or parent gifts, are at all necessary. People used to wear flowers at all kinds of occasions in the past, but it is not common now. When is the last time you went to anything but a wedding, and saw most of the men with a bout ? Look at old press pictures, it was a common thing for many years. And women's clubs practically kept florists' corsage businesses going. But like women wearing white gloves and a hat when going out in the city, it is infrequently done now. Do it or don't. None of the women in my wedding, or in the last many I have been in, have wanted to wear the corsages often given the mothers, or godmother's, or elder women of the family. Even if already paid for. Others take them off, almost immediately, discard them. Women of an age to have children marrying used to wear outfits with jackets. And heavier brocade's and taffetas and other sturdy fabrics. Pin a corsage on, the fabric would not be ruined. Now MIB and MOG more often wear lightweight, silky or crepe fabrics, which will forever have marks in to front where a corsage was pinned on. And wrist corsages annoy many people. Before spending money, if you want them, ask if they will get worn, or if you are spending $18-45 on a flower with a pin or wrist loop, the person will remove after 30 minutes. . . . Giving little gifts to everyone every time you turn around is a recent thing. Much promoted by the industry selling them, but most not necessary, or customary. Gifts to parents, like proposal gifts, engagement gifts, things to use or wear getting ready or at bachelor parties, are a recent trend. Not needed. The only traditional gift to parents has usually been pictures, in an album or frame, from the wedding. Obviously, given after it is over. And over time, many people have taken the time to write a sentimental letter to their own parents. I have never heard of any parent not treasuring such letters. . . But other gifts to say you have been great parents, are more usually given on mother's day, Father's day, parent anniversaries, and parent's own birthdays. Give little parent gifts, or not. Not traditional, some do it.