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Diamond
Beginner August 2022

Parent dance envy

Diamond, on December 11, 2021 at 12:52 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 1 11
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My fiancé and I have been together for a long time and when we finally got engaged, everyone was ecstatic. Especially my mom. I have never had a relationship with my father and my entire life I KNEW my mom was going to walk me down the aisle and dance with me. We got engaged last june and 2 weeks after, my mom passed in a tragic car accident. I know my fiancé wants to have his Mother/son dance but I don’t know how to navigate between what he wants and my own feelings. (We recently attended a wedding where I tried my best not to sob through parent dances). Any advice?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on December 13, 2021 at 2:26 PM
  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    Do you have any brothers, or men who were a strong influence in your life, so you get along with your fil well maybe you can do a dance with him
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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    First, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. My stepbrother lost his mother about a year before his wedding, so he didn’t get to have his mother-son dance. But he did allow his wife to have the father-daughter dance and he had his dad and sister and my mom standing on the side with him to comfort him while she did so. He didn’t want her to miss out on a memory with her dad, so he let it happen. At my own wedding, he again got emotional when my husband danced with his mother. So we all huddled around him and held him as he cried. It’s tough, but just remember that it is a memory for your future hubby and his mom and it wouldn’t really be fair to take that away, even though it hurts. If you have someone or multiple someones to help you through that moment, utilize them! You don’t have to be alone during the tough times.
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  • Diamond
    Beginner August 2022
    Diamond ·
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    I have a sister and 1 uncle who I am not close to. My grandfather passed a year before my mom, and my uncle that I was close to passed 2 months after my mother did.
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    My heart breaks for you. Know that I am so sorry for your loss and will be in my prayers.
    I agree with PP that you shouldnt take away the opportunity for your FH to dance with his mom. Have your bridesmaids gather around to support you. Or, if your husband is ok with it, step away while he has his moment with his mom. Go out side get some fresh air, use the restroom, freshen up, have a drink with your bridal party (if you partake), sit in quiet and talk to your mom or light a candle for her. What ever you need to do for you. If you want to publicly honor her you can have the DJ play a song for her. You don’t even have to have him announce it is in honor of her if you don’t want.
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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    It sounds like you aren't close with any of your family members, what about your FH's family? Would you consider dancing with your FFIL? It might make him feel really honored if you were to ask.

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  • Steph
    Dedicated May 2022
    Steph ·
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. Look at it like this, he is blessed to have his mom there with him. I understand it has you in your feelings and that is ok. I’m all about Non-traditional and I think it would be cute if his dad or mom danced with you as well. I know I would.
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  • Monica
    Devoted August 2021
    Monica ·
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. We skipped parent dances entirely since I can't make it through them without crying (also lost a parent) but my husband was okay with that. If yours still wants to do his dance that might be an excellent time for a bathroom break or to touch up your makeup or to be anywhere but watching it.
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  • Diamond
    Beginner August 2022
    Diamond ·
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    FFIL has offered and as much as I appreciate it, I would not feel comfortable doing that. We are cordial with one another but don’t really have that kind of close personal relationship
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  • Evonne
    Savvy January 2022
    Evonne ·
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    Do u have a brother u could dance with or a nice uncle....your husband's father perhaps?
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  • Evonne
    Savvy January 2022
    Evonne ·
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    I agree with you!
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I am SO sorry for your loss. That is a huge blow and I completely understand how missing your mom is affecting your wedding planning. No matter what decision you ultimately make, I sincerely hope you don't land on keeping your future spouse from dancing with his mom just because that will make you sad. His wants and needs for the wedding are just as important as yours.

    The good news as far as planning and decisions, is that you don't need to make the decision about what you will do (dance with someone else, don't dance at all) until much closer to the wedding. Don't rush your decision and the right answer will come to you.

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