Paging Celia-Non religious Ceremony ideas

Put "Paging Celia" in your post title- she's an officiant with tons of experience and excellent ideas. Check Pinterest for readings, etc.

Thank you so much!

We haven't really started on our ceremony yet, but we know we want to begin with this poem:

“I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good.

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.”

We really like the idea that we aren't together because any fate planned it or any god put us together, but just that we, by the essence of who we are, choose each other and make each other happy. We're hoping to build our ceremony around that idea.

That is absolutely perfect!

Side note: I have a tattoo on my ribs that reads "my eternity shall proudly display the impression of my actions" My way of saying that I am in control of how my life is spent.

Following. I haven't thought about what I want to do for the ceremony. My officiant (FH's longtime family friend) is requesting we pick a verse but I want to do something else as well.

@Chelsea

I really like that! Is it a quote from a poem, or did you come up with it yourself?

Look up Can-A-Lope Weddings. On their website they have written up ceremonies. Religious and Non-religious or you piece together parts of different ones you like. You can also find and book officiants.

Our ceremony had to be non-religious. It made me sad but it was still beautiful. I'll try to screenshot our ceremony paperwork. I am on mobile so it'll be a few posts. I'm sorry.

Look up Celia on Pinterest. She has great pins!

I apologize this will be 4 posts ETA don't ask why they can say holy but can't use religious redings or say "in the presence of God" I took what they'd give me.

I'll post our reading choices at the beginning and end shortly.

End

We did 10 at the beginning slot and 8 at the end slot.we also paused in the middle for a sand ceremony.

Disclaimer and price of admission; I am really passionate about hiring great people and letting them do what they do expertly whether it's an officiant, a photographer or a caterer. They will not only accomplish what you hope, they will act as your guide, your confidant, your shrink at times, and when you choose someone as in the dark as you are,(not an insult, just a reality) a process that should be fun and interesting becomes fraught with anxiety. It's not surprising if you think about it. Maybe you're feeling this already.

So,that being said, the obvious suggestion is to ask your officiant. (On a national level, I would suggest Celebrant Foundation; they are here, and the training is good.) If you find someone you love and trust, it's the best several hundred dollars you'll spend. You're buying confidence, experience, and the ability to talk you off the ledge. You're also, in the best cases, getting access to the pros and vendors that they recommend; people they've seen from a different perspective than the reviews here will expose.

The problem with most of the 'written up' sample cermonies on various websites is that they're boring, generic, and generally exactly the opposite of 'personalized, which is usually why people pick a friend to officiate for them. A ceremony needs to have a dynamic flow, an arc that leads to the natural focus; the vows and rings and then the pronouncement. I think I've read maybe two ceremonies on other sites that I thought were any good. This is why good officiants charge what they do; so you don't get a wedding that sounds like every wedding happening everywhere.

When you choose a religious ceremony delivered by a religious figure, there is usually a format they have to follow and elements they have to include, which, ironically, makes it a little easier for a couple to be involved; there are a couple readings to pick and that's the end of the story. When you're facing a big blank page, it's a little more challenging.

Everything you put in a ceremony has to have a reason to be there and it needs to be in a logical place. You're trying to lead a room full of people with very high expectations, and most of the typical wedding readings sound like the same old gibberish. I looked at Can-A-lope and not only do I not know any of the officiants listed in my area there,the very first ceremony I looked at started with, "Who gives this woman to this man". Archaic. No. Good example of what you need to think about as you start slapping things together. Do you want to be 'given' away like an end table that no longer fits the decor? I didn't think so. Promising to love, honor and cherish? Kind of a given and boring as shit. Nothing inspiring there. Yawn. When do I get wine? Wouldn't it be better if you promised to walk the dog when it snows and always have Champagne in the fridge? That's essentially promising to love and cherish, but it's a hell of lot more interesting.

So all that being said.....

Some of the elements you might include, not necessarily in this order;

Readings (go to my pinterest page; there are about 700 of them, mostly non religious. There is also a 'mad lib' vow generator.....http://pinterest.com/celiamilton)

welcome to the guests and an acknowledgment of the season/setting (NYC skyline, woods, spring, winter, beach, mountain)

thank you to the parents and possibly the asking of support

statement of intent (in most states you have to do this)

moment of remembrance

story about the couple

some not boring words about marriage

ritual elements like sand, glass, tequila sharings, hand fastings, chocolate tastings

for rare groups, responsive readings (I did this for one of my couples, and I thought it was the worst idea ever, but their group loved it. Go figure)

vows and rings, of course

pronouncement

See, it's not that easy. Almost anyone can put together or copy a ceremony that gets the job done, and for many people that is really all they're interested in accomplishing. Priorities, right?

For others, the ceremony really is the centerpiece of the day; more important than cute signs or monogrammed napkins.

Hope that helps. The best suggestion, however, is to find a great pro and breathe a sigh of relief.

Sorry, couldn't help myself, lol.....

Matrimony is not a state.....

I didn't get a choice about anything said except the poems. I didn't even know who my officiant was until she called 24 hours before the ceremony. (Then she passed us off to her brothe 1 hour prior to the ceremony due to 3 ceremonies with identical start times because of an accident causing delays. The company was a partner to my venue and I had to use them.

@Lorith, no venue should be allowed to do that.

Carnival Cruise lines does. They Refused to give me an answer as to why though.

I can tell you why. Markup. But you're married, you have gorgeous photos and you had a great party, so it's all good!

Yeah it was worth it, but it did irk me. Thanks Celia!