Anita
Dedicated December 2019

Overwhelmed

Anita, on December 5, 2019 at 9:09 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 12
Saved Save
Reply

Good morning December Brides;

I really need help this morning. Yesterday was a real dossie of a day. My wedding is rather small never intended for it to be larger than 50 at the very most 70 people. Yesterday I receive a text from my venue saying I have an obligation to spend at least $8,500 just on food, she says she gave me a break because it's normally $15,000. Well that was a surprise and not the last one I was to get from them. The next email said I had an obligation to fill another 4 room because I had promised them 8 rooms. While 1 visiting relative booked for 7 nights, and two others for 2 nights and 2 others for 1 night, but they now want it to be 8 booked people. Then I get home and my FH tells me his brother who was supposed to be a groomsman and has known this since last year, now says he isn't able to afford the tuxedo rental and is going to ask someone else to fill his spot. (WAIT...I Don't want that person in my wedding). Top it off with asking people who said they wanted rooms if they had booked and finding out that they had booked somewhere else. Whew....please tell me this is normal and I'll get though it and all the extra financial obligations will work themselves out because right now I feel like I am at my wits end.

12 Comments

  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Did your contract with the venue say anything about a $8500 minimum, or having to fill 8 rooms?


    Also it’s super tacky to “replace” a groomsman. Especially it being his brother, i can’t imagine he wouldn’t want his brother in the wedding over a tux rental... any way you guys can pay for his tux rental, or just let him wear something else?
    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks Gen;


    I don't know if I'm tired or just petty right now. But I have enough financial obligations already and don't want to pay for his tuxedo. It's alright with me if he isn't in the wedding if that's his choice. I feel he should have planned for it because he knew about it and if he chooses not to be in the wedding then so be it. Although I sound like a frustrated bride I will met my financial obligations but I will not pay for a grown man.

    • Reply
  • Annajoy
    Dedicated July 2020
    Annajoy ·
    • Flag

    Hi Anita!

    Yikes! I'd be freaking out too!

    Find your contract with them and read through all the fine print. If it's not on the contract then they don't have any legal grounds to force you to do any of this!

    If you want me to go through the contract with you, DM me!

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Does your FH care if his brother isn’t in the wedding though? It’s really tacky to replace a groomsman and a huge insult to whoever you replace him with to basically tell him that he was a “backup” because his brother couldn’t afford the tux. At this point if you’re not willing to cover it for him, I’d say either just let him wear what he wants, or just remove him from the wedding party but don’t replace him.
    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted May 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    If the minimum is not stated in your contract, you aren't obligated to pay it. Same thing goes with the rooms. Read your contracts.

    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you, that's an excellent suggestion. I will do that this evening when I get off work.

    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Gen;

    I agree with you...I am just dropping him from the wedding party. I should have given more background information. This is a gentleman who works everyday but never pays for anything when we go out and contributes nothing to any family event. I don't believe he can't afford it, I think he doesn't want to afford it!!

    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Annajoy;

    Thank you for the suggestion and your kind offer to help Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Makes sense, yikes! Good call then. Good luck I hope it all works out for you
    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you...I just needed to vent. I am comfortable with my decision.

    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you...I took time, made decisions and prepared for what I will and what I won't pay for. I had the conversation with the venue and am now ready to move forward.

    • Reply
  • Anita
    Dedicated December 2019
    Anita ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you Gen:

    I just removed him from the wedding party.

    Easy peesy.....

    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

×