Overwhelmed, postpone or not to postpone

Honestly, it sounds like the stars are aligning perfectly for a postponement! And then you can relax and enjoy your dream day. I personally think for couples having more than 30-50 guests, either there might be restrictions on fall weddings or there may be a high decline rate because people won’t be feeling safe yet.

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It really is. There's a lot that could go right for us if we postpone. That's really what I'm worried about in the fall is either finding out our guest list is too large, its already fairly small but not below 50, or that people just won't come. I just got myself stupidly worried about the heat in July, I know it's really not that big of a worry, and even my mom told me I'm overthinking, heck I'm in a wedding in Florida and the heat never crossed my mind, why is it standing out now.

I agree with Pirate & 60s Bride. Postponing sounds like it would work out great for you and would take a lot of stress off the unknown off your shoulders. I bet there are some easy modifications to adapting to the warmer temperature. Maybe ask the men’s tux rental place if changes can be made in the style options? And maybe your hair in an updo for optimum cooling? Or have parasols ready to provide shade for you/guests? It’s great your vendors are all able to move to the same backup date. That is super lucky! 🍀

View Quoted Comment Well one good thing for postponing, not so good for going as planning, is the tuxes haven’t been been started yet, that was supposed to happen last month but we’re still waiting for the stores to open. So that’s another concern is how much we have to do that we can’t until everything opens. You’re right I have a feeling I might have to rethink my hairstyle. The more I hear here the more it’s sounding like next year might be a better option.

It's so hard to say. i live in socal and the authorities have targeted opening dates for phases at least, but even that is so uncertain because they are really just goals and as you know because of the situation, nothing is so certain anymore!

it does sound like your postponement benefits you but i can see your dilemma with it because it's not like you want to postpone getting married or anything. i think i would think about whether you want to have the wedding of your dreams where people are more comfortable and where you aren't worried or where you THINK things will be ok enough to go forth with the original date. my best friend is still getting married on 9/19 this year and she said that she felt if the people she wants can make it, then that's all that matters to her.

View Quoted Comment When you mentioned concerns about the heat - I had to be bridesmaid in an August Las Vegas wedding last year and it was over 110 with outside ceremony and indoor reception. It was HOT with no shade 🥵 and bride wanted us all with half up half down hair. We survived and it went great since it was a short ceremony. The groomsmen just wore lightweight white dress shirts, black dress pants, and matching ties and bridesmaids knee length dresses so it was bearable. Groom wore tux but immediately took off jacket during reception. These could be attire options if July ends up being hot like you said.

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The uncertainty is the worst!

I want our guests to be able to enjoy themselves as much as we are, it's just so hard to make the right choice!

How long will your venue hold the back-up date for you? It sounds like postponing, while difficult and heartbreaking, may cause you the least amount of stress overall. I'm a bit of a pessimist myself, but I just don't see large gatherings being allowed in the northeast without social distancing restrictions for several more months. 7/31/21 was the postponement date we really wanted, so I'm super jealous of you! If you're doing a short ceremony, I wouldn't worry too much about the heat. I've been to September weddings that were just as warm as a typical July day. You never know what the weather is going to do!

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I'm expecting our ceremony to be short, I hate having all eyes on me and talking in front of people so the shorter the better lol. I talked to FH and he's willing to change his plans for what they will wear. My girls on the other hand will be in long dresses since they have already been ordered. So its sounding like it could all come together.

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You sound like me! I can be pessimistic too so it's hard to see everything opening in time. Honestly they didn't tell me a date to have it decided by, I just would rather have a decision sooner rather than later to not leave them all hanging. I'm planning on having a short ceremony for sure and that's true too I've seen it reach 90 in September, hell I was at the beach one year in October!

I think you should go with your gut. What does your FH say, how does he feel? Remember this day is about the both of you.

Personally, I'm all about signs and significance to dates, so the new date sounds like it already has some special meaning to you. In some ways you could redesign some of your wedding to make it more season friendly. I wouldn't worry to much about your dress and you've already said the guys tuxes haven't been ordered so no real issues there.

At the end of the day, it's your day. What do you want? Did you pick your current day because it was the "only day available" at your venue? I'm one who wants to choose the date and not have it chosen for me.

Follow your heart, it will be beautiful and it will all work out the way you want.

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He's just as lost as I am. All that matters to him is that we're getting married. Our current date really doesn't have a significance to us, we were just looking at Sunday dates and liked the flow of 20, 2020 so we went with it. The new date kinda has more significance than the original.

I'm leaning more and more to postponing I think,

I’m originally from Mass and totally understand your apprehension on a July outdoor ceremony. The truth is - you never know with MA weather lol. It could be a perfect summer evening if you push the start time back a bit. Our wedding was 9/14 last year and we got a rainy, misty day - not the ideal late summer weather I signed up for! Honestly, the new date sounds really great. The significance of it is cute, you’d have time to save more and (hopefully) there won’t be issues with guest count restrictions.

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We chose our date (10/10/20) because we loved that 10+10=20 and his son was born in 2010 and is 10. The date is not quite a week just shy of 5 years to the day we met.

Sounds like you're close to making up your mind. It will be great no matter what you choose. And if you're not in a hurry to be Mr. & Mrs. - then why not postpone and have a little more fun.

View Quoted Comment I know Mass weather is literally all over the place lol. You made some really good points here! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Aww your date has a good meaning behind it! I have a feeling we’re leaning towards next July, though we’ve talked about it that that’s the last time we’ll move it. If next summer ends up being like this we’ll have a small intimate ceremony and then renew our vows when it’s safe to have the big wedding we wanted.

I know it's such a hard decision to make and I feel for you! But, honestly, given the struggle others are having to postpone, it seems like this is all working out so well. It may be worth it to postpone, and you'll never be engaged again! Another year to enjoy engagement isn't the worst thing in the world, even if it isn't what you planned.

View Quoted Comment I know I guess what’s hitting the hardest is we’ve had everything booked since last April, so we were all planned and set for over a year to have to move it so it’s tough to do. But I’m pretty sure it’s for the best.

We canceled my daughters for June 20, wedding in MA. The venue gave us the option of October 2020 or May 2021. We talked with a lot of friends and it was 50/50 as to what they thought. We just decided on May because my daughter said she just could not hold her breath as to if the wedding was going to happen again and by then all the Saturday nights would be taken.

I think like someone said, sounds like the your new date is calling you.

Oh, and I have been to some wicked hot weddings. I still danced my butt off!

View Quoted Comment Reading this is kinda reassuring, hearing that she chose to go to next year as well and that the heat hasn’t stopped you helps a lot! We’ve been talking a lot about it today and my FMIL, who works in the medical field, even said to postpone. I think we’ll be coming to a final decision soon