Overwhelmed! Mother trouble

I am writing because I’m really overwhelmed at a time that should be the happiest time of my life. My mother and I have always never met eye to eye, but now that it’s about me she keeps trying to turn everything to about her. She’s always been a selfish person, but now I’m just miserable.
While looking for venues and trying to get her input about my vision she keep turning it to about if her and my dad could get a picture of them together. I said of course, but let’s focus on what we are doing here.

We tried to go dress shopping and I found the my dress, it suddenly turned to her and what she will be wearing and how she can’t spend any money on a dress. She rolled her eyes at everything and what was supposed to be a happy day turned miserable. She insist on doing the wedding flowers which is a nightmare on its own. She doesn’t know what she’s doing and thinks she’s the florist my grandmother was. God rest her soul! She keeps asking me when we are going to do the flowers and I just haven’t told her I’m using a florist because I don’t want the stress of dealing with her. We actually took one day to go over my vision on flowers and she kept reverting back to what her corsage was going to look like and how she was going to look.
Yesterday we went and tried dresses on for my sister in laws wedding and I kept fighting back tears because I wanted this, I wanted my friends and my family to all be there when I chose my dress. My mother in law even hugged me and told me that she wishes we could have done this with me as well. My mother is jealous of my mother in law. But it just couldn’t be. I decided to try setting a date in the near future for alterations where everyone could see me in my dress. My mother has already grilled me about who all is going to be there. I’ve tried including her in going to vendor shows and she just acts like she has something better to do.

I’m exhausted. I’ve literally done everything on my own and I’m exhausted. I told my fiancé I’m hiring a wedding planner to just be there on the big day so she doesn’t try to run the show. I don’t even want to begin on what she wants to wear to the wedding. It’s a 1920’s theme, the only thing I have asked is the wedding party wear 1920’s clothes. I have offered lots of cheap websites to order from. She insist on this ridiculous dress that is from the 1950’s. This is seriously the only thing I’m going to be a bridezilla about is that my mother wear something to the theme of the wedding. I have just stopped asking her for input. I try to bounce ideas off my best friend, but she’s a busy working mom too. I get it!
Then we get down to the music. I told her we decided on songs for our first dance, a dance with my dad and then both of my grandpas. She of course adds in well what about a mother daughter dance. I internalize once again that’s not a thing and I would make it a thing if we were the best of friends, but we aren’t.

I would understand if she was paying for the wedding, but she’s not paying for a penny of it.
So I’m on my own building the amazing vision and no one to share it with. It’s going to be amazing in the end, but it just sucks not having the support system everyone else does. My grandmother was my best friend and we share the same passion for party planning and decor and she would have been my person. I’m trying to fill a void that I’m longing for. Help!