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Missa
Dedicated October 2020

Overwhelmed and Stressed - a Rant

Missa, on February 23, 2020 at 4:29 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 18

I really don't love to put my feelings out on the internet, but I guess I'm looking for brides who can relate to me since it seems everyone else I talk to can't!

I'm just feeling overwhelmed and stressed about a lot. I'm planning an entire wedding, working two jobs to make extra money (so I'm working 6-7 days a week) and trying to find my fiancé an apartment for him to move into by March 31st with other stressful things happening on top of that as well. We're not living together before we're married so this apartment will be for him until we get married in October. But I guess I just feel like I'm doing this all on my own. There's never a lot of down time for me, and on my occasional day off I'm catching up on things I can't do otherwise so I'm just always going. I know I need to have a discussion with him about all of this, and I will, I just needed to get it out there I suppose. Totally understand that people have it worse than me or are going through the exact same as me and are fine, but I'm still just feeling the stress of it all piling up. I feel like everyone I talk to just brushes me off and is like "well that's life!" which I totally get, but some support would be nice rather than telling me something I already know.

I know it'll all work out and be fine, but sometimes the process of getting there is a little hard.

18 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on February 25, 2020 at 1:31 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Aw that’s when practicing self care is important! I know it seems like there’s not enough time in the world but even just taking half an hour for yourself to breathe is useful
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  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
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    Totally agree with Melle you gotta schedule some down time. Also try to delegate things wherever possible... to parents, siblings, friends- even if it’s just something small each week. Hang in there love!
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Yeah you gotta scale back and do things that make you feel good. Working two jobs is rough. I would put the apt on the boyfriend as he is a grown man and can find his own place. Plus is he contributing to the wedding at all? Maybe give him some of the tasks.

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  • Natalia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Natalia ·
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    I completely understand this and feel for you! I really hope it gets better.
    I’m a full-time college student, I babysit, I give music lessons, and I work as a DSP.
    It can be so overwhelming trying to make it all work!Try to take care of yourself. And also focus on things one day at a time. If it’s something that doesn’t need to be done right this second, take it off of your to-do list for a day and take some time to rest.Hang in there! ❤️
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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    Like Kristen said, he needs to find his own apt
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  • E
    Devoted August 2020
    Elle ·
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    I'm so sorry. I agree that he needs to find his own apartment. Is he able to just find one that can be rented out monthly? Most new leases are for the whole year, unless you already live there (for example, my rent is up in May, but I am thinking of leasing out by month if I can't get a house right away. Our wedding is in August, and we also do not live together). However, it might be different in your area, so don't listen to me lol I am just curious about how he's going to start renting by March, and live there for only 7 months.

    Good luck! You'll get through it.

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  • Catherine
    Savvy October 2020
    Catherine ·
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    I agree with the other ladies he needs to find his own apartment. As for yourself stay organize(have a to do list) and find some time for YOURSELF.



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  • Emma
    Devoted March 2021
    Emma ·
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    As hard as it is to find the time, take some time for yourself. Block it into your schedule. Pick something to do with a set time that you can't be doing anything else. Plan to watch a 30 minute tv show. Do a 15 minute face mask and just breathe for that time. Self-care is so important, especially when you have all these things going on. Working 2 jobs, planning a wedding, and looking for an apartment are all stressful on their own. If you can do this, I'm pretty sure you can do anything. But you definitely don't have to do it all at the same time or all on your own.

    When I was looking for an apartment I had my fiancé make a list of all the places in the area in our budget and then honestly just put wedding planning on pause for a couple weeks until I could get things settled with the apartment. One thing at a time, one day at a time. You got this!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    Thank you for taking the time to reach out! You're right. I feel like everything else is more important, but without being in a good place myself mentally, it'll make what I have to do a chore when it should be exciting.

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    That's a good idea. I'm honestly really bad at asking people to do things for me because I either feel bad or would rather do it myself so I know it gets done. I need to step back and give some other people some responsibilities so it's not just all me. Thank you so much!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    Working two jobs is the worst, haha! The extra money doesn't seem all that worth it from the amount of stress I feel. And we did talk about it the other night and he is going to take over looking for an apartment finally. And the main thing he's done so far is book the videographer. I do need to split some tasks with him though because everything is getting to be a lot to handle!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    Thank you so much! You're extremely busy too, so if you can get through this, I can definitely get through it as well! Sometimes I start making these lists in my head of everything that needs to be done right this second, but in reality we have months still to figure it out. Like you said, I need to work on that!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    He's going to ask the landlord at his current apartment if that's something he can do while we search for an apartment in the meantime! And wherever he moves to, that will be the place we live after the wedding! So I definitely don't mind helping in the search, but he was out of town this past week when I went to look at an apartment and I was totally clueless! So it stressed me out even more and I was wondering why I was the one looking at apartments when he knows/understands so much more than me in that aspect! It was a bit frustrating, but now he's going to take responsibility for finding a place so that's something off my shoulders a bit!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    Thank you!!

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    Thank you so much for reaching out! I really do need to take some time for myself because it feels like my brain is in overdrive mode constantly! And that is a great idea, with how overwhelmed I am, I never even thought that everything doesn't need to be figured out at once. We can schedule what needs to get done when and not feel like everything needs to be squared away at the same time.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Can you scale back on the wedding? I hate to be a jerk but it is one day and it is not worth you killing yourself. It is a beautiful day of course but is it worth the stress you feel?

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  • Missa
    Dedicated October 2020
    Missa ·
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    You're not being a jerk! After I started planning the wedding, I began to favor eloping instead, but my fiancé really wants a wedding with everyone he cares about there. Understandable, and he doesn't ask for a lot. We have about 120 people on the guest list and that's really all the most important people to us on there so I'm not sure how we could invite some and not the others :/

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Just keeping it small. Who really makes an impact on both of your lives?

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