Overseeing Dessert & Candy Bar

I don't think you can control what people perceive as a gift. I would just order more so you can guarantee you don't run out. The more the merrier!

I don't think there's a polite way of doing that. I agree with Anne, just order what you feel would be an ample supply.

I don't think you have any control over what people take. If you ordered more than enough you should be fine! You have to remember that while some people may take a lot, others may take less or none.

You don't control it. You just order more than enough and you can provide boxes for people to take home leftovers as a favor.

Preportion things? The whole point of a snack bar is for people to have the choice in 1. What they want and 2. How much they want. Sounds like you have plenty of options, so I wouldn't worry

If you want to control it, you don't have a "bar," you have it served individually to each guest.

Since the main dessert is being served to each guest, I wouldn't worry too much about this. Everyone will have dessert and your bar will have plenty of mini desserts. There's really nothing else you can do. If someone is rude and takes too many, at least none of your guests will go hungry.

The only way to portion control like that is to have each portion served at their place setting.

Otherwise, you need to order a few extras of all of it. People will take more of what they think they'll like and skip other things.

It is silly to worry because it sounds like you've ordered plenty and some people, like myself, don't like sweets so will only have 1 or 2 or none at all. After cake and soup I prob wouldn't even touch the dessert bar tbh. You will be fine! There is no polite way to say only take your share; you can't treat adults like children.

Do you really want to be the dessert police or to make someone shame your guests? You are having dessert served at the table. After that, if someone hogs up the dessert you are not to blame.

I won't repeat the same answer but I will add that if you are going to provide take home bags or boxes, don't put those out until near the end of the night. My DOC put the bags out at the start of dessert and people were packing those bags for the apocalypse! She discreetly took them away and returned them later. We still had lots left over but better more than not enough.

We didn't. We ordered enough of our cookies for everyone to get 4, and enough pastries for everyone to have 2. They doubled as our fabors so we had people take them home. I don't think there's a polite way of limiting portions at a "bar," so the only thing I can think of is same as PPs, pre-plated at everyone's seats

Would it be rude if my day of coordinator puts out a certain number of desserts and refills it as needed? This could potentially prevent a guest from taking the entire stand of dessert to their table (members of my family have done this at various weddings). Perhaps, I can also place togo boxes out towards end of the reception rather than the beginning?Thanks for the advice!

ETA: Saw an updated comment to place boxes out towards the end. If it isn't considered rude then I'll gladly proceed with this route and order more desserts to ensure there's more than enough. Unfortunately, I can't prepackage desserts in boxes since there are 5 types of desserts (mini fruit tarts, chocolate strawberries, rice krispy treats, mini cheesecakes).

Give me all the desserts. Thank you.

That's what you need to plan for. If I like cookies, I'm taking more than one. Always prepare for more. Better to be left with extras than people not getting anything.

If you want to control portioning you should proportion and package the items

ETA- I just saw your question about your DOC. IMO DOCs have plenty to do day of. If you need an attendant for your dessert bar perhaps discuss adding a DOC assistant or another server through your caterer?

Xilyl, I guess your DOC could do that, but I would rather my DOC oversee more important things instead of having to worry about refilling cookies.

Yes! My caterer or DOC's assistant is able to refill the items too. I just suggested day of coordinator since part of her package includes "designing" the dessert table, but not sure what the role of her assistant is? In the end, it wouldn't matter who refills the dessert.

We didn't control it. Some people took more than they should have and looking back it might have been best to have servers.

I've been to weddings where the candy bar was cleaned out, after half the guests left; at another, half the candy was left.

I had a candy/dessert buffet for my guests and I thought I got a LOT but it was CLEANED out. Majority of my guests were Chinese (and I suspect yours will be too...) and I think they get a bit more excited about treats...

For the things that you can buy, I'd suggest having a lot of extras that your DOC/assistant can refill and just return any unopened items.

For the desserts that you've set aside a certain number for each guest, why don't you just have that served to the guests instead of on display for the taking at the dessert bar?