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Savvy July 2015

Overnight guest night before wedding and wedding night? Help!

Jess, on September 2, 2014 at 1:37 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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So I am about 10 months away from my wedding and already loosing sleep. Tension between fiance and I because we live in PA with our two daughters 10 and 2 and most of our family and friends live in NJ about 1hr and 15 min away (no family in PA) and we can't agree on overnight guest the night before the wedding and the night of our wedding. My plan was to have my mom, my only sister which is my maid of honor, brother in law, and nephew (will be a year old) sleep over the night before to help with the flowers and because we are getting ready together the day of the wedding. Now he says that he wants his three friends from Florida stay with us since they are going out of their way to come to our wedding. I really like them but I feel it's too many people and I will be completely overwhelemed. That would be a total of 7 females and 4 males using two bathrooms to get ready for a wedding. Can you imagine! Oh and that doesn't include the makeup artist and hair stylist that will be here. Iam thinking of not having anyone sleep over and having my mom and sis come the day of the wedding to avoid tension between my fiance and I. However, that means my mom and sis will be beyond mad at me. Especially because i have a decent size home(but not big enough to accommodate so many people). Either way Iam gonna have him mad at me or my mom and sis. What do u do?!! Oh and I don't have the funds to pay for anyone's hotel.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Jess, on September 2, 2014 at 6:49 AM

Master July 2015
Happy In Hawaii · on September 2, 2014 at 1:52 AM
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Mom and sister sounds like a better plan since they'll be helping you with getting ready. Is your FH sleeping at home the night before too? If you don't want to see each other maybe him and his three friends from Florida can all have kind of a guys night and share a room to save on costs. I really don't think you should host that many people and then you'll feel like you have to entertain everyone. I think that your FH's three friends could easily split costs, if I'm traveling to a wedding then I only will go if I can afford accommodations. They should budget for that if they plan to come to the wedding too. I gotta take your side on this one :-) by the way...we're date twins!
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Expert October 2014
Megan · on September 2, 2014 at 1:55 AM
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I definitely think that is too much!! We were going to have the same situation and ended up deciding everyone should just stay in a hotel nearby. It's nearly impossible to coordinate everyone's schedules and it was easiest to just let everyone do their own thing. You could contact a local hotel and see if you could get a discounted rate, but I definitely don't think you should be required to pay for any of the rooms.
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VIP September 2014
Jenn...Mrs. F! · on September 2, 2014 at 2:53 AM
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We did the opposite! We have 4+ Us staying here overnight. And all 7 BM and moms coming over day of to get ready! It'll be crazy but it's what works and makes everyone happy. I'm giving my phone to MOH and going with the flow!
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Master April 2015
MrsDean · on September 2, 2014 at 4:56 AM
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I think 7 is too many people too. I had a candid talk with my family and told them it would be too overwhelming for me to have guests stay at my house the week of the wedding. It just gets too crazy. Everyone was cool with it and is staying in a hotel (I hope!). But the night of the wedding, FH and I are staying in separate hotel rooms, so we're closer to the wedding venue. Maybe you, your mom and your sis can stay at a hotel the night before the wedding and FH and his friends can stay at your place?
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Savvy July 2015
Jess · on September 2, 2014 at 6:49 AM
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Thanks for the advice ladies. Heres the thing... Two out of the three from Florida are sisters and they have a rep to take hours getting ready and the third is the husband of one of them. Also, it just doesnt feel right to me to have my mom and sis stay at a hotel being we are so close and they would be helping me with flowers, my girls, and getting ready. With them I wouldnt feel like iam hosting. I would like to get ready without worrying about hosting. If his friends stay here that would also mean that he would have to pick them up at their families house which is about 1hr and 40 minutes away. I dont want any added stress being Iam a DIY bride and need him to help with as much as possible. Ive traveled two hours to and from a wedding with two kids in one day. Wish he would understand that we cant accommodate so many people in one house. I know it sounds crazy but I would rather they stay here the night of the wedding and not the night before my big day. I would be much more relaxed and would enjoy their company without worrying about all of us getting ready at once.
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