Overly pushy vendors?

Just explain to the vendors that a special moment like this deserves both consideration from you and your SO and that you will be in touch to set up a consultation as soon as you have a date that both of you can be there on. If the vendor respects you at all, then they will understand and will await a response to set something up. If they can't, then maybe they are not a vendor you want to go with.

Personally I would be completely annoyed if you already explained that your FH isn’t available. If you already explained and they continued to push I would thank them for their time and let them know you will reach out once you have a better idea of your schedule. I most likely wouldn’t book with that vendor. All of my vendors were amazing and accommodating to work with.

View Quoted Comment Good idea thank you. I understand they have to follow up to make a sale but it’s just a bit alarming how pushy he is. I followed up with him last night at 8pm and he emails me back and then follows up with another email at 6am. And then throughtour the day he sends another email when I’m at work and don’t have time to respond.

View Quoted Comment Good idea thank you. I’m already leaning on the side that I don’t want to go with them based on these interactions.

One of the photographers we originally reached out to was like this and we decided not to go with him for this reason. If you reach out to me multiple times in one day when I’ve already expressed I need to speak with my FH first, to me it seems like you’re just hungry for my business($$&dollar and that’s not who I wanted to work with.

To me, when people are pushy like that it makes me concerned that there is something wrong. I tend to be a bit on the cynical side when it comes to vendors, so my view is a bit negative.

I.e. if they have a lot of work, how could they have enough time to follow up that often? And if they are that desperate for work, how do I know they won't go under before my day?

Just be clear in communication... "Thank you for getting back to me so quickly! We're not quite ready to meet yet, but I will reach out to you to set a meeting up when we figure out a time that works. Thank you again!" That let's them know that you want to reach out to them again. If they follow up one more time, that's okay, but if they KEEP following up repeatedly, then that becomes annoying and I'd probably tell the vendor I'm not interested anymore. The one vendor that offered a phone meeting may just be letting you know there is another option if you didn't want to meet in person but wanted to chat sooner. He or she may have been trying to be helpful, so don't get annoyed with him/her just yet (unless he/she keeps pestering you).

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This is definitely too much! I'm a photographer and I do follow up with people, after about 1-2 days if I don't hear, but not repeatedly throughout the day! Geez.

That doesn’t come across like he has your best interests in mind, more like he is trying to bankroll your deposit $. Be wary proceeding with him.

Well, why are you making inquiries with people if you're not ready to meet with them? Most vendors won't just give you a price right off the bat, they need the details of your wedding and to know what you're looking for. Hence, the request to schedule a meeting. February is right around the corner, why can't you just schedule now for a February date? In-person meetings are also not necessary for every single type of vendor.

View Quoted Comment Yeah i definitely replied based on suggestions above and he hasnt responded back yet. Kind of weird.

View Quoted Comment Actually many of the vendors I have spoken with have give me quotes or at least ranges of what is typically spent which has been super helpful. In my message I told them that I know most of this is individualized and prices vary but A general price range would be great. I know the vendors time is valuable and I don’t want to meet with vendors that aren’t within my budget and waste their time, thus why I send out a message first. I told him I wanted to schedule a February meeting but he insisted on a meeting via phone next week. I know in person meetings aren’t necessary, thus why he suggested a phone meeting but my fiancé won’t even be with me (we live two hours away from each other) or available until February.

I wouldn't work with a vendor who sounds that desperate to meet and (presumably) take your deposit to book them. Depending on the vendor, you can look at their prices online before contacting them, like with photographers. If it's a florist or a DJ or someone else who may not have packages listed somewhere do not contact them until you are ready to pay the deposit and book. It's a waste of your time and theirs. Phone consultations are totally fine if you're comfortable with them, my FH and I had one with an officiant on a weeknight when we got home from work.

View Quoted Comment I’m perfectly fine with phone consultations (although I prefer to get to know people in person) but it’s moreso because my fiancé lives two hours away from me because I recently moved for work, and I would like for him to be present in case he comes up with questions I forget! But anyway after I responded to him he hasn’t responded sooo yeah.

Just set them straight, let them know you are getting an idea of costs and not ready and you will contact them when you are ready. They can't force you. I spoke to a few early on to get an idea of their services further, but that was it. I let them know i was not making any decisions until further notice. Most of them understood. I didn't choose any of the super picky ones anyway. My florist however did suggest meeting up when i told her i wasn't ready but it was super helpful as she helped me figure out what type of flowers id want and different ideas. I didn't feel pressured, but i did appreciate her helping me. My videographer did a facetime interview. Many were fine with facetime or skype or on the phone such as my officiant. My photographer and I met up in person at a starbucks. My fiance met with a few, others he trusted my judgement. I did appreciate him being there and his questions

If you aren't comfortable and they aren't willing to work with you maybe it's time to move on. You have lots of other options. When we were looking for invites I found an independent designer whose work I LOVED and I asked her some questions. She offered me an amazing price to book right then but I was really just looking for a quote and some idea of how it worked. She wouldn't give me the offer if I waited more than 24 hours to book and I wasn't ready to book. So we didn't use her. I ended up paying a little bit more than I would have if I booked her but I didn't order our invitations for another four months and did not like being pressured to either do it "right now" or not get her deal. You know what you want and need so be firm in asking for that.