Overbearing in laws

Hi Bride11918! Hmm I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Have you mentioned to your FH how these comments make you feel? As perhaps your FFIL doesn't intend them that way and your FH knowing his father's personality may have a different interpretation of it, given his own relationship with his father.

Yeah. With no other context given here, you may be overthinking this.

I'd just let it go. So long as you don't hear anything active from your FFIL trying to drive a wedge between you, this just seems like a question. And not an invalid one. Sure, perhaps you and FH know how happy you are with each other, but I assume FFIL doesn't see that each and every day.

My FMIL is great, I mean she has a few little things here and there that pick at me a little bit but nothing out of the ordinary ( I hope). She used to be very dependent on FH and has a hard time letting go. But she was dependent in ways that are like iffy, she is married and FSIL also lives there, all of them work and they divide the expenses for their home in between the 3. Combined they make about $100k a year but their expenses are very low and they're always broke and looking to borrow money. A few times that she did not know I was around and FH had her on speaker I heard her ask him if he was really happy, if I treated him good, etc? The 1st time I was like whatever, but again and again, stop it? FH told her to stop asking him that she was being rude and that he loved me. He's also recently told them that we need to pay for our wedding so they need to be more responsible with their money and not spend it all on unnecessary stuff when they know they have bills to pay, etc. ( They were heavy drinkers and would spend all of their money on alcohol regardless of having rent due, bills due, etc. FH would always cover so it was not that big of a deal). Luckily that has ended ad only recently have they asked for help to bring FH grandparents to our wedding to which I also agreed to because I'd do the same for my grandparents if they were alive.

My words are coming from the other end because my dad asked my mom (they're divorced, have been for years) if I was actually happy with my FH. I was definitely taken back by it because we are nothing but happy, but my dad doesn't take the time to get to know my FH, so that's just him being his usual self. I totally understand where you're coming from and how you're feeling, especially since you're indicating you've already had problems with FFIL. My dad is the same way. Just know you and your FH are the only two that know your relationship and y'all are truly happy. No one else's opinions matter. Yes, they hurt, but you just have to chalk it up to that being how they are and forget it. Sorry you're dealing with that!

I honestly think its a sign of good parenting to ask those questions. I found out years later that my father thought I wasn't happy before my first marriage. Not that him telling my 21-year old self (way too young to get married) would have made much of a difference, but I wish he would have shared his opinion to make me stop and think. So this time around, I sat down with my parents and asked what they truly thought of my FH. And if I looked happy. It was a good discussion!

They just want you and your FH to be happy!! Its good that she asked him It means she cares about him and his future.