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MK
Expert September 2021

Over it.. but in a good way!

MK, on April 14, 2021 at 2:49 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 9
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Has anyone reached this weird place during wedding planning where you really don't care about the details anymore? Is it normal, or should I be concerned? LOL

When I first got engaged, I hit the ground running with planning. I was very particular about every single detail of every single thing to do with all things wedding. I was an emotional rollercoaster, honestly. But it feels like, over night, I flipped a switch and stopped caring about anything. My mom called me to discuss shower decor and caterers - my exact words were "Mom, I really don't have a preference. Whatever you think!". I'm sure this was the first time I had spoken those words over any wedding detail. Another friend wanted to switch her dress color and I couldn't have cared less. She literally asked if I was okay...

Did this happen to anyone else?! I feel a really odd sense of freedom in not caring as much!

9 Comments

Latest activity by Eniale, on April 16, 2021 at 11:44 AM
  • Natalie
    Expert November 2020
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, I think this past year has really given a lot of us a new perspective on what is important and what is not, learning not to sweat the small stuff!
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Devoted August 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag

    I go through waves... when I start getting to that level, I stop planning for a little while, pick it up in a few weeks and I'm back to caring. I don't allow it to take over my life though and obsess over EVERY SINGLE DETAIL either.

    • Reply
  • Erika
    Savvy September 2021
    Erika ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! I have been taking little breaks here and there because my anxiety just goes through the roof. I'm the type that wants everything done right now. I made a list of all the "little" things that need done and am just slowly checking them off.

    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy May 2021
    Kreshelle ·
    • Flag

    Yes Ma'am! We're a month away, my MIL is supposed to be putting together our centerpieces. I've been at her since last year to start buying the materials and trying to figure out everything she needs. Now she's at me to pick this or that and make decisions and I'm over here like whatever you want, I don't care lol.

    • Reply
  • Nikki
    Expert March 2021
    Nikki ·
    • Flag
    I got this way during set up. I was just done with people coming to for ideas. I’m not creative one bit and my sis who passed way was that person for me. I pretty much was to the point of calling it off cause I was so over whelmed or some one tried to change my idea on something I would shut down. Yes I say it’s normal lol
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag

    I totally felt like along the way i kind of stopped placing importance on certain things. some of my friends felt like i was compromising on things i wanted and i said honestly when you start to wedding plan you begin to see that as long as you got the major things you want and prioritize, everything else was optional. so i do kind of feel like my attention to certain details i initially wanted, waned.

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Beginner August 2021
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    Hello

    I think I've always been generally relaxed. No point in worrying about small details that people won't even remember.

    I think it helps a lot when you're Christian (Catholic). You're not blinded by materialism and silly things. It's about God, ya know?

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari Online ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't say I was overly particular to begin with. Like I had an idea of flower colors, but gave my florist the freedom to choose specific blooms, that kind of thing. Then Covid came and our wedding dreams were crushed. We eloped on our original date but it felt disappointing. I mourned and grieved the loss of our wedding day a lot.

    We are now trying to figure out how we can have our wedding celebration this year. We have already given up so much and it feels like every couple weeks or so there is another let down. My MOH and some other close friends won't be there. If we have our celebration when we planned, we may still have to mask and socially distance and further reduce our already small guest list. If we move the date we lose some vendors and need to either replace them and spend more money or go without. The salon I was going to have my hair done at really screwed me over last year so I need to style my own hair now and cannot get anything I do to last more than a couple hours. The only way to protect my mental health is to not care so much about things. So I no longer care
    what colors the flowers are or what style my hair is (as long as its styled) or who is at our event (as long as my husband and some of our friends are there). The few last minute things we had not yet finalized before Covid hit I'm not even thinking about any more (no welcome bags or guest favors for example, they are not important). If we lose our rental company I don't care if the chairs don't match or we need paper napkins instead of elegant cloth ones. If we lose our florist I'm ready to just not have any flowers at all or just random finds from the grocery store. I always felt like I focused on the things that mattered, but I did care about other niceties even when they weren't a top priority. Now I feel like I'm compromising on almost everything, and not caring is the only way to not end up disappointed.

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like decision fatigue to me.

    You've been constantly bombarded with choices - what colors? Venue? What flowers? What dress? What dresses and suits for attendants? Veils? Shoes? Makeup? Hair? Food? Drinks? Invitations?

    A lot of decisions go into planning, and every single one of those decisions has near-limitless choices. Maybe you're just worn out from having to pick things.

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