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Dedicated June 2023

Over Inviting for Destination Wedding?

bevbabe, on September 18, 2021 at 5:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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Do you think it's okay to invite 200 people to our wedding that can only have 150? Normally I wouldn't do this, but it's a destination wedding in Europe so I'm expecting more declines than usual.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Lisa, on September 19, 2021 at 12:36 PM
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    I think 50 more than your capacity would be too much. Maybe inviting like 10 to 20 extra would be OK. You may want to send out save-the-dates because some people will contact you and let you know they won't come, thus giving you a better estimate of your attendance.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    Never invite more people than the venue can hold and you can afford. 100% guest attendance happens more often than you think. B listing is also impolite. 150 capacity means bride and groom as well. In some situations it includes all staff working as well for fire safety codes.



    Send save the dates to all invited guests 6 months before the wedding. Send actual invites at 8-10 weeks. Employers do not give out final schedules before 4 weeks and people in general can’t predict anything that far in the future due to the pandemic.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    I would not recommend inviting more than the venue can hold. You'll probably get some declines due to the destination being far away, but you don't want to rely on it. It'd be super awkward to have to tell people who RSVP'd "yes" that you have to uninvite them because too many people accepted the invite.

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  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool Online ·
    • Flag
    I agree with not inciting more than your venue holds - especially 50 extra.
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  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    This is a good point. The save the dates would give me a good head count and if people say they aren't coming I could sent invites to the extra people.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Sending invites to a second group is considered impolite and people do know that they are your 2nd or 5th choice.
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  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    I didn't mean invites. I meant sending save the dates and then if some people decline then send a few more actual invitations out.

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    People aren't expected to respond to Save the Dates.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    People don’t respond to save the dates. But once they are sent, you must send an invitation. The only way to cancel a save the date is call off the wedding.
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  • Jacks
    Master September 2019
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Always expect 100% attendance.

    People aren't expected to RSVP to a save the date.

    Don't "B-list" your guests. People who were invited in the second round always know.

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  • DIANA
    Just Said Yes June 2022
    DIANA ·
    • Flag
    Thanks for asking. we were planning to invite 200, but were hoping for 160. our venue is 2 hours from our home and at the beach. Labor day weekend so we assumed that ppl would decline. I will talk to my FH to figure out our "100%" response plan.
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  • Dedicated June 2022
    ·
    • Flag
    If the venue can only hold 150 people, inviting 200 is a mistake. That means you are hoping 50 people can’t come, that’s a huge amount of people. I really don’t think you should invite more than the venue can hold.
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  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    Technically, but sometimes people do let you know they won't be able to make it when they get a save the date. I've seen it happen.

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  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    Of course. I understand that.

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  • B
    Dedicated June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    I do think 50 above is a bit much. I'll adjust the guest list.

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  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I think over inviting that many is very risky. While it is a destination wedding, people may accept and use it as an excuse to travel abroad since traveling has been limited the last year/year and half.
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