Over controlling mother

I would say none, just because she's paying for extra people to come that weren't in the original plan- not contributing to your budgeted amount of people. I'd say that planning and everything is still up to you.

Tell her you don't want her money. We stopped and had to cut people at 150 because I cannot pay for more than that. I am really hoping we come in less than that. If I have 200 people at my wedding I will absolutely lose it. My nerves and anxiety will be sooo overwhelming. 200 people makes me freak out, 125, I can handle.

If your venue only fits the amount of people you want, you refuse her money. My parents are inviting people (that I know) to my wedding that wouldn't have otherwise been invited but they're paying for all their guests (and have actually paid for other parts of the wedding too). If you don't want more guests, say no. If you're ok with it, let her invite people. I did still have a say over who my parents put on their guest list.

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to stand up to your Mom. Tell her you are sorry but you are sticking to your original plan and having the small wedding you want. She is welcome to host her friends at any other social occasion in her own home.

I had the same issue with my mom and I had to just put my foot down. She was disappointed that all of her friends did not make the guest list, but I reminded her that the wedding is small (100 guests invited, hoping for 85-90), and we just want to celebrate with the people who have had a meaningful impact on our lives. At the end of the day it’s your wedding, and if you are really not ok having the extra people there than you just need to be honest and help your mom understand.

View Quoted Comment She can host a post wedding luncheon or something for her friends. Im having that, as my mom says her "friends won't come" To my out of town wedding so werent invited. Ugh moms.

If what you are wanting is a small wedding, then stick to that and tell her no. I don't know how many guests you want, but I would think 50 more would overwhelm a small guest list and you want to celebrate with those nearest and dearest to you.

Decline her money. This is your and fiance's wedding not her reunion with friends. Be firm.

Sorry, if you are paying for the wedding, you have the final say. It doesn't matter that she is willing to pay for the extra guests.... that's bribing to get her way and I think is a bit rude.

Definitely on board with pps on declining the $$ and doing what you want, because this is YOUR day and her wanting to invite 50 people will change that a lot more than it seems. do the small wedding you want and put your foot down! she can hang out with who she wants to after your married.

Had to add - dang that is A LOT of people!!! We invited 50 people TOTAL to our wedding!!! This must be one popular woman!!!

Decline. My mil was trying to do that to me. She wanted to invite 75 people to our wedding and we were to 200 guests. I said hell no and stop planning the wedding and had to start all over because she was trying to run things. And she didn't even want to pay for a better venue. We took control and cut our list drastically. We are under 50 and still cutting it. We haven't told anyone our plans because we are paying for it. She did say originally she would pay for the photographer so I'm hoping she sticks to it. Invite who you want. Maybe let her bring a bf but that's it.

I'm a mom, and my advice is: Just Say No.

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I am a mom too and I can not fathom trying to invite 50 people (50!!!) to someone else's wedding!!! That takes nerve.