Over budget, stressed, and possibly losing family

I am way over budget which I know happens but I feel like this wedding is turning into a money pit. I am the only one planning it, I have 2 babies, I cook and clean, I work and right now am the sole provider as my fiance got laid off a couple months ago, and Im in graduate school. I am getting no sleep and overwhelmed especially with people invited. The wedding is really small. I was hoping for 32 guest but it seems I'll be lucky to get 20. I feel annoyed to the point where whoever doesn't come without a good reason will be dead to me. My fiance side of the family say they can't afford to come (it's a 4 hrs drive). We thought his immediate family (mom, sister, granddad and friend) would come but his granddad said he would not come (no health issues) he just said we are trying to "live rich celebrity lives" because the wedding is on the beach and he doesn't know why we can't have it behind the trailer homes outside where my fiance is from. My side of the family is making up most of the list but certain people who I expected more from are looking to be flaky. I have taken care of their kids for months when needed, got them jobs, do their taxes, let them borrow money and more all for free and I have never asked for anything in return. I am always there and I invite them to my wedding and giving them discounts to get there and they seem like they are not showing up for me.
My closest uncle when I invited him called my mom to see if I was telling the truth and I have never asked this man for anything. When I mention the wedding he either doesn't respond or says he forgot all about it. His daughter who I have done more things to count for and we use to talk almost daily before I told her I was engaged just doesn't answer messages anymore and if I see her in person her excuse is she doesn't really check text messages. We can be talking and I mention the wedding then it's silence which her acting like this is the most hurtful because of our history. Another close cousin said she was coming but I told her she couldn't wear a white gown to my wedding and she said she wouldn't come if she can't wear what she wants. She also came over unexpectedly wearing her wedding ring from her ex-husband to come compare it to mine. I feel like everything is falling apart and the wedding is so small it's not worth the money I'm spending out which is non refundable. I don't know how to get organize and don't know what to do about my family.