Out of Town Guests & Rehearsal dinners

About 75% of our guests will be from out of town. When my FMIL first suggested that for the rehearsal dinner we make it a welcome dinner as well I thought she was crazy. . . But now I'm leaning more on her side because I don't want all of these guests coming into a town they haven't been to with nothing to do. But it really is a personal preference.

The rehearsal dinner is only for the people in the rehearsal and their SOs and immediate family, and possibly officiant. So, bridal party, their SOs, your and his parents and siblings (and SOs), and maybe officiant. No out of towners unless you want to.

We are doing the same thing. Since so many of our guests are from out of town, we are inviting them to our rehearsal dinner so we can spend more time with them.

Unfortunately I don't have any good suggestions for you. Our hotel is across the street from a Maggianos so we're having dinner there. We are doing a reception style event with seating and cutting out alcohol for this dinner but it's adding up really quick.

We are having a destination wedding, so it is advised we invite all our guests.

The cost can get a little much though, and I like yourself was looking at spending well over $1k on a sit down for 12-15 in Maui. We instead have opted for a casual gathering at the rental condo and found a reasonably priced catering company for appetizers and a small buffet.

Just going out for pizza together works just fine too. It's a chance to get everyone together, but doesn't have to be fancy or too expensive.

We are having a destination wedding so everyone is OOT. Instead of a rehearsal dinner we are doing welcome drinks with appetizers for everyone at a really awesome bar in FL. Its going to be about the same $$ as doing a full dinner for the bridal party/family would be, but yea a full dinner for everyone was out of the question for us

We are doing a day after 'brunch' for all of the out of towners. It's going to be at FH's parents community clubhouse. We are basically just gonna order pizzas and pop. Just a chance to see everyone and thank them for traveling to see us get married. Our rehearsal dinner will only be immediate family and bridal party.

Whoever told you that is wrong. The RD is just for the BP, so's, parents, your officiant (if they are running it). The end. And it can be pizza and beer.

Don't make it into a second wedding; in a way, I think that really steals some thunder....

I'd keep rehearsal dinner to those directly involved in the wedding- the reception is for out of town guests

I am not sure if we are inviting all out of town guests or not. But we are doing super casual just at our home and ordering pizza. We will have some drinks as well.

The out of town guests won't be arriving until the wedding day. So, it's just the bridal party (and families), officiant and parents.

We had to deal with this too...we lost. The RD is now about 60 people. Ugh. FMIL offered to throw it, then demanded we have all of these OOT guests and "immediate family" (when she says that, she means all the aunts and uncles and cousins). We wanted it to be the BP (and SOs) close family involved in the wedding ceremony, and the officiant; however, (as evidenced by this thread) quite a few people (i.e. a lot of parents of brides on here) like to think the RD should include OOT guests and various other family members, thereby giving us brides major headaches and making the RD guest list about 50% of the total guest list count.

Similar situation with a destination wedding. Considering doing a BBQ at a close-by large vacation rental or going to a brewery that can handle a lot of people without a fee. Might make it a rehearsal LUNCH to make it cheaper. Then we could always hang out with other OOT guests in the evening..

I asked this question a long time ago because i have a similar situation and most people said to just keep it to BP and immediate family. After some thought I decided to do just BP and immediate family. It would just add up so quickly (cost-wise) and in the end was just not worth the added hassle.

The majority of our guest list is OOT guests. I was under the impression that the rehearsal dinner was just for parents of the bride/groom, the BP, and their SO's. Those are the only people we're inviting! We'll be going to a restaurant near the hotel and my FILs are hosting/paying for it so we can't accommodate 40+ people...

My mom wanted us to host all OOT guests at the RD. FH and I didn't want to do that as it would be a second wedding since most of our guests are OOT. Since FH and his nana are hosting the RD, we ended up deciding just to do parents, BP and their SO and our grandparents.

We had the same exact problem! My FMIL was shocked when I said all OOT guests are usually invited. We couldn't even find a place to accommodate all those people without renting out a room and catering. Personally, I didn't want to have a huge pre-wedding thing because I thought it might take away from the wedding. We decided to do it small and then invite everyone out for drinks after just to say hello and see everyone.

As others have said, just say no to that. There is no such etiquette rule. And here's a little secret: a rehearsal is unnecessary and without a rehearsal, you don't have to have a rehearsal dinner. If you decide to do a rehearsal, there is absolutely nothing wrong with inviting only the bridal party, their significant others, and your immediate family. No one else needs to be invited.

Now, if you can afford to and want to host all those people, a "welcome dinner" is very nice, especially for a destination wedding. It doesn't have to be fancy. Pizza and beer is totally acceptable. But this is an extra that is totally not required, like programs, menus, favors, none of which we're doing. We are going to do a low-key welcome dinner because that's what we wanted to do since nearly 100% of our guest list will be traveling.

For the rehearsal it should just be your bridal party, the officiant and parents. No need for so many people. And instead of getting a cater and paying the same both nights, do it family style and have everyone bring something. It doesn't need to be fancy it's really just so everyone knows what they're doing in the wedding.

Right. No one needs a rehearsal. It doesn't make anything go any better if you have a good coordintor on the day, and if you don't? You need one. Rehearsing little kids is fruitless, and adults know how to walk and stand.

By the middle of your wedding week? You'll be flat out delighted not to one...or the massive social event that follows.

And if you do one, do NOT do pot luck. You are already asking people to take a night to do something they don't need to do; this is your thank you to them for standing with you and supporting you. Don't make them cook too.