Out of state wedding - invite debacle!

I think you’re right and that a note is unnecessary! If he talks to any of these couples he can communicate that but the note seems strange to me.

You're definitely doing the right thing. I would be so confused if I got that note.

View Quoted Comment I agree. Let him speak to them if he finds it so necessary.

I would think the note is both unnecessary and weird. If they don't want to travel they know they can just decline. Just the invitation will be fine!

Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only one to think it would be weird!! Thanks

I would not put a note in. I would find it very strange to get something like that! People will travel if they want to, and decline if they don't.

The note is totally unnecessary. They will be thrilled that they were thought of even if you know they can't make it. Plus, they may surprise you and really try to come! A lot of people have surprised me. A lot of my PA family is coming to FL for my wedding that I never expected.

Explain to dad that putting a note like that will come across as very gift grabby. Hey! I'm getting married, I don't really care if you come, but since I'm inviting you, you probably ought to send me a gift! K thx bye

I wouldn't put a note. Those invited know it's not mandatory to come.

I wouldn't. They might find it offensive that you don't expect them to travel, I think I'd take that in a weird way. People know you don't expect them to travel. We have more than 100 out of state guests. With our Save the Dates, we had our wedding website 100% set up with 2 hotel blocks & airport information as well as a drop in card about the hotel block we are in. Other than that we didn't do anything else.

We are not including a note. Even people we don't think will show up are getting invites. 95% of our guests are from out of state. We are in SC and have family coming from as far away as Alaska and London. Some people will indeed travel that from afar.

I live in CO and I’m from Charlotte and having an Asheville wedding too! Just send the invites. Ppl know already if they can’t come they won’t. No need to add the awkwardness.

Our wedding is out of state for everyone as well, and I definitely agree that including a note like that is unnecessary! I would find it a little off-putting, not sure why though.

I don’t that you need a note.

I wouldn't do the note. As a guest I would probably take it wrong and think that you invited me out of obligation but don't really want me to go or something. Also like PP mentioned it might even come off as gift grabby. "Hey I don't expect you to come to the wedding but here's the info so you can send a gift" type thing.

You are correct, you do not need the note. The save the date will give them plenty of time to decide if they want to come to the wedding and to save for travel, if need be.

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I agree with this. As a guest I might think you expected me not to travel and I would wonder why. This might actually offend them which is not what your dad wants! An invitation is just that - an invitation. It is not a summons. Anyone is free to decline, travel or no travel.

I am in your similar situation except my dad isn't opinionated lol however our guests are mainly all from out of town and my mom is no Longer here to help as well. I wouldn't include a note personally because that's what the STD is for. For example I sent one to my cousin and aunt. I know they don't really have the means to travel often however they did finally take a vacation to Florida, where I am, last year for the first time so who's to say they will or won't have the means to travel for our wedding in June. That's up to them once they receive the STD if they will come or not. Like we know we have that family member or two who will most likely not make it but the thought that they were included counts. Hopefully this process can go smooth for you!

Agreeing with everyone else—no note needed! Dad can talk to them if he feels he has to.