Out of state guest and covid- what would you do?

If we had any upcoming weddings in the next few months, I don’t think we would be attending. Especially one across the country. I would call or FaceTime with the bride/groom to apologize and wish them love & health on their big day. Also send a card with your regrets & a gift because after all, they’re still going to be paying for your plates.

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I agree with all of this, except that this far out caterers shouldn't require a headcount so I wouldn't feel guilty that they're still paying for your plates, because they aren't. I would guess that they will end up postponing or cutting the guest list to immediate family at some point in the future, but I wouldn't risk my health to attend anyone's wedding.

Do you mind saying what airline this is?

Is it united airlines ? Omg I’m glad you posted this! I was just thinking about the exact same bind I’m in just like you with a close friend and came across this post at exact moment

I would look up Scott's Cheap Flights. He's been giving a lot of good advice about airlines that are refusing to give refunds when they're supposed to. If this isn't over by July and your flight is cancelled, delayed by 2+ hours, or has a significant schedule change, they are required by law to refund you (in cash, not a voucher), no matter what their policy says. But if you cancel on your own, you'll be at the airline's mercy. Once you research your options, you'll be in a better postion to make a decision.


If you don't want to do the research or you're fine with getting a voucher (that you probably will have to use in a year), go ahead and cancel and then just rebook later if everything clears up. If their wedding isn't until July, you won't have to return an RSVP for a while, so just wait it out. The couple is well aware of what's going on, so no need to stress them even more this far out if you don't have to.

View Quoted Comment United airlines!

View Quoted Comment It is United! I was surprised because it said they are honoring cancelations for the year, but then also said we have to cancel by next week.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate the advice and research on this!! I will look into these options further, but definitely have considered canceling and rebooking closer to the date if everything was fine. I completely agree with not wanting to stress anyone else out further, that is the last thing I would want to do.

View Quoted Comment Agree. If you don’t want to risk waiting for the airline to cancel the flight and you think you’ll use a voucher within a year I would cancel and rebook closer to the date. My guess is the flight will end up being impacted in some way (probably won’t be flying as frequently as scheduled by then) but wouldn’t chance it. If I were in your situation I would probably want to make the decision on traveling closer to the date and not feel pressure just because a flight is booked.

I would cancel the flight now for a full refund. Then you can just book another flight closer to the wedding if you feel comfortable going.


Unless the couple are living under a rock i promise you they are aware people are in difficult situations when making a choice about their wedding. We know our guests are too- but we just feel its too early to cancel our wedding.

View Quoted Comment Figured! I was literally frantic after I checked my flight and realized we have until next week to change it !

Can you cancel and rebook later? I'd rather not be out the money. Too far to drive? I'm in a wedding in NJ at the end of July and haven't booked a flight yet. We're waiting until much closer and if there is still a wedding we might just drive form FL.

We're in the middle of a lethal pandemic. The couple needs to realize that people are not going to risk their lives traveling for a wedding. I wouldn't do anything you feel uncomfortable with. If they are truly a close friend, they will understand why you wouldn't want to travel cross country for a wedding in this time.

My vote is to cancel the flight while you can still get full refund and wait until you see how things are going. Then book at a closer date if (fingers crossed) things are better.

This whole thing is the reason we postponed!! Literally ALL of our guests were traveling from all parts of the country and we did not want to put this stress on them on top of the stress from the pandemic. If you feel comfortable traveling by July, then go ahead and go but if you do not or are considered High Risk for Covid, then cancel and get your refund.

View Quoted Comment United extended it until May 31 !

View Quoted Comment We ended up canceling the flights and will rebook closer to the date if we feel like it is safe to go. I appreciate all the feedback!